Sibling refuses to send item from family home WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. A lot of posters are making up a lot of stories in thier heads to make the OP evil.

Op, my guess is your sister lost or broke the statute or never had it. After three years, it is time to ask her directly if she has it and forgive her if she does not.

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You think because you chose to be far away from family, including you aging mother, that everyone should bend over backwards to get you what you want? You didn't care enough to help your siblings with the house, but you care this much about one statue? I think you're too late for any advice here. You should have done better before.

Wow you are really mean PP. (Not OP BTW.) I'm so sick of how mean people are. OP said it's the ONLY THING she had of her childhood home. People like you suck PP.

People like this OP are the ones who suck. As a daughter who just very recently cleaned out her 90-year-old father's home to move him into assisted living, then two days later got a blood-curdling call from him that my brother just dropped dead in front of him, reading posts like OP's disgusts me. How dare she complain, three years after her mother's death, after having done nothing to help her siblings, that her sister won't mail her something. Please.

What does that have to do with anything? You have no idea why OP wasn't around when her parents passed away.

Some people are kind and loving throughout their lives, even in difficult circumstsances, and some -- aren't. You cleared out your father's home. Does that mean your siblings don't have any love for him, or that your father doesn't have any love for THEM? They still are his children and their emotional claims to childhood items is just as valid as yours. Again, you are mean, PP. Nothing more than that.

Actually, my siblings were there as well (right before the one died unexpectedly at the age of 50 of course). Because it was important to us all. It wasn't important enough to OP to be there. Even if she has legitimate reasons, it's not right to put the burden on siblings then bug them about an object. I'm not a mean person, but I know how to prioritize and have no patience for the entitled.

Huh? I was in Op's shoes and couldn't be there when it was time to clear out the house. I had kids in school on two different schedules in two different school systems. It was sort of crazy and I had to prioritize being their for my kids. Maybe Op had similar considerations or a sick spouse or whatever. Honestly, I was just grateful that my siblings had more flexibility to help out because if it had all fallen on my plate, I would have had to hand it over to an estate salesperson. There was simply no way for me to be two places at one time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You think because you chose to be far away from family, including you aging mother, that everyone should bend over backwards to get you what you want? You didn't care enough to help your siblings with the house, but you care this much about one statue? I think you're too late for any advice here. You should have done better before.

Why is this triggering so much aggression in you?

[Anonymous]

DCUM posters suck... not all of them, but most do. They are so sad and bored with their lives (that must be utterly miserable) that end up taking it out on poor posters like OP. I am sorry OP. I am sorry you lost your parents and that things might be a little weird with your siblings. I understand you wanting something from your old house. I hope you can just one day talk to your sister and straighten everything up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. A lot of posters are making up a lot of stories in thier heads to make the OP evil.

Op, my guess is your sister lost or broke the statute or never had it. After three years, it is time to ask her directly if she has it and forgive her if she does not.

+1

+2

+3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM posters suck... not all of them, but most do. They are so sad and bored with their lives (that must be utterly miserable) that end up taking it out on poor posters like OP. I am sorry OP. I am sorry you lost your parents and that things might be a little weird with your siblings. I understand you wanting something from your old house. I hope you can just one day talk to your sister and straighten everything up

+1 ty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. A lot of posters are making up a lot of stories in thier heads to make the OP evil.

Op, my guess is your sister lost or broke the statute or never had it. After three years, it is time to ask her directly if she has it and forgive her if she does not.

+1

+2

+3

+4

Your sister should be honest with you, OP. My friend was in a similar situation, but always flew her mom in to visit her - each kids' birthday, Mother's day, and either Thanksgiving or Christmas each year. While the mom lived with the sister for a few years, the sister was hostile with the rest of the family. I saw it in action, it wasn't pretty, the sister definitely had a chip on her shoulder. It got to be that my friend did not want the jealous sister around her kids, because it was just too much.

Apparently, the sister was always that way - "poor little me" martyr, though the parents gave the sister everything they had. They weren't rich, but they had a nice house, and the mom only wore real gold jewelry, never costume jewelry, for example. My friend went with her dad to pick out the gold jewelry, from their special high end jeweler, every mother's day, mother's birthday, and Christmas, so her mom had amassed quite an impressive collection over the decades, and filled her beautiful high boy Lane brand cedar hope chest with gorgeous jewelry and family photos. When the mom died, all my friend wanted was certain items whose value was worthless to anyone else (ex; photos).

The sister had always wanted to be an only child - that's how spoiled she was - and apparently was a mean drunk, abusive to the mother who relied on her. The sister had a will drawn up with very deliberate "token" things left to everyone else in the family - to a point where it was clearly meant to insult, exclude and minimize everyone else in the family, and their relationship with their mother. Meanwhile, the sister took everything - the jewelry, the grandmother's jewelry, proceeds from the house, and a life insurance policy that the mother paid for. It was all very blatant and disgusting, so my friend just decided not to talk to her awful selfish sister anymore. Because, what was the point?

