Money woes...but not mine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, then the food is probably all pork. I would continue to send food with your son.

What's wrong with pork? It all depends on how you cook it. I am Cuban, I eat pork, it melts in your mouth.

[Anonymous]

It is disgusting "food" from an intelligent animal. Stick with chicken or fish.

[Anonymous]

If the new wife speaks littleEnglish, how does she communicate with the OP’s son? Also, unless OP was there, how can she trust her son’s version of how he is being treated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I first read OP’s post, I was thinking that the new wife was from Thailand or the Philippines. I’m more familiar with Thai food (and East Asian cuisines) but I don’t think livers and onions feature in Asian cooking. This wife must be from Mexico or Eastern Europe.

You are right. The new wife is from Eastern Europe. Not going to name the exact country, sorry.

I don’t blame your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While you would not want your son to know about the request, how would he feel if his dad made comments to him about losing his home. I know a couple who let their former son in law stay in a older cabin, on some land they owned, for the sake of their grandson who could visit him there. He was able to pay them a small amount each month from disability. He was there until he passed away. They let their grandson have the land ( not worth much) which he considered to be an inheritance from his father.

It takes a long time for a home to be foreclosed on. They can postpone it for a few years by filing for bankruptcy. If you do want to help then wait until they lose the house then maybe gift him a deposit with the understanding that he is not to ask you for help again.

It would be better to wait and see what happens before doing anything. If he can’t find a job then he would still be at risk of losing his home even if you helped him with one mortgage payment. If your son becomes concerned about his dad becoming homeless then you could reassure him that it won’t happen for a long time. If you are willing to help with a deposit, at that point, then your son won’t worry that he will end up in a shelter or on the streets.

+1

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Ex husband new family are overweight and dd is not allowed to eat their food.

Wow, you are nasty.

Are you overweight?

That's the problem. If OP doesn't want her dd or son to eat unhealthy food. She has the right to control her kid eating habits. I wish more parents did what op is doing.

If a child goes over a few days a month, child can eat the food. You making weight comments and saying you cannot eat the food is a pretty cruel thing to do to a child. If you don't want your child eating the food and being a part of Dad's life, then just say so. Terminate his rights and move on. Otherwise, in Dad's home it is Dad's way of doing things. Once you divorce you lose the right to dictate what goes on in the other parents home.

LOL are you even a parent? I cannot make my own children eat the food they don't like to eat. I cannot imagine a random woman being able to make a teenager eat something they don't like and don't want to eat.

She isn't dictating what goes on in the other parent's home. "You must eat the food you're given there" would be dictating.

Yep, can’t convince my kids to eat things they don’t want to either. But I do say to at least try it once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So this man has a graduate degree and had a child with OP and pays nothing to help support the child. But he wants OP to help support his second wife who has two kids and they had a kid together? No, op should not have to fund his very poor choices. She already DOES help him by raising his child and paying for all of their child's expenses!

They have received stimulus and should be getting unemployment. Mortgage forbearance. Second larger stimulus in the works. Lots of community food support for the insecure. It’s too early in the process to grant a 1 time gift. I’d help to keep utilities to maintain hygiene during pandemic. Encourage he leverage the graduate degree and security clearance. Better sooner, signs pointing to things further declining before years long recovery.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Your son is rude not to make an effort with her and food. You sound really obnoxious. No you should not give them money but you should be kind and more supportive.

Not sure what you're smoking, but it must be some good stuff.

No way would I be making my kid eat fattening food he doesn't even like - as a TEEN - because it was cooked by a random woman his dad shacked up with and decided to give all his money to instead of paying his share to raise his kid.

This is his wife and there is something the kid can eat. You sound very off. You don't know if its fattening or not.

Wait, wait, wait... are you claiming to be the new wife??

NP here. If you knew how to read in context, you would understand that PP is saying it’s not a “random woman” who’s cooking but her ex-DH’s wife.

Gosh, sanctimony is such an attractive trait...

[Anonymous]

Nope. No support.

They can both get jobs in as Uber, Instacart delivery drivers.

You don't need to speak English to deliver food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I first read OP’s post, I was thinking that the new wife was from Thailand or the Philippines. I’m more familiar with Thai food (and East Asian cuisines) but I don’t think livers and onions feature in Asian cooking. This wife must be from Mexico or Eastern Europe.

It has to be Eastern Europe. This isn’t common in Mexican cooking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I first read OP’s post, I was thinking that the new wife was from Thailand or the Philippines. I’m more familiar with Thai food (and East Asian cuisines) but I don’t think livers and onions feature in Asian cooking. This wife must be from Mexico or Eastern Europe.

It has to be Eastern Europe. This isn’t common in Mexican cooking.

OP has already said that SM is from Eastern Europe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Your son is rude not to make an effort with her and food. You sound really obnoxious. No you should not give them money but you should be kind and more supportive.

Not sure what you're smoking, but it must be some good stuff.

No way would I be making my kid eat fattening food he doesn't even like - as a TEEN - because it was cooked by a random woman his dad shacked up with and decided to give all his money to instead of paying his share to raise his kid.

This is his wife and there is something the kid can eat. You sound very off. You don't know if its fattening or not.

Wait, wait, wait... are you claiming to be the new wife??

NP here. If you knew how to read in context, you would understand that PP is saying it’s not a “random woman” who’s cooking but her ex-DH’s wife.

Gosh, sanctimony is such an attractive trait...

The father's new wife, no blood relation, who does nothing to add value to your life and just siphons money away from your dad (and now your mom too) sounds pretty random to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So this man has a graduate degree and had a child with OP and pays nothing to help support the child. But he wants OP to help support his second wife who has two kids and they had a kid together? No, op should not have to fund his very poor choices. She already DOES help him by raising his child and paying for all of their child's expenses!

They have received stimulus and should be getting unemployment. Mortgage forbearance. Second larger stimulus in the works. Lots of community food support for the insecure. It’s too early in the process to grant a 1 time gift. I’d help to keep utilities to maintain hygiene during pandemic. Encourage he leverage the graduate degree and security clearance. Better sooner, signs pointing to things further declining before years long recovery.

+1 too early in the process. Ex is not asking OP as a last resort but as the first easy option. But he's also the son's bio dad, like it or not. I wonder if the Dad will say anything bad about OP to the teen son.