Why do some men look elsewhere when their wives are pregnant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never see this happen! What circle do you travel in? In my case each time I got pregnant my boobs grew early on and my husband couldn’t get enough of me. At 5 months or so the positions I was most comfortable with he loved. Sure we went for 4 months or so of no PIV but he was the happy recipient of HJs and BJs. He had no need to look elsewhere.

You say this as if male sexuality can be reduced to the need for regular draining, doesn't matter by whom or where or how.

Smart wives in affair-proof lasting marriages understand the need for regular draining. Why do you fight so hard against this? Yes: men really are simple creatures.

Most men would be happily drained by their wife, their secretary AND their cleaning lady. Regular draining doesn't kill the urge for novelty or variety. There is no such thing as an affair-proof marriage. Most men, when offered a new body and freedom from consequences, will take it Many marriages with affairs also last a long time, contrary to what DCUM would lead you to believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never see this happen! What circle do you travel in? In my case each time I got pregnant my boobs grew early on and my husband couldn’t get enough of me. At 5 months or so the positions I was most comfortable with he loved. Sure we went for 4 months or so of no PIV but he was the happy recipient of HJs and BJs. He had no need to look elsewhere.

You say this as if male sexuality can be reduced to the need for regular draining, doesn't matter by whom or where or how.

Smart wives in affair-proof lasting marriages understand the need for regular draining. Why do you fight so hard against this? Yes: men really are simple creatures.

Most men would be happily drained by their wife, their secretary AND their cleaning lady. Regular draining doesn't kill the urge for novelty or variety. There is no such thing as an affair-proof marriage. Most men, when offered a new body and freedom from consequences, will take it Many marriages with affairs also last a long time, contrary to what DCUM would lead you to believe.

Are you saying many marriages where wives know about all of husband's cheating last for a long time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never see this happen! What circle do you travel in? In my case each time I got pregnant my boobs grew early on and my husband couldn’t get enough of me. At 5 months or so the positions I was most comfortable with he loved. Sure we went for 4 months or so of no PIV but he was the happy recipient of HJs and BJs. He had no need to look elsewhere.

You say this as if male sexuality can be reduced to the need for regular draining, doesn't matter by whom or where or how.

Smart wives in affair-proof lasting marriages understand the need for regular draining. Why do you fight so hard against this? Yes: men really are simple creatures.

I’ve been married 37 years and I know that continuing to have a weekly romp with my husband is a very good thing for both of us. I’d be very disappointed if he didn’t find me desirable though I do accept that I’m not the same body I was 30 years ago. But when the lights are low I can still bring it on. No marriage is affair proof but we seem to have done a good job in keeping the affair need away. And when I was pregnant so many years ago my libido was at it’s peak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most men would be happily drained by their wife, their secretary AND their cleaning lady.

Agree. but keep reading.

Anonymous wrote:Regular draining doesn't kill the urge for novelty or variety.

Agree . but keep reading.

Anonymous wrote:There is no such thing as an affair-proof marriage.

WRONG. See next question.

Anonymous wrote:Most men, when offered a new body and freedom from consequences, will take it

Only a woman could write that. Very few men (let alone married men) are EVER offered this. So let's get past that 1% outlier I mentioned before. Cheating husbands are NEVER pursued by a woman who wants to screw him. Women simply do not pursue men for sex. Cheating men are actively pursuing women to cheat with. And this takes work. For most men, significant work.

To the man who's not getting drained at home, this is a no brainer: he will absolutely do this work, guarantee, take it to the bank. To the man who just got laid yesterday at home..... there is no motivation to jump through all the ridiculous hoops required for a married man to cheat.

Anonymous wrote:Many marriages with affairs also last a long time, contrary to what DCUM would lead you to believe.

Yes of course. How do you think all those "sexless" marriages last (spoiler alert: they are not really sexless).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve seen this happen many times. Men tend to seek intimacy with other women during this time. Why do some men look elsewhere during this time? I feel sorry for their wives, carrying their child and he goes looking elsewhere behind her back. Ridiculous.

While I appreciate that most harpies on here don't want a real answer to this question, here it is: having children is scary and some men do so as a coping mechanism.

Actually, no, that's a good answer. But maybe they'd say men are babies and can't handle the idea of growing up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never see this happen! What circle do you travel in? In my case each time I got pregnant my boobs grew early on and my husband couldn’t get enough of me. At 5 months or so the positions I was most comfortable with he loved. Sure we went for 4 months or so of no PIV but he was the happy recipient of HJs and BJs. He had no need to look elsewhere.

