Why do some men look elsewhere when their wives are pregnant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think pregnant women are sooo sexy. I was never hornier for my wife than when she was expecting. Maybe not the last week or two, but everything before that.

Really?

That’s nice to hear.

In which way are they sexy? The fact that their carrying your child and are maternal or their physical look as in the growing bump?

Many pregnant woman don’t feel sexy due swollen feet, unwanted hair, stretch marks, etc, so do men still think they’re sexy despite their changing physical appearance?

I guess the boobs getting bigger, skin getting tighter, I don't know, the all around glow. I liked rubbing cocoa butter on her tummy to keep away the stretch marks (she didn't get them, btw, but I think that's mostly genetics). She was a little nutty once in a while, but the making up from the nuttiness was good, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the question is really "why do some men/women look elsewhere?" Full stop. Because they do it when their wives are pregnant. When their wives aren't pregnant. They do it whenever. There is always a milestone or special something (a birthday, an anniversary, a holiday ...) that can be held against the cheater by the cheated upon to express how much worse it is because the cheater cheated at that particular time (my birthday! President's Day! Our anniversary!).

But, it isn't. Because the cheater is just cheating without a thought for you at all. It isn't worse that he cheated the same week as your birthday when you were pregnant for little Larlo. It isn't. It doesn't matter that your cheater cheated in your anniversary month. It isn't of any significance that your cheater took time between Christmas and New Year's to see his girlfriend, and didn't spend that time with your family. Because none of it actually had anything to do with you, the cheated upon. It has everything to do with the selfishness of the cheater.

Most men look elsewhere to meet their sexual needs which are unmet at home. What's hard to understand about that? Easy to avoid this: maintain a sexually active marriage, doesn't need to be PIV, but SOMETHING on a regular basis, will avoid 99% of all husbands who cheat.

A tiny minuscule fraction of men who have active sex lives also cheat, but those numbers are so small not even worth discussing in this thread.

[Anonymous]

My husband is super attracted to my pregnant body and jokes we may have to get pregnant again and again. Our sex life is also in high drive during that time.

[Anonymous]

I am currently in a sexless bedroom. The most sex I had the past few years was when my DW was pregnant

[Anonymous]

Mid 40s man here and OP is correct, it happens a lot and from what I saw cheating was highest during the pregnancy and baby years.

Why? Only a guess but its the age-old combination of opportunity plus sexual frustration. Meaning, most men are then in their 30s which is prime age for men, and the many couples low point for sex and intimacy is during those years.

I am not justifying it, just explaining what I saw and the obvious explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the question is really "why do some men/women look elsewhere?" Full stop. Because they do it when their wives are pregnant. When their wives aren't pregnant. They do it whenever. There is always a milestone or special something (a birthday, an anniversary, a holiday ...) that can be held against the cheater by the cheated upon to express how much worse it is because the cheater cheated at that particular time (my birthday! President's Day! Our anniversary!).

But, it isn't. Because the cheater is just cheating without a thought for you at all. It isn't worse that he cheated the same week as your birthday when you were pregnant for little Larlo. It isn't. It doesn't matter that your cheater cheated in your anniversary month. It isn't of any significance that your cheater took time between Christmas and New Year's to see his girlfriend, and didn't spend that time with your family. Because none of it actually had anything to do with you, the cheated upon. It has everything to do with the selfishness of the cheater.

Most men look elsewhere to meet their sexual needs which are unmet at home. What's hard to understand about that? Easy to avoid this: maintain a sexually active marriage, doesn't need to be PIV, but SOMETHING on a regular basis, will avoid 99% of all husbands who cheat.

A tiny minuscule fraction of men who have active sex lives also cheat, but those numbers are so small not even worth discussing in this thread.

I think you are the poster who religiously preaches the need to declare sexless marriages open.

