Daughter wants to shave her head

[Anonymous]

You can use clippers so that its not all the way bald. I have an AA DD and he hair is in its natural state right now which is how she wants it. I wouldnt be ok with bald, but a very short hair style I would be ok with.

[Anonymous]

Let her do it, but strongly recommend watching some Youtube videos on how to cut it maybe "Halle Berry short" and see how she likes it first. She can always go a bit farther and go GI Jane Demi Moore later.

Would note clippers are sold out on many websites and stores.

[Anonymous]

I love this actually

https://images.app.goo.gl/Ja1D8z9AKdtwnGoN7

[Anonymous]

I shaved my head in early high school, and it was a great experience. I really enjoyed it at the different stages, and I have happily kept my hair fairly long since then. I say let her do it!

[Anonymous]

I want to shave my head too...but probably not super professional. However, your daughter is young and doesn’t have to worry about that. Let her do it. If it is a mistake, it will grow back and she can laugh about it in a few years.

[Anonymous]

I've got kids on the spectrum and can appreciate the difficulty you find yourself in. In addition, one of my kids is super-sensitive to the vibration of clippers. I had to choose daily battles with hair care or a battle every 2-3 months with clippers. I chose clippers.

Even not knowing your exact situation, I would lean towards very short hair, not shaved, There are some really great hairstyles that require minimal upkeep. You may pay more for a good cut but it would be worth it. If, after trying very short hair, your DD later decides she wants to shave it, I would let her. I know several women with shaved heads and they look great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let her shave it. It’s just hair.

+1.

+1 I would just buy a few cute scarves just in case

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you mentioned your daughter is biracial. if i'm reading between the lines correctly, she has more typically "AA" hair vs. typically "white" hair. if this is the case, shaving her head will NOT solve the problem. it will grow back just as coarse/coily, and the shorter it is the LESS options she has.

Simple solution is to leave in conditioner (do not rinse it out), and do a simple ponytail with a braid. DO NOT comb through, just work through with your fingers. If her hair is not long enough or won't cooperate, you can do this in sections.

I am AA.

Does she have any AA friends or is she in touch with that side of the family? This might be an aunt/grandma/cousin conversation. Wishing you the best. I know this can be a tough time for all types of hair!

I know how to manage her hair. I am not AA, but I am not white either. My daughter’s hair type is 4B, while her sister is more 4A and mine is more 3C. So while nobody has the same hair and definitely nobody has what you are thinking about when you say “white hair”, I am pretty well versed in how to manage it and take very good care of it.
Now to those complaining my post lacked “joy” in my description of caring for her hair: My saying she has a lot of hair was a fact. She does. This has nothing to do with how much joy I take in taking care of her hair, because this post is not about me, it’s about her. How much I love her hair, how much I want her hair to be long and how much love I put into taking care of her hair (and her sister’s).

As I said, she is on the spectrum and she is a very practical, matter of fact person. Her hair is hot on her neck, so it bothers her. It also bothers her that it takes so long to wash it, detangle it and style it, because it does. Self care of all types are also a daily struggle, it’s not just the hair. FWIW, her sister has very long hair and loves her hair. She is younger, so who knows what she will do when she’s a teen, but so far she has no intentions on having short hair.

Are you helping her with her hair? I'm white with horribly frizzy, curly hair that's hard to manage. I chemically relax my hair and have done keratin. You need to help her. This poster is correct that shorter hair is much harder to work with. Have her wash it in the morning, use a good leave in conditioner and put it in a braid. You can pull the braid up in a clip or put all the hair in a clip twisting it inside too. There are lots of options beyond shaving it off. If she likes it straight, spend the money on a good keratin treatment and blow it dry. With keratin, it takes 1/2 the time to do and is amazing.

So then what is the problem, let her shave it? It will grow back and she's not at school so what does it matter? Not seeing the problem here, as others have said this is the best time to expeiriment!

[Anonymous]

I just let my 7yo DD dye her hair blue.....It brings her joy and I dont care.

[Anonymous]

Above PP again. DD is AA and I didnt know we could even dye her hair.....lol

[Anonymous]

I think you also need to factor in how she presents gender-wise. If she otherwise is pretty androgynous, then I would talk to her about how she will feel if people often mistake her for a boy. Will that bother her? If so, maybe cut it shorter but not so short that she can’t still wear barrettes, etc. if she wants to have a feminine appearance. If she is otherwise really girly and enjoys makeup and things like that then I would ask how she will feel if her overall outfit/look doesn’t always “go” with short hair? It will be an adjustment. Is she okay with taking time to figure that out? Longer hair can be a big part of femininity so I would just make sure she is thinking through that aspect of it and I agree that you should do it in stages.

My niece is biracial black/white but her white relatives all have super thick, dry, curly hair anyway so she has very thick, super tight curls and has struggled with breakage on and off. She eventually settles on hair about six inches long (pulled straight), which is about 2-3 inches curly. That’s long enough that she can do braids in summer to easily fit under a swim cap or if she is traveling and wants to not have to deal with it, but it is also short enough to wear as an afro or in afro puffs or wear a scarf/headband over her baby hairs for lower-maintenance days or to pin back with fancy pins when she wants to look nice for a dance or recital. It’s been a versatile length for her, so you could start with something in-between like that and then go shorter as your DD requests.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes kids just need to feel in control of something. Hair is temporary. Let her do as she wishes.

[Anonymous]

If her hair is really curly, like mine, longer hair is much easier to take care of and pull it back. She will be teased if she cuts it all off. Cut 6 inches or so depending on length but keep it shoulder length. Help her do her hair, teacher her to do braids and either relax or keratin if its that hard to manage. (relax if she's not blowing it dry to take some of the kink out and if she's blowing it dry, keratin). Cutting it short or off will be far worse.

[Anonymous]

Let her do what she wants

[Anonymous]

Don't know your daughter but can share my experience- My mother let me cut all my hair off in middle school- not shaved but a short crew cut situation. I was so happy. I felt so free! So many people did not recognize me the next day at school and sometimes people did think I was a boy. I didn't care- loved it. It is long again now. I'm really glad my mother respected my autonomy and let me go for it. If it is your daughter and not you who really wants this I would say now is the perfect time to tell her it is up to her and if she wants to she can. Tell her no and you may run the risk of making any negative feelings she has about her hair an even bigger issue? Maybe check out some super short/shaved pics with her for inspiration and clarity on exactly what length she wants so she is not just making a "I can't deal with my hair" choice but also a style choice. Good luck!