Sibling refuses to send item from family home WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Something happened to the statue or your sibling didn't actually get it and is embarrassed to fess up. Alternatively, they are just really pissed at you for not being there and this is their passive aggressive way of letting you know.

[Anonymous]

OP, that’s sad, but I think you have to accept that you’re not getting the statue any time soon, if ever. I agree with the others who think your sister forgot to save it. Maybe your brother can send you a piece of the art (how many does he have? Is it valuable?). Or, if he refuses maybe he can take good-quality photos and you can hang prints.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You think because you chose to be far away from family, including you aging mother, that everyone should bend over backwards to get you what you want? You didn't care enough to help your siblings with the house, but you care this much about one statue? I think you're too late for any advice here. You should have done better before.

Wow you are really mean PP. (Not OP BTW.) I'm so sick of how mean people are. OP said it's the ONLY THING she had of her childhood home. People like you suck PP.

People like this OP are the ones who suck. As a daughter who just very recently cleaned out her 90-year-old father's home to move him into assisted living, then two days later got a blood-curdling call from him that my brother just dropped dead in front of him, reading posts like OP's disgusts me. How dare she complain, three years after her mother's death, after having done nothing to help her siblings, that her sister won't mail her something. Please.

What does that have to do with anything? You have no idea why OP wasn't around when her parents passed away.

Some people are kind and loving throughout their lives, even in difficult circumstsances, and some -- aren't. You cleared out your father's home. Does that mean your siblings don't have any love for him, or that your father doesn't have any love for THEM? They still are his children and their emotional claims to childhood items is just as valid as yours. Again, you are mean, PP. Nothing more than that.

[Anonymous]

OP, if it’s that important, then find a courier that services the area you live in, as well as where your sister is. Prepay for the statue and any packing material. Send the box and tag to her house. Let her know you’re doing it, to allow for pickup at her house.. all she needs to do is pack it.

I really do think that the statue is gone.

[Anonymous]

[guardian]mk

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You think because you chose to be far away from family, including you aging mother, that everyone should bend over backwards to get you what you want? You didn't care enough to help your siblings with the house, but you care this much about one statue? I think you're too late for any advice here. You should have done better before.

Wow you are really mean PP. (Not OP BTW.) I'm so sick of how mean people are. OP said it's the ONLY THING she had of her childhood home. People like you suck PP.

People like this OP are the ones who suck. As a daughter who just very recently cleaned out her 90-year-old father's home to move him into assisted living, then two days later got a blood-curdling call from him that my brother just dropped dead in front of him, reading posts like OP's disgusts me. How dare she complain, three years after her mother's death, after having done nothing to help her siblings, that her sister won't mail her something. Please.

What does that have to do with anything? You have no idea why OP wasn't around when her parents passed away.

Some people are kind and loving throughout their lives, even in difficult circumstsances, and some -- aren't. You cleared out your father's home. Does that mean your siblings don't have any love for him, or that your father doesn't have any love for THEM? They still are his children and their emotional claims to childhood items is just as valid as yours. Again, you are mean, PP. Nothing more than that.

Or PP, and a NP, but you also don’t know the circumstances. If siblings had to care for their parents in OPs absence, there might be a lot of resentment built up. It sounds like sister had the brunt of the clean up, and “orders” from the other siblings. I wonder if she was doing most of the end of life care alone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You think because you chose to be far away from family, including you aging mother, that everyone should bend over backwards to get you what you want? You didn't care enough to help your siblings with the house, but you care this much about one statue? I think you're too late for any advice here. You should have done better before.

Ultimately it's this, Op. You may have had legitimate reasons why you couldn't be there to help out but the bottom line is you were not there. My guess is the statue is probably packed away somewhere and your sibling is too busy to try to find it now for you. It would have been nice for your sibling to hold it out for you and see that it got to you but...your sibling had other things going on.

I know that when my parent downsized fairly suddenly I couldn't just leave my kids and shelve my life to go put my dibs on family heirlooms. The siblings who could help were rewarded for doing so.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I spent 3 years taking care of my mother before she passed. I ran out of leave to travel to another state and then posted away. It was a difficult situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go visit her.

+1

I would schedule one year to go and spend the holidays with your sister. Stay in a hotel to avoid adding extra work on her. After you've discussed coming to visit for the holidays, plans are made, reservations are made, then mention that you would like to get the statue while you visit and you can help find it.

Unlike the others who think she lost it or doesn't have it, my guess is that it's packed up in a box in storage (like a crowded attic or basement). She doesn't know which box it's in and she's not sure where in the storage/junk area that it is. And she doesn't want to commit hours to dig through the boxes and storage to find it. So, if that's the case, tell her you don't mind setting aside a few hours during the trip on a day when there is nothign else planned and going through your mother's old boxes in storage and looking for the statue. Who knows, you might find something else that she salvaged and forgot about that you might want and she might be willing to part with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I spent 3 years taking care of my mother before she passed. I ran out of leave to travel to another state and then posted away. It was a difficult situation.

I'm sorry. Hopefully one day whomever has he statue will find it and send it to you. My guess is it's in a box of many boxes stacked high in their garage or shoved back in a closet somewhere.

They literally don't have the time to sort through things to find it for you. Be glad that they were able to be there to take care of clearing out the family home - it is A LOT of work to do that.

[Anonymous]

Well we can hardly know if your sister has the statue or not. You KNOW her. Does she lie? Is she lazy? You must have a clue.

[Anonymous]

She probably forgot and got rid of it and is now like "ohh crap..."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You think because you chose to be far away from family, including you aging mother, that everyone should bend over backwards to get you what you want? You didn't care enough to help your siblings with the house, but you care this much about one statue? I think you're too late for any advice here. You should have done better before.

Wow you are really mean PP. (Not OP BTW.) I'm so sick of how mean people are. OP said it's the ONLY THING she had of her childhood home. People like you suck PP.

People like this OP are the ones who suck. As a daughter who just very recently cleaned out her 90-year-old father's home to move him into assisted living, then two days later got a blood-curdling call from him that my brother just dropped dead in front of him, reading posts like OP's disgusts me. How dare she complain, three years after her mother's death, after having done nothing to help her siblings, that her sister won't mail her something. Please.

What does that have to do with anything? You have no idea why OP wasn't around when her parents passed away.

Some people are kind and loving throughout their lives, even in difficult circumstsances, and some -- aren't. You cleared out your father's home. Does that mean your siblings don't have any love for him, or that your father doesn't have any love for THEM? They still are his children and their emotional claims to childhood items is just as valid as yours. Again, you are mean, PP. Nothing more than that.

Actually, my siblings were there as well (right before the one died unexpectedly at the age of 50 of course). Because it was important to us all. It wasn't important enough to OP to be there. Even if she has legitimate reasons, it's not right to put the burden on siblings then bug them about an object. I'm not a mean person, but I know how to prioritize and have no patience for the entitled.

[Anonymous]

Wow. A lot of posters are making up a lot of stories in thier heads to make the OP evil.

Op, my guess is your sister lost or broke the statute or never had it. After three years, it is time to ask her directly if she has it and forgive her if she does not.

[Anonymous]

What are the excuses? What is your relationship like with her generally?

Either go to her house and get it or let it go.

She probably doesn't have it or it's buried somewhere and she can't be bothered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. A lot of posters are making up a lot of stories in thier heads to make the OP evil.

Op, my guess is your sister lost or broke the statute or never had it. After three years, it is time to ask her directly if she has it and forgive her if she does not.

+1