Reply to Daughter wants to shave her head

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[quote=Anonymous]I think you also need to factor in how she presents gender-wise.  If she otherwise is pretty androgynous, then I would talk to her about how she will feel if people often mistake her for a boy.  Will that bother her?  If so, maybe cut it shorter but not so short that she can’t still wear barrettes, etc. if she wants to have a feminine appearance.  If she is otherwise really girly and enjoys makeup and things like that then I would ask how she will feel if her overall outfit/look doesn’t always “go” with short hair?  It will be an adjustment.  Is she okay with taking time to figure that out?  Longer hair can be a big part of femininity so I would just make sure she is thinking through that aspect of it and I agree that you should do it in stages.

My niece is biracial black/white but her white relatives all have super thick, dry, curly hair anyway so she has very thick, super tight curls and has struggled with breakage on and off.  She eventually settles on hair about six inches long (pulled straight), which is about 2-3 inches curly.  That’s long enough that she can do braids in summer to easily fit under a swim cap or if she is traveling and wants to not have to deal with it, but it is also short enough to wear as an afro or in afro puffs or wear a scarf/headband over her baby hairs for lower-maintenance days or to pin back with fancy pins when she wants to look nice for a dance or recital.  It’s been a versatile length for her, so you could start with something in-between like that and then go shorter as your DD requests.[/quote]

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