If you’re a minority or parent to a mixed race child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved from North Arlington to Fairfax County (to a lower rated school) because I did not want my mixed (south asian/white) children being the only non-white kids in their classes (and yes, North Arlington is VERY white). Been there, done that and I hated being one of three non-white kids in my class. I wanted my children to be part of an inclusive, diverse school. Our Fairfax County school is maybe 30% Asian/South Asian, 30% Hispanic, 30% White and 10% African-American/African/Mixed/Other. My kids have friends of all races/colors/religions, they have several other mixed-race friends, and they are very happy.

I’m mixed race and so is my husband, and North Arlington is not SO white that my kids have ever been “onlies.” It’s frustrating to me that people complain about the lack of diversity, but then people of color don’t ever move here. I mean, how will it ever change if people make the same decision you made? I understand your choice and don’t judge you for it, but I think we could easily tip this area to be more diverse if a few more folks moved in. It wouldn’t take much, and a lot of young families with one Asian parent have moved into my neighborhood lately, so I’m hopeful for change.

[Anonymous]

I'm white, and my son is biracial. Even before I had him, I chose to live places that were diverse because I prefer the feel of the neighborhood. Now that I have a child, it is even more important to me that he is exposed to different cultures, languages, races. About half the kids on his soccer team are "mixed" and I love that its the norm and not a novelty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much does this factor into what neighborhood you live in and what school you choose? I live in an area of NOVA that has a good number of Hispanics, Asians/East Asians and mixed kids, and my child is mixed Asian and white. I keep going back and forth on whether to find a house here or look in NW DC. I looked at Wilson High, Deal, Murch demographics and the numbers are more like 30-50%+ black and Hispanic and only 5% Asian and/or 2-5% mixed race. If you are a minority parent or parent to a mixed (especially Asian/other race mix), how did this factor into your decision making? Growing up in a white area myself, it was important for me to find an area that was racially and socioeconomically diverse, but I go back and forth on whether the specific kind of racial diversity is important. What are your thoughts? I hated being only one of 2 Asian kids in my school, so that is where I am coming from.

We are looking at purchasing a home and settling down and I would love to hear other opinions.

I'd find a school with great academics and at least 10% Asian Am representation. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much does this factor into what neighborhood you live in and what school you choose? I live in an area of NOVA that has a good number of Hispanics, Asians/East Asians and mixed kids, and my child is mixed Asian and white. I keep going back and forth on whether to find a house here or look in NW DC. I looked at Wilson High, Deal, Murch demographics and the numbers are more like 30-50%+ black and Hispanic and only 5% Asian and/or 2-5% mixed race. If you are a minority parent or parent to a mixed (especially Asian/other race mix), how did this factor into your decision making? Growing up in a white area myself, it was important for me to find an area that was racially and socioeconomically diverse, but I go back and forth on whether the specific kind of racial diversity is important. What are your thoughts? I hated being only one of 2 Asian kids in my school, so that is where I am coming from.

We are looking at purchasing a home and settling down and I would love to hear other opinions.

I'd find a school with great academics and at least 10% Asian Am representation. That's it.[/quote

I'm Asian and DH is White, we have 2 DD's and used to live in NOVA and now live in the suburbs in a majority upperclass white neighborhood in a different state. I miss the diversity of the NOVA area terribly and when our kids were in preschool there were at least 2-3 other half Asian/White children in their classes as well. (But my experience was that the mothers who were Asian saw me as competition rather than seeing the connections/similarities) So although nice for my kid to not feel like the only, it didn't really translate to anything during that time period we lived there in terms of community. However, as usual there are pros and cons with every place. I also hated being the only Asian growing up but it also made me kind of feel special.

[Anonymous]

Half Asian half white kids often look Hispanic. My one friend has 3 kids. 2 of her kids look very Asian but her daughter looks Latino. They go to a diverse school (30% Hispanic, 20% black). All 3 kids have plenty of friends and not a problem at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Half Asian half white kids often look Hispanic. My one friend has 3 kids. 2 of her kids look very Asian but her daughter looks Latino. They go to a diverse school (30% Hispanic, 20% black). All 3 kids have plenty of friends and not a problem at all.

This is true, I was surprised the first time I heard it but brown hair/brown eyes. lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not want my child as the only or one of a few regardless of what race I was and yes, I would take it into consideration.

I bet you're white.