When the mom died, the mom's best friend, who had heard all the stories over the years, brought the truth to light. Apparently, the mother didn't want everyone to know how bad my friend's sister had spiraled out of control, but protected her to her own detriment. The mom's friend ripped into the sister, as was well deserved and long overdue.

Caretakers aren't always wonderful "saints", sometimes they are abusive, selfish, self centered and self serving to the end. Hopefully that is not your family's situation. If your sister is the executor, self appointed or otherwise, you should still get something that you want from the estate - not junk. You are one of your mother's children, you had your own relationship with your mother, and you matter. No one gets to tell you otherwise. Frankly, some of the PPs seem to be projecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM posters suck... not all of them, but most do. They are so sad and bored with their lives (that must be utterly miserable) that end up taking it out on poor posters like OP. I am sorry OP. I am sorry you lost your parents and that things might be a little weird with your siblings. I understand you wanting something from your old house. I hope you can just one day talk to your sister and straighten everything up

+1 ty

+2

OP, now you know your siblings' true colors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You think because you chose to be far away from family, including you aging mother, that everyone should bend over backwards to get you what you want? You didn't care enough to help your siblings with the house, but you care this much about one statue? I think you're too late for any advice here. You should have done better before.

Wow you are really mean PP. (Not OP BTW.) I'm so sick of how mean people are. OP said it's the ONLY THING she had of her childhood home. People like you suck PP.

People like this OP are the ones who suck. As a daughter who just very recently cleaned out her 90-year-old father's home to move him into assisted living, then two days later got a blood-curdling call from him that my brother just dropped dead in front of him, reading posts like OP's disgusts me. How dare she complain, three years after her mother's death, after having done nothing to help her siblings, that her sister won't mail her something. Please.

Or, apparently visiting her sister soon after the passing to see how she’s doing after dealing with the entire estate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You think because you chose to be far away from family, including you aging mother, that everyone should bend over backwards to get you what you want? You didn't care enough to help your siblings with the house, but you care this much about one statue? I think you're too late for any advice here. You should have done better before.

Wow you are really mean PP. (Not OP BTW.) I'm so sick of how mean people are. OP said it's the ONLY THING she had of her childhood home. People like you suck PP.

People like this OP are the ones who suck. As a daughter who just very recently cleaned out her 90-year-old father's home to move him into assisted living, then two days later got a blood-curdling call from him that my brother just dropped dead in front of him, reading posts like OP's disgusts me. How dare she complain, three years after her mother's death, after having done nothing to help her siblings, that her sister won't mail her something. Please.

Or, apparently visiting her sister soon after the passing to see how she’s doing after dealing with the entire estate.

Yeah but the sister might be the difficult "control everything" but IRL control nothing type, which makes anything difficult, really. You don't know OP's entire situation. Not sure why some PPs are acting like they know the whole picture because that attitude discredits them.

[Anonymous]

OP - go get it yourself. Or forget about it. Don't assume it's going to be yours, in perfect safe

Remember ---- relationships are more important than "things"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - go get it yourself. Or forget about it. Don't assume it's going to be yours, in perfect safe

Remember ---- relationships are more important than "things"

I don't know if this is the case here. Maybe the sister is an extremely difficult person. Why does the sister get to call the shots? Maybe OP and the mother were very close, and the sister didn't like that.

[Anonymous]

I don't think that you can show up on your sister's doorstep demanding that she invite you in for Christmas dinner and the opportunity to look through boxes in her storage areas. It's her house and everything inside of it belongs to her now.

If she has the statue she will either find it and give it to you or she won't. At the end of the day, it is only a statue.

Honestly, she probably doesn't know if she has it or not. It's one item out of a house full of stuff...I'm sure that going through it all was overwhelming!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that you can show up on your sister's doorstep demanding that she invite you in for Christmas dinner and the opportunity to look through boxes in her storage areas. It's her house and everything inside of it belongs to her now.

If she has the statue she will either find it and give it to you or she won't. At the end of the day, it is only a statue.

Honestly, she probably doesn't know if she has it or not. It's one item out of a house full of stuff...I'm sure that going through it all was overwhelming!

PP here (with the friend and her sister situation). This reminds me, the sister actually tried to get my friend to travel to her and proceed through endless boxes of worthless crap, that the sister had thrown in storage because she didn't want it in her house. The sister was actually too lazy to go through the items and discard, so the sister ended up not paying the storage bill and just leaving everything behind. Meanwhile, my friend has a family and a job to take care of, while the sister drinks all day, starting first thing in the morning. This is the type of person the sister is, and I doubt that some shady executors are that different. OP, do you trust this site of yours?

[Anonymous]

Sorry about this OP. I think something similar will happen to me knowing my own family dynamic. If I were you, I'd let it all go. And then buy a new statue that reminds me of my mother to grace my home in her honor. It's the memory you want to preserve, not the statue. Good luck and happy holidays!