If you’re a minority or parent to a mixed race child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We chose a racially diverse area but not necessarily the race that reflects our family. I want DD to see other children of color -- which color isn't as important as her not being the ONLY child of color.

I feel the same way. I am South Asian American and DH is Caucasian and I care more that there is representation of POCs than exactly the mix our kid is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Asian, DH is white, one kid is full Asian and the other is half-Asian, half white. We definitely looked for a school or area that was diverse racially, as well as somewhat economically. We landed in the West Springfield HS pyramid (kids are upper elementary currently). Their school isn't as racially diverse as others listed here but is 55% white, 45% non-white.

Growing up, I was one of 3 Asian kids in school and it was awful.

Same for my nieces. They absolutely hated it. They eventually moved when the youngest was still in HS to a school with way more Asian American students, and she was much happier (including with a more challenging school - more AP classes, etc.).

DH and I were both token Asians and we didn’t mind. I had a diverse group of friends in college and grad school but the friends I tend to keep in touch with are Asian. Pretty much all our professional colleagues are white so we are still token Asians.

But others do mind, and if OP is posting about it, she minds.

[Anonymous]

Both I & DH are Asians, and DH grew up here. DH grew up in mostly all white area, and he had some identity crisis growing up. We currently live in a diverse area where white is 50%, and there are many Asian. We have asian supermarkets, asian restaurants etc in the area, easy to shop & live around in the area.

We are minority, but I feel better & feel safe when I live in a community & school district that has many asians. It means good sign to me. Asians tend to move to a good neighborhood district.

[Anonymous]

If you move to upper NW, there will be enough mixed kids, especially half Asian, half white, that your kids will not feel like lonely only's. I was the only Asian in my elementary and middle school years, and that sucked, but being one of five in your class of 25 is not bad. My kids have never felt like they don't fit in, and many of their friends are also mixed-race. In fact, they really don't see mixed-race families as unusual or something worth commenting on. I would actually think that in some of the suburbs with large Asian populations that they would feel more "lonely" because the Asian kids will be "full" Asians, and there will be fewer mixed kids. The half Asian, half white kids at my high school (with decent sized Asian population but almost no mixed kids) always felt like they were not Asian enough to be Asian and not white enough to be white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you move to upper NW, there will be enough mixed kids, especially half Asian, half white, that your kids will not feel like lonely only's. I was the only Asian in my elementary and middle school years, and that sucked, but being one of five in your class of 25 is not bad. My kids have never felt like they don't fit in, and many of their friends are also mixed-race. In fact, they really don't see mixed-race families as unusual or something worth commenting on. I would actually think that in some of the suburbs with large Asian populations that they would feel more "lonely" because the Asian kids will be "full" Asians, and there will be fewer mixed kids. The half Asian, half white kids at my high school (with decent sized Asian population but almost no mixed kids) always felt like they were not Asian enough to be Asian and not white enough to be white.

[b]

Yeah, my half Asian/White daughter comes home saying that she wants to learn a different language and that she wants to take ESOL classes like her friends. lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in DCPS. The only thing important to me (at the time) was that my daughter go to a good school. She goes to a WOTP school and has been one of maybe 2-3 black kids in the class for the last 5 years. It wasn't an issue until she asked if she could go to a school with more black kids. She says no one has been mean to her, but she feels like she doesn't fit in. It's a tough thing to resolve. I haven't found any solutions yet.

They may not be mean but I can guarantee they are doing things to exclude her. I was one of only a few black kids at an all white school and it was not a good experience. Get her into a more diverse school before her self esteem ends up damaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you move to upper NW, there will be enough mixed kids, especially half Asian, half white, that your kids will not feel like lonely only's. I was the only Asian in my elementary and middle school years, and that sucked, but being one of five in your class of 25 is not bad. My kids have never felt like they don't fit in, and many of their friends are also mixed-race. In fact, they really don't see mixed-race families as unusual or something worth commenting on. I would actually think that in some of the suburbs with large Asian populations that they would feel more "lonely" because the Asian kids will be "full" Asians, and there will be fewer mixed kids. The half Asian, half white kids at my high school (with decent sized Asian population but almost no mixed kids) always felt like they were not Asian enough to be Asian and not white enough to be white.

? Neither of my half Asian/white kids have remotely stated this, and we live in Rockville. There are *several* biracial children here, of all kinds. "I would actually think..." .. you thought wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you move to upper NW, there will be enough mixed kids, especially half Asian, half white, that your kids will not feel like lonely only's. I was the only Asian in my elementary and middle school years, and that sucked, but being one of five in your class of 25 is not bad. My kids have never felt like they don't fit in, and many of their friends are also mixed-race. In fact, they really don't see mixed-race families as unusual or something worth commenting on. I would actually think that in some of the suburbs with large Asian populations that they would feel more "lonely" because the Asian kids will be "full" Asians, and there will be fewer mixed kids. The half Asian, half white kids at my high school (with decent sized Asian population but almost no mixed kids) always felt like they were not Asian enough to be Asian and not white enough to be white.

? Neither of my half Asian/white kids have remotely stated this, and we live in Rockville. There are *several* biracial children here, of all kinds. "I would actually think..." .. you thought wrong.

The mixed Asian kids I know are very white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in DCPS. The only thing important to me (at the time) was that my daughter go to a good school. She goes to a WOTP school and has been one of maybe 2-3 black kids in the class for the last 5 years. It wasn't an issue until she asked if she could go to a school with more black kids. She says no one has been mean to her, but she feels like she doesn't fit in. It's a tough thing to resolve. I haven't found any solutions yet.