[Anonymous]

My kids are Asian in a 60% white, 10% Asian school. They hate being a minority, but at this point they are also so attached to their friends and neighbors that moving is out of the question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved from North Arlington to Fairfax County (to a lower rated school) because I did not want my mixed (south asian/white) children being the only non-white kids in their classes (and yes, North Arlington is VERY white). Been there, done that and I hated being one of three non-white kids in my class. I wanted my children to be part of an inclusive, diverse school. Our Fairfax County school is maybe 30% Asian/South Asian, 30% Hispanic, 30% White and 10% African-American/African/Mixed/Other. My kids have friends of all races/colors/religions, they have several other mixed-race friends, and they are very happy.

I’m mixed race and so is my husband, and North Arlington is not SO white that my kids have ever been “onlies.” It’s frustrating to me that people complain about the lack of diversity, but then people of color don’t ever move here. I mean, how will it ever change if people make the same decision you made? I understand your choice and don’t judge you for it, but I think we could easily tip this area to be more diverse if a few more folks moved in. It wouldn’t take much, and a lot of young families with one Asian parent have moved into my neighborhood lately, so I’m hopeful for change.

Good for you, but that was not my experience, maybe you live in a different neighborhood, but I was very frequently the only non-white person in a restaurant/store/playspace. I can't speak to school, when we lived in Arlington my kids were in a small in-home daycare, I can only speak to our neighborhood and the places we spent time in and I wasn't OK with it. I'm glad you want to be a trailblazer, and I'm happy to hear that your neighborhood is becoming more diverse, but that's just not the situation I wanted to put my kids in. As I said, been there, done that and I did not enjoy it. I love where we live now, and for the diversity plus many other reasons I prefer to live where we live now. Not going to lie, my neighbors here are SO MUCH more friendly than our snobby Arlington neighbors too (but again, that was my experience in the neighborhood we lived in and I was NOT ok with it).

[Anonymous]

I'm white, my DH is black, and we factored it into house hunting.

[Anonymous]

I'm Asian, DH is white, one kid is full Asian and the other is half-Asian, half white. We definitely looked for a school or area that was diverse racially, as well as somewhat economically. We landed in the West Springfield HS pyramid (kids are upper elementary currently). Their school isn't as racially diverse as others listed here but is 55% white, 45% non-white.

Growing up, I was one of 3 Asian kids in school and it was awful.

[Anonymous]

We chose a racially diverse area but not necessarily the race that reflects our family. I want DD to see other children of color -- which color isn't as important as her not being the ONLY child of color.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm Asian, DH is white, one kid is full Asian and the other is half-Asian, half white. We definitely looked for a school or area that was diverse racially, as well as somewhat economically. We landed in the West Springfield HS pyramid (kids are upper elementary currently). Their school isn't as racially diverse as others listed here but is 55% white, 45% non-white.

Growing up, I was one of 3 Asian kids in school and it was awful.

Same for my nieces. They absolutely hated it. They eventually moved when the youngest was still in HS to a school with way more Asian American students, and she was much happier (including with a more challenging school - more AP classes, etc.).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much does this factor into what neighborhood you live in and what school you choose? I live in an area of NOVA that has a good number of Hispanics, Asians/East Asians and mixed kids, and my child is mixed Asian and white. I keep going back and forth on whether to find a house here or look in NW DC. I looked at Wilson High, Deal, Murch demographics and the numbers are more like 30-50%+ black and Hispanic and only 5% Asian and/or 2-5% mixed race. If you are a minority parent or parent to a mixed (especially Asian/other race mix), how did this factor into your decision making? Growing up in a white area myself, it was important for me to find an area that was racially and socioeconomically diverse, but I go back and forth on whether the specific kind of racial diversity is important. What are your thoughts? I hated being only one of 2 Asian kids in my school, so that is where I am coming from.

We are looking at purchasing a home and settling down and I would love to hear other opinions.

Upper NW DC has a lot more mixed kids than the numbers suggest., Especially at younger grades. It's one of the reasons we like it here and is an important part of why we stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Asian, DH is white, one kid is full Asian and the other is half-Asian, half white. We definitely looked for a school or area that was diverse racially, as well as somewhat economically. We landed in the West Springfield HS pyramid (kids are upper elementary currently). Their school isn't as racially diverse as others listed here but is 55% white, 45% non-white.

Growing up, I was one of 3 Asian kids in school and it was awful.

Same for my nieces. They absolutely hated it. They eventually moved when the youngest was still in HS to a school with way more Asian American students, and she was much happier (including with a more challenging school - more AP classes, etc.).

DH and I were both token Asians and we didn’t mind. I had a diverse group of friends in college and grad school but the friends I tend to keep in touch with are Asian. Pretty much all our professional colleagues are white so we are still token Asians.