Anyway, while I agree that there are many men who cheat because they are sexually starved, and said men would be faithful if they had a sexually fulfilling marriage, you are deluding yourself if you think only 1% of men who cheat are the sexually fulfilled ones. Men also cheat for the thrill, variety, and all the reasons that cheating is fun regardless of moral consequences. I wonder if you have ever been immersed in the business world of attractive men who travel for work. Most of them cheat and it's statistically impossible all of them are in sexless marriages.

[Anonymous]

Most men look elsewhere to meet their sexual needs which are unmet at home. What's hard to understand about that? Easy to avoid this: maintain a sexually active marriage, doesn't need to be PIV, but SOMETHING on a regular basis, will avoid 99% of all husbands who cheat.

A tiny minuscule fraction of men who have active sex lives also cheat, but those numbers are so small not even worth discussing in this thread.

Angry sexless guy, please STOP ruining every thread with your complete bs. You say things like they are fact with no basis for them. Plenty of men/women cheat even when they are still sleeping with their spouse - many of them have admitted that on this forum. Please just step away from your keyboard and find something else to do. All you do here is piss people off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Most men look elsewhere to meet their sexual needs which are unmet at home. What's hard to understand about that? Easy to avoid this: maintain a sexually active marriage, doesn't need to be PIV, but SOMETHING on a regular basis, will avoid 99% of all husbands who cheat.

A tiny minuscule fraction of men who have active sex lives also cheat, but those numbers are so small not even worth discussing in this thread.

Angry sexless guy, please STOP ruining every thread with your complete bs. You say things like they are fact with no basis for them. Plenty of men/women cheat even when they are still sleeping with their spouse - many of them have admitted that on this forum. Please just step away from your keyboard and find something else to do. All you do here is piss people off.

+1 This idea that women should be sexually available every second of the day, regardless of their physical or emotional health, to the point of essentially allowing marital rape to avoid their partner cheating, is gross and I wish the Gods of DCUM would just ban this troll either from the site or this forum.

[Anonymous]

It's not about her body, it's about his feelings of being overwhelmed by the change in his life and wanting to escape.

[Anonymous]

I was too busy with my guts in pain with covade syndrome to think of anything so lame.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of time the DH or DW(lesbian couple) are just ignored during this time. Everyone is focused on the wife. It can be a lonely time for the other spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh messed around with someone else (not full blown sex or so he says) --the only time that he has in our marriage (or so he says)--and it happened when I was under tremendous stress at work and I was pregnant with our first. It turned out she had HPV and I had to tell the gyn I may have been exposed. Horrifically embarrasing. My guesses that this happens because 1) hormones might be making you crazy 2) prospect of kids signals the end of a certain kind of life 3) also signals that you will have to be with wife forever.

LOL

Yeah.

[Anonymous]

It’s definitely common. I’ve heard stories and known of people. Yes they love on the wives more but still want sex. Pregnancy can be taxing on a woman, so then she doesn’t want sex. Some want it more but as a generalization, yes I’ve seen men look during that time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH didn't look elsewhere, but I will say that his attraction for me went to ZERO when I was pregnant. I even thought I was a cute pregnant woman. Just my stomach grew and I glowed. He just wasn't attracted to me sexually. Still loved me a lot, but we basically became best friends for 9 months. No sex, not even once.

I think some of it is that instead of his hot wife, I was "mom" already. It happened with both pregnancies and then he was attracted to me after I gave birth and everything was back to normal.

+1

Same here. DH and I have a very active sex life. The 2 pregnancies and around 3 months post-partum is the only time in our married life when we did not have sex. I was very willing to have sex but DH was very worried that the baby would get injured or something.

He slept every night with his hand on the baby bump. He would come back from work give me a kiss and then kiss the bump. He took excellent care of me during and after the pregnancies and he was a hands on dad who changed diapers and woke up at night. In retrospect I think he saw himself more as a "dad" than my lover/DH and went in the full "protector" mode.

[Anonymous]

Madonna - whore complex.