They may not be mean but I can guarantee they are doing things to exclude her. I was one of only a few black kids at an all white school and it was not a good experience. Get her into a more diverse school before her self esteem ends up damaged.

So it seems like specific diversity demographics is important in the situation of OP and the kids should be in schools that have a more significant Asian or mixed population than 5%

For the PP’s black daughter, isn’t 3 kids in a class around 10% black or are class sizes in WOTP DC larger than 30?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in DCPS. The only thing important to me (at the time) was that my daughter go to a good school. She goes to a WOTP school and has been one of maybe 2-3 black kids in the class for the last 5 years. It wasn't an issue until she asked if she could go to a school with more black kids. She says no one has been mean to her, but she feels like she doesn't fit in. It's a tough thing to resolve. I haven't found any solutions yet.

They may not be mean but I can guarantee they are doing things to exclude her. I was one of only a few black kids at an all white school and it was not a good experience. Get her into a more diverse school before her self esteem ends up damaged.

I can guarantee you that you have no idea about what this girl is experiencing or not.

Stop projecting your own problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you move to upper NW, there will be enough mixed kids, especially half Asian, half white, that your kids will not feel like lonely only's. I was the only Asian in my elementary and middle school years, and that sucked, but being one of five in your class of 25 is not bad. My kids have never felt like they don't fit in, and many of their friends are also mixed-race. In fact, they really don't see mixed-race families as unusual or something worth commenting on. I would actually think that in some of the suburbs with large Asian populations that they would feel more "lonely" because the Asian kids will be "full" Asians, and there will be fewer mixed kids. The half Asian, half white kids at my high school (with decent sized Asian population but almost no mixed kids) always felt like they were not Asian enough to be Asian and not white enough to be white.

? Neither of my half Asian/white kids have remotely stated this, and we live in Rockville. There are *several* biracial children here, of all kinds. "I would actually think..." .. you thought wrong.

The mixed Asian kids I know are very white.

mine are not, I assure you, and the ones I have seen don't look white, either. Most half white/asian kids I have come across look mostly asian. I have two close friends who also have half asian/white children. I used to live an area out west where this combo was a dime a dozen. Most of the kids looked more asian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you move to upper NW, there will be enough mixed kids, especially half Asian, half white, that your kids will not feel like lonely only's. I was the only Asian in my elementary and middle school years, and that sucked, but being one of five in your class of 25 is not bad. My kids have never felt like they don't fit in, and many of their friends are also mixed-race. In fact, they really don't see mixed-race families as unusual or something worth commenting on. I would actually think that in some of the suburbs with large Asian populations that they would feel more "lonely" because the Asian kids will be "full" Asians, and there will be fewer mixed kids. The half Asian, half white kids at my high school (with decent sized Asian population but almost no mixed kids) always felt like they were not Asian enough to be Asian and not white enough to be white.

? Neither of my half Asian/white kids have remotely stated this, and we live in Rockville. There are *several* biracial children here, of all kinds. "I would actually think..." .. you thought wrong.

The mixed Asian kids I know are very white.

mine are not, I assure you, and the ones I have seen don't look white, either. Most half white/asian kids I have come across look mostly asian. I have two close friends who also have half asian/white children. I used to live an area out west where this combo was a dime a dozen. Most of the kids looked more asian.

I meant act white. My kids are Asian American. DH and I both grew up here in the U.S. My kids are also very American. Most of their friends are white. The mixed half white half Asian kids we know often have an Asian American mother and white American father. The kids are very American and white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We chose a racially diverse area but not necessarily the race that reflects our family. I want DD to see other children of color -- which color isn't as important as her not being the ONLY child of color.

I feel the same way. I am South Asian American and DH is Caucasian and I care more that there is representation of POCs than exactly the mix our kid is.

We were similar in that we were interested in areas that had a lot of bi/multi racial families. The specific mix didn't matter and the dominant "full" race was less important. What was important for us was feeling normal as a family unit and not standing out as an anomaly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We chose a racially diverse area but not necessarily the race that reflects our family. I want DD to see other children of color -- which color isn't as important as her not being the ONLY child of color.

I feel the same way. I am South Asian American and DH is Caucasian and I care more that there is representation of POCs than exactly the mix our kid is.

Same, I am also South Asian and my husband white, and since there aren't a ton of South Asian/white mixed kids out there anyway, I'm more focused on POCs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you move to upper NW, there will be enough mixed kids, especially half Asian, half white, that your kids will not feel like lonely only's. I was the only Asian in my elementary and middle school years, and that sucked, but being one of five in your class of 25 is not bad. My kids have never felt like they don't fit in, and many of their friends are also mixed-race. In fact, they really don't see mixed-race families as unusual or something worth commenting on. I would actually think that in some of the suburbs with large Asian populations that they would feel more "lonely" because the Asian kids will be "full" Asians, and there will be fewer mixed kids. The half Asian, half white kids at my high school (with decent sized Asian population but almost no mixed kids) always felt like they were not Asian enough to be Asian and not white enough to be white.

? Neither of my half Asian/white kids have remotely stated this, and we live in Rockville. There are *several* biracial children here, of all kinds. "I would actually think..." .. you thought wrong.

The mixed Asian kids I know are very white.

mine are not, I assure you, and the ones I have seen don't look white, either. Most half white/asian kids I have come across look mostly asian. I have two close friends who also have half asian/white children. I used to live an area out west where this combo was a dime a dozen. Most of the kids looked more asian.

I meant act white. My kids are Asian American. DH and I both grew up here in the U.S. My kids are also very American. Most of their friends are white. The mixed half white half Asian kids we know often have an Asian American mother and white American father. The kids are very American and white.

I don't think you understand what "acting white" means.