Why do some men look elsewhere when their wives are pregnant?

[Anonymous]

My H didn’t cheat on me but I know he was somewhat freaked out by sex when the baby was big enough for his/her movements to be felt on the outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, thanks and plus 1. I mean, really, how could this dude be this dense. I am tall, maybe a 7/10 attractive, slightly overweight, dress well, and chatty and I promise you I have been propositioned flat out at least a half dozen times over the year. Like, not subtle: "so does this drink end in my hotel room?" invitation from a hotel bar while I am traveling.

And i have turned down almost all of them. I took up one when I was in a low point in my marriage. So sure, there is some correlation between men who cheat and men who are satisfied but there is also a lot with just having opportunities and there are plenty of them.

Cool story bro. Man who travels a lot AND stays in hotels away from home AND dresses up AND flirts AND buys strange women drinks at bars AND is tall AND chatty AND attractive.... gets lifetime grand total of 6 propositions? Shocker: call CNN. What does this have to do with the pregnant-wife-now-husband-decides-to-cheat-scenario that OP is asking about in this thread?

Not sure if you were trying to disagree with me, but actually thanks for 100% validating the essential point that OP asked about: an otherwise faithful married man cheats when he gets no sex at home.

Your zeal is clouding your reading cells. He said half a dozen a year. A year that isn't over yet. And this fits my own experiences as a woman traveling for work on a regular basis.

Plus, you don't really know why his marriage was at a low point. There are all kinds of reasons for a marriage to hit a low point that do not involve no sex. I mean you generally have little sex with someone who angers or irritates you, but the core reason doesn't have to be sex.

Oh, what does this have to do with the OP's scenario? Simple. There are opportunities to cheat that present themselves. Many men will take advantage of them if there are no foreseeable consequences, and they have nothing at all to do with the state of the marriage. It's just like...I can do this so why not?

Your zeal to skip right over the 99% case (typical married man cheats BECAUSE OF infrequent sex at home) and derail the thread with outliers is amazing. PP's numbers are irrelevant. You really think OP was asking about gold club frequent fliers like PP who spend most of their lives away from home, dressed up, hanging out in hotel bars every night, buying drinks for receptive/unattached women, flirting ..... and then (shocker!) an occasional drunk woman is DTF? When a guy like that actually cheats... is anybody (even the wife at home) the least bit surprised? This isn't a normal marriage in the first place. This is NOT a case of an "opportunity to cheat that presents itself" your friend is OUT THERE WORKING IT, hitting the bars, buying drinks, flirting and HE MAKES the opportunity happen.

When a man makes statement like "low point in marriage" this means they were not having much sex (ergo, he cheats).

LOL first you write a long-ass response based on "six opportunities in a lifetime", and now that you've been shown up, his numbers are irrelevant?

You really don't understand how this works (which leads me to believe that you either aren't married or have a super boring job). This doesn't require a gold club anything. I'm a married woman. I travel for work a fair amount. I go to conferences. The setup of business travel is such that you spend lots and lots of time with colleagues, clients, vendors, current and potential contacts. You talk, you work, you chat, you go to dinner (because one has to eat you know) and it's normal to do it in company. Not a single business trip goes by where I don't feel at a certain point talking to a certain person that if I were to signal my willingness, we'd be in a hotel room in fifteen minutes. No one's working anything. I mean no one has to. It just happens, because you are in close contact all the time. And if it were to happen, it would have very little to do with anyone's marriage and how much sex one is having at home. It's just...an opportunity to pick a flower, nothing else. Then both of us would go home and have amiable sex with our spouses.

You also don't understand the endless variability of humans - including why a husband might not want to have sex with his wife even though she'd be willing - boredom, fatigue, loss of attraction, etc. Are you even married? Do you have any idea of what it's like to have sex with the same person over and over and over again?

As someone who does a couple work conferences a year, and occasional business travel in between, this PP totally gets it. Sure, if you deprive someone of sex they are more likely to cheat but sometimes it's just there and new and we are animals with healthy libidos and info have an amazing room, so....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guy, I’ve yet to figure this one out. Pregnant women are sexy. Maybe it’s just me that thinks so...

Have you read the thread? Have you been living under a rock? It's not just you. It's lots of guys.

No, I did not read every post. I’m busier than a one-legged basketball player.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would I have looked elsewhere? My wife was so hot when she was knocked up.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My exDH cheated on me in both pregnancies. I did not find out until I was 6 months pregnant with # 2 - too late to have an abortion.

I never turned him down for sex, and he was actively in board to have kids.

After I found out about the cheating he lied to me for a year about the nature of it. Despite kicking him out, he tried for two years to get me to get back together with him.

I’ll never in my life forgive him, and I can only hope there is a special place in hell for him.

Why did he do it? Because he cares only about his immediate needs. Because as long as he appears to be a good guy to others, he is fine living a secret life. He is deeply manipulative and very good at it.

Why was the abortion necessary? I’m not judging you or anything, but I’m just curious to what that’s got to do with your cheating ex?

