People are really miffed that we're not finding out the sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how you don't know what gender your baby is. Didn't you watch the anatomy scan? I knew the sex of our kids before the techs said a word. Boys are pretty obvious...

At this point you have to expressly tell the doctors and nurses that you don't want to know, since with prenatal screening and ultrasounds the default is knowing.

[Anonymous]

Don't find out if you don't want to know! I did want to know but then got stupid comments about wasn't I sad that my boys weren't girls. There are all sorts of thoughtless people in the world!

[Anonymous]

Hey, op! It’s just small talk. People can say “I wish I knew” or “I was glad to know” without you thinking they are judging your choices. They are not miffed. Just roll with it. You are acting like you are doing something so different and worth comment. You’re not. More people have done it your way than not. And nobody really cares that much about your baby.

[Anonymous]

Why wouldn’t you want to know? Stupid.

[Anonymous]

We didn't find out for either of our kids either. For the first it was because we struggled to get pregnant and it was just our way of trying to inject something "fun" or "interesting" back into the process. Plus, we were so happy to be pregnant that we just did not care what the sex of the baby was. Then, we just decided it would work just as well for the second. If I felt strongly one way or another, I would have found out beforehand. I wasn't trying to be an asshole, as another poster indicated. DH and I were doing what worked for us.

There were definitely people who reacted negatively to our decision, but oh well? Their problem.

We also didn't share names ahead of time and again it wasn't because we were trying to be assholes or get more attention, it was because we didn't want to hear other people's opinions. I knew there would be people who didn't like our choices and I didn't want to hear it.

OP, you do you - if anyone feels that strongly about the choices you are making, it says more about them than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s really hard to find gender neutral gifts and buying baby clothes is usually fun. Buying gender neutral baby clothes is not really fun. And, people who keep from learning the gender or keep their preferred names secret are usually pretty obnoxious. Sorry op

Hi, welcome to 2019. Have you met the Internet? It's pretty great. If you use this search engine called "Google" and type in gender-neutral baby clothes, a huge array of options at nearly all price points will be presented to you. Wowie, zowie! Did I just blow your mind?

I don’t find buying baby clothes on the internet fun. It’s the one thing that I still enjoy buying in the store. This is just my opinion, other people can think whatever. I’m just giving op another perspective. Maybe her MIL is not super savvy about shopping on the internet. Maybe someone has some special gendered baby item they want to give to her. Who knows?

In my experience, the people who don’t find out or keep baby names secret etc. tend to be people who want to draw attention to themselves and their “special” choices.

I totally agree. It must be some millennial nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey, op! It’s just small talk. People can say “I wish I knew” or “I was glad to know” without you thinking they are judging your choices. They are not miffed. Just roll with it. You are acting like you are doing something so different and worth comment. You’re not. More people have done it your way than not. And nobody really cares that much about your baby.

Someone always says this and maybe that’s true for you that your mil or close friends are just making small talk and don’t actually care about your baby but in my family and my circle of friends that is not the case. Certainly no one cares as much as the expectant parents do, I’ll give you that, but there are definitely people who do care about the baby and actually do have strong opinions about seemingly silly things like whether you find out baby’s sex beforehand or not. It’s probably not because they truly care if it’s a boy or a girl but because they don’t like that you’re choosing not to find out because it’s a different choice than they would make. Stop assuming just because you don’t care about your family members’ or friends’ choices on this matter means that no one else’s MIL or friends care. It sounds like the OPs family and friends are genuinely miffed.

[Anonymous]

I was just like you op and my friends wanted to wait until after the baby was born to throw a shower. I think it’s sexist for people to want to give only pink or blue gifts. It’s a baby! Boy babies and girl babies are the same!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We didn't find out for either of our kids either. For the first it was because we struggled to get pregnant and it was just our way of trying to inject something "fun" or "interesting" back into the process. Plus, we were so happy to be pregnant that we just did not care what the sex of the baby was. Then, we just decided it would work just as well for the second. If I felt strongly one way or another, I would have found out beforehand. I wasn't trying to be an asshole, as another poster indicated. DH and I were doing what worked for us.

There were definitely people who reacted negatively to our decision, but oh well? Their problem.

We also didn't share names ahead of time and again it wasn't because we were trying to be assholes or get more attention, it was because we didn't want to hear other people's opinions. I knew there would be people who didn't like our choices and I didn't want to hear it.

OP, you do you - if anyone feels that strongly about the choices you are making, it says more about them than you.

I had to check the date because I felt the same way. And infertility was why we didn’t find out with our first too.

[Anonymous]

The problem is that it's hard to find gender neutral stuff on sale/clearance.

Tell them s/he will choose the gender when s/he turns 13. So, gender neutral, please.

*p.s. it's probably a girl.

[Anonymous]

“Well, I’m sure this decision regarding our baby won’t be the last one you disagree with. Glad you’re getting an early start so you can acclimate to it. Can someone pass the broccoli, please?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey, op! It’s just small talk. People can say “I wish I knew” or “I was glad to know” without you thinking they are judging your choices. They are not miffed. Just roll with it. You are acting like you are doing something so different and worth comment. You’re not. More people have done it your way than not. And nobody really cares that much about your baby.

I know the difference between small talk and pushing/woe-is-me-I-can't-buy-you-anything/"Why aren't you finding out?! Mark and Karen found out and it was great!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t you want to know? Stupid.

HA! This right here is what OP is up against.

I'm sorry you're jealous that people thought it was more exciting when your sister or friend made their announcement than when you did, and people were like, "Oh yeah, Baby Kevin that she's been postig on FB about for four months is now actually here."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s really hard to find gender neutral gifts and buying baby clothes is usually fun. Buying gender neutral baby clothes is not really fun. And, people who keep from learning the gender or keep their preferred names secret are usually pretty obnoxious. Sorry op

Hi, welcome to 2019. Have you met the Internet? It's pretty great. If you use this search engine called "Google" and type in gender-neutral baby clothes, a huge array of options at nearly all price points will be presented to you. Wowie, zowie! Did I just blow your mind?

I don’t find buying baby clothes on the internet fun. It’s the one thing that I still enjoy buying in the store. This is just my opinion, other people can think whatever. I’m just giving op another perspective. Maybe her MIL is not super savvy about shopping on the internet. Maybe someone has some special gendered baby item they want to give to her. Who knows?

In my experience, the people who don’t find out or keep baby names secret etc. tend to be people who want to draw attention to themselves and their “special” choices.

I totally agree. It must be some millennial nonsense.

You must be a hyper-consumer who doesn't give one single care about the planet you are leaving to your children if you don't see the value of being able to re-use baby clothing, blankets, etc.

[Anonymous]

I got some of that. My sister was appalled and said I was being impractical and wasting money (because I would presumably go out and buy new clothes in pink or blue, which of course I did not). Let it roll off, OP. This is just the start of people being in your business.