You say this as if male sexuality can be reduced to the need for regular draining, doesn't matter by whom or where or how.

Smart wives in affair-proof lasting marriages understand the need for regular draining. Why do you fight so hard against this? Yes: men really are simple creatures.

Most men would be happily drained by their wife, their secretary AND their cleaning lady. Regular draining doesn't kill the urge for novelty or variety. There is no such thing as an affair-proof marriage. Most men, when offered a new body and freedom from consequences, will take it Many marriages with affairs also last a long time, contrary to what DCUM would lead you to believe.

Are you saying many marriages where wives know about all of husband's cheating last for a long time?

Yes, absolutely, and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men would be happily drained by their wife, their secretary AND their cleaning lady.

Agree. but keep reading.

Anonymous wrote:Regular draining doesn't kill the urge for novelty or variety.

Agree . but keep reading.

Anonymous wrote:There is no such thing as an affair-proof marriage.

WRONG. See next question.

Anonymous wrote:Most men, when offered a new body and freedom from consequences, will take it

Only a woman could write that. Very few men (let alone married men) are EVER offered this. So let's get past that 1% outlier I mentioned before. Cheating husbands are NEVER pursued by a woman who wants to screw him. Women simply do not pursue men for sex. Cheating men are actively pursuing women to cheat with. And this takes work. For most men, significant work.

To the man who's not getting drained at home, this is a no brainer: he will absolutely do this work, guarantee, take it to the bank. To the man who just got laid yesterday at home..... there is no motivation to jump through all the ridiculous hoops required for a married man to cheat.

Anonymous wrote:Many marriages with affairs also last a long time, contrary to what DCUM would lead you to believe.

Yes of course. How do you think all those "sexless" marriages last (spoiler alert: they are not really sexless).

The fact that you wrote it leads me to believe you have no idea how abundant sex offerings can be for a moderately attractive, chatty man with a pleasing personality. I travel for work every couple of months and I see men and women, both away from their families, in circumstances where contact is easy and things can be had easily because both parties are looking to get laid. It helps if that man has an attractive job with some clout but even that isn't necessary. I do want to be kind to you but you should know that when a woman decides she wants to sleep with you, she makes it very, very easy for you. If it takes significant work for you to sleep with a woman, you should know she doesn't really want to sleep with you. No, women do not pursue men for sex, but we are very good at sending signals that we are there for the asking. And many, many happily married men jump at these signals if circumstances arise where consequences are unlikely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think pregnant women are sooo sexy. I was never hornier for my wife than when she was expecting. Maybe not the last week or two, but everything before that.

Really?

That’s nice to hear.

In which way are they sexy? The fact that their carrying your child and are maternal or their physical look as in the growing bump?

Many pregnant woman don’t feel sexy due swollen feet, unwanted hair, stretch marks, etc, so do men still think they’re sexy despite their changing physical appearance?

My husband found me really appealing during pregnancy too. The person who answered this post really has no joy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think pregnant women are sooo sexy. I was never hornier for my wife than when she was expecting. Maybe not the last week or two, but everything before that.

Really?

That’s nice to hear.

In which way are they sexy? The fact that their carrying your child and are maternal or their physical look as in the growing bump?

Many pregnant woman don’t feel sexy due swollen feet, unwanted hair, stretch marks, etc, so do men still think they’re sexy despite their changing physical appearance?

My husband found me really appealing during pregnancy too. The person who answered this post really has no joy.

My libido was big, my boobs were big and my husband went bonkers. We stopped at three but we had so much fun when I was pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men would be happily drained by their wife, their secretary AND their cleaning lady.

Agree. but keep reading.

Anonymous wrote:Regular draining doesn't kill the urge for novelty or variety.

Agree . but keep reading.

Anonymous wrote:There is no such thing as an affair-proof marriage.

WRONG. See next question.

Anonymous wrote:Most men, when offered a new body and freedom from consequences, will take it

Only a woman could write that. Very few men (let alone married men) are EVER offered this. So let's get past that 1% outlier I mentioned before. Cheating husbands are NEVER pursued by a woman who wants to screw him. Women simply do not pursue men for sex. Cheating men are actively pursuing women to cheat with. And this takes work. For most men, significant work.