I'm not sure why you're asking this question, especially the way you've framed it -- using the word "necessary" -- and professing to be unable to imagine what connection there is between having a cheating spouse and not wanting to carry a baby with that person to term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, thanks and plus 1. I mean, really, how could this dude be this dense. I am tall, maybe a 7/10 attractive, slightly overweight, dress well, and chatty and I promise you I have been propositioned flat out at least a half dozen times over the year. Like, not subtle: "so does this drink end in my hotel room?" invitation from a hotel bar while I am traveling.

And i have turned down almost all of them. I took up one when I was in a low point in my marriage. So sure, there is some correlation between men who cheat and men who are satisfied but there is also a lot with just having opportunities and there are plenty of them.

Cool story bro. Man who travels a lot AND stays in hotels away from home AND dresses up AND flirts AND buys strange women drinks at bars AND is tall AND chatty AND attractive.... gets lifetime grand total of 6 propositions? Shocker: call CNN. What does this have to do with the pregnant-wife-now-husband-decides-to-cheat-scenario that OP is asking about in this thread?

Not sure if you were trying to disagree with me, but actually thanks for 100% validating the essential point that OP asked about: an otherwise faithful married man cheats when he gets no sex at home.

Your zeal is clouding your reading cells. He said half a dozen a year. A year that isn't over yet. And this fits my own experiences as a woman traveling for work on a regular basis.

Plus, you don't really know why his marriage was at a low point. There are all kinds of reasons for a marriage to hit a low point that do not involve no sex. I mean you generally have little sex with someone who angers or irritates you, but the core reason doesn't have to be sex.

Oh, what does this have to do with the OP's scenario? Simple. There are opportunities to cheat that present themselves. Many men will take advantage of them if there are no foreseeable consequences, and they have nothing at all to do with the state of the marriage. It's just like...I can do this so why not?

Your zeal to skip right over the 99% case (typical married man cheats BECAUSE OF infrequent sex at home) and derail the thread with outliers is amazing. PP's numbers are irrelevant. You really think OP was asking about gold club frequent fliers like PP who spend most of their lives away from home, dressed up, hanging out in hotel bars every night, buying drinks for receptive/unattached women, flirting ..... and then (shocker!) an occasional drunk woman is DTF? When a guy like that actually cheats... is anybody (even the wife at home) the least bit surprised? This isn't a normal marriage in the first place. This is NOT a case of an "opportunity to cheat that presents itself" your friend is OUT THERE WORKING IT, hitting the bars, buying drinks, flirting and HE MAKES the opportunity happen.

When a man makes statement like "low point in marriage" this means they were not having much sex (ergo, he cheats).

LOL first you write a long-ass response based on "six opportunities in a lifetime", and now that you've been shown up, his numbers are irrelevant?

You really don't understand how this works (which leads me to believe that you either aren't married or have a super boring job). This doesn't require a gold club anything. I'm a married woman. I travel for work a fair amount. I go to conferences. The setup of business travel is such that you spend lots and lots of time with colleagues, clients, vendors, current and potential contacts. You talk, you work, you chat, you go to dinner (because one has to eat you know) and it's normal to do it in company. Not a single business trip goes by where I don't feel at a certain point talking to a certain person that if I were to signal my willingness, we'd be in a hotel room in fifteen minutes. No one's working anything. I mean no one has to. It just happens, because you are in close contact all the time. And if it were to happen, it would have very little to do with anyone's marriage and how much sex one is having at home. It's just...an opportunity to pick a flower, nothing else. Then both of us would go home and have amiable sex with our spouses.

You also don't understand the endless variability of humans - including why a husband might not want to have sex with his wife even though she'd be willing - boredom, fatigue, loss of attraction, etc. Are you even married? Do you have any idea of what it's like to have sex with the same person over and over and over again?

As someone who does a couple work conferences a year, and occasional business travel in between, this PP totally gets it. Sure, if you deprive someone of sex they are more likely to cheat but sometimes it's just there and new and we are animals with healthy libidos and info have an amazing room, so....

I recently retired as CEO of a good size company and I traveled extensively for many years. Customer calls, conferences, name it. I’m above average in looks and in good shape and that plus my job gave me plenty of opportunities. On many occasions during the social time it was pretty clear to me that if I wanted to have some private fun I could and these were women who were married or single. But being a public company CEO I would have been an idiot to put my job at risk. But beyond that I was happily married and our sex life was far from boring. The thought of sex with someone else is certainly appealing but blowing up your career and your life for it is nuts.

[Anonymous]

Maybe because when selfish assholeness meets the sense of heightened virility that comes from being a baby-daddy, the self centered asshole goes looking for more of what self centered assholes want.

[Anonymous]

Maybe because they do not like pregnant women? Maybe pornstars, east european escorts, and b grade models are accessible to them but educated and classy women are not? Maybe they are whoremongers? I don't know.

What do you think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think pregnant women are sooo sexy. I was never hornier for my wife than when she was expecting. Maybe not the last week or two, but everything before that.

I think pregnant women are so sexy too! It brings out some kind of primal attraction in me.