To the man who's not getting drained at home, this is a no brainer: he will absolutely do this work, guarantee, take it to the bank. To the man who just got laid yesterday at home..... there is no motivation to jump through all the ridiculous hoops required for a married man to cheat.

Anonymous wrote:Many marriages with affairs also last a long time, contrary to what DCUM would lead you to believe.

Yes of course. How do you think all those "sexless" marriages last (spoiler alert: they are not really sexless).

The fact that you wrote it leads me to believe you have no idea how abundant sex offerings can be for a moderately attractive, chatty man with a pleasing personality. I travel for work every couple of months and I see men and women, both away from their families, in circumstances where contact is easy and things can be had easily because both parties are looking to get laid. It helps if that man has an attractive job with some clout but even that isn't necessary. I do want to be kind to you but you should know that when a woman decides she wants to sleep with you, she makes it very, very easy for you. If it takes significant work for you to sleep with a woman, you should know she doesn't really want to sleep with you. No, women do not pursue men for sex, but we are very good at sending signals that we are there for the asking. And many, many happily married men jump at these signals if circumstances arise where consequences are unlikely.

Yes, thanks and plus 1. I mean, really, how could this dude be this dense. I am tall, maybe a 7/10 attractive, slightly overweight, dress well, and chatty and I promise you I have been propositioned flat out at least a half dozen times over the year. Like, not subtle: "so does this drink end in my hotel room?" invitation from a hotel bar while I am traveling.

And i have turned down almost all of them. I took up one when I was in a low point in my marriage. So sure, there is some correlation between men who cheat and men who are satisfied but there is also a lot with just having opportunities and there are plenty of them.

[Anonymous]

My exDH cheated on me in both pregnancies. I did not find out until I was 6 months pregnant with # 2 - too late to have an abortion.

I never turned him down for sex, and he was actively in board to have kids.

After I found out about the cheating he lied to me for a year about the nature of it. Despite kicking him out, he tried for two years to get me to get back together with him.

I’ll never in my life forgive him, and I can only hope there is a special place in hell for him.

Why did he do it? Because he cares only about his immediate needs. Because as long as he appears to be a good guy to others, he is fine living a secret life. He is deeply manipulative and very good at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, thanks and plus 1. I mean, really, how could this dude be this dense. I am tall, maybe a 7/10 attractive, slightly overweight, dress well, and chatty and I promise you I have been propositioned flat out at least a half dozen times over the year. Like, not subtle: "so does this drink end in my hotel room?" invitation from a hotel bar while I am traveling.

And i have turned down almost all of them. I took up one when I was in a low point in my marriage. So sure, there is some correlation between men who cheat and men who are satisfied but there is also a lot with just having opportunities and there are plenty of them.

Cool story bro. Man who travels a lot AND stays in hotels away from home AND dresses up AND flirts AND buys strange women drinks at bars AND is tall AND chatty AND attractive.... gets lifetime grand total of 6 propositions? Shocker: call CNN. What does this have to do with the pregnant-wife-now-husband-decides-to-cheat-scenario that OP is asking about in this thread?

Not sure if you were trying to disagree with me, but actually thanks for 100% validating the essential point that OP asked about: an otherwise faithful married man cheats when he gets no sex at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My exDH cheated on me in both pregnancies. I did not find out until I was 6 months pregnant with # 2 - too late to have an abortion.

I never turned him down for sex, and he was actively in board to have kids.

After I found out about the cheating he lied to me for a year about the nature of it. Despite kicking him out, he tried for two years to get me to get back together with him.

I’ll never in my life forgive him, and I can only hope there is a special place in hell for him.

Why did he do it? Because he cares only about his immediate needs. Because as long as he appears to be a good guy to others, he is fine living a secret life. He is deeply manipulative and very good at it.

Why was the abortion necessary? I’m not judging you or anything, but I’m just curious to what that’s got to do with your cheating ex?

[Anonymous]

I have a question kind of related and thought I’ll just ask the men here. Do men find pregnant women (besides their wives) attractive?

So if men were presented with the opportunity to have sex with a pregnant woman (i.e. carrying another man’s child), would they take it? Or are men only sexually attracted to their pregnant wives since their carrying his child?

Is sex with a pregnant women who is not your wife alluring or a turnoff?

[Anonymous]

Only pig men do that. My spouse basically worshipped me when I was pregnant. He’s normally pretty great anyway but there was nothing he would not do for me while I was carrying his children.