What is SIL's problem with me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore those who are dismissive. I would have been peeved by the exchange that you described. I am sorry she is such a brat.

Britney was an obnoxious, inconsiderate brat. But Op was egging Britney's bad behavior on by doing the Good Daughter and Good little Wifie routine. The sugary way she spoke to Britney was gag inducing. I hope no one vomited right onto their plate or fell into sugar shock.

It was appropriate to be helpful but the "Oh, what a good husband" and "what a thoughtful wife" thing was too much. Op jumped the shark.

You and your DH put quite a show and made bratty SIL feel awkward and excluded. You were over the top with your PDA, him saying that you should not serve yourself (when SIL just did), and your gentle voice. You may mean well but you come across as someone pretentious and insincere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore those who are dismissive. I would have been peeved by the exchange that you described. I am sorry she is such a brat.

Britney was an obnoxious, inconsiderate brat. But Op was egging Britney's bad behavior on by doing the Good Daughter and Good little Wifie routine. The sugary way she spoke to Britney was gag inducing. I hope no one vomited right onto their plate or fell into sugar shock.

It was appropriate to be helpful but the "Oh, what a good husband" and "what a thoughtful wife" thing was too much. Op jumped the shark.

You and your DH put quite a show and made bratty SIL feel awkward and excluded. You were over the top with your PDA, him saying that you should not serve yourself (when SIL just did), and your gentle voice. You may mean well but you come across as someone pretentious and insincere.

I'm on Team OP. Her SIL is just batshit evil and really should be estranged from OP and her DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore those who are dismissive. I would have been peeved by the exchange that you described. I am sorry she is such a brat.

Britney was an obnoxious, inconsiderate brat. But Op was egging Britney's bad behavior on by doing the Good Daughter and Good little Wifie routine. The sugary way she spoke to Britney was gag inducing. I hope no one vomited right onto their plate or fell into sugar shock.

It was appropriate to be helpful but the "Oh, what a good husband" and "what a thoughtful wife" thing was too much. Op jumped the shark.

You and your DH put quite a show and made bratty SIL feel awkward and excluded. You were over the top with your PDA, him saying that you should not serve yourself (when SIL just did), and your gentle voice. You may mean well but you come across as someone pretentious and insincere.

I'm on Team OP. Her SIL is just batshit evil and really should be estranged from OP and her DH.

your over the top reaction show you just might be the batshit crazy one. Oh my, there is a disagreement—cut them off! Crap, did out generation learn no interpersonal or conflict resolution skills?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore those who are dismissive. I would have been peeved by the exchange that you described. I am sorry she is such a brat.

Britney was an obnoxious, inconsiderate brat. But Op was egging Britney's bad behavior on by doing the Good Daughter and Good little Wifie routine. The sugary way she spoke to Britney was gag inducing. I hope no one vomited right onto their plate or fell into sugar shock.

It was appropriate to be helpful but the "Oh, what a good husband" and "what a thoughtful wife" thing was too much. Op jumped the shark.

You and your DH put quite a show and made bratty SIL feel awkward and excluded. You were over the top with your PDA, him saying that you should not serve yourself (when SIL just did), and your gentle voice. You may mean well but you come across as someone pretentious and insincere.

+1 Frankly, none of this was necessary. Learn to let things roll off your back. You and everyone around you will be a lot stressed out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, both you and SIL are playing a sad game.

What game is that? I wasn't playing any game. I just wanted to help FIL as I felt bad for it. Also I thought it would be efficient.

Oh PLEASE. You were outdoing yourself to be the Gallant to her Goofus. You were overplaying Good Daughter and she was acting up as Spoiled Brat. You were both making quite the spectacle of yourselves, and pulling the focus away from what it should be: a pleasant holiday.

This.
OK is a total drama queen

[Anonymous]

OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL and SIL have disliked me since the day my DH brought me home. Over the years we have had a lot of drama with the MIL but after repeated confrontations and talks, she seems to have toned it down. She treats me politely but coldly and that is fine with me. She KNOWS her treatment of me is not cool and when she says acts crazy again, we all know its on her, not me or my DH.

My SIL has never liked me and goes out of her way to treat me as a stranger. She is passive aggressive and MEAN.

Over the years I have been busy focusing on MIL so I have generally brushed her behavior aside but at a recent thanksgiving her meanness come up front and center and has been on my mind.

Example:

FIL is getting up there and had some trouble serving our plates at dinner. He was having difficulty giving SIL the right about of stuffing, she gets annoyed, yells at him gets up and serves her own plate with a huff and sits back down. I look at FIL and felt bad he was struggling so I gently ask him if he needs help. He says yes thank you. I stand up and start serving everyone's dinner, filling every plate passed to me and adjusting according to their preferences. This seems to make SIL mad for some reason. She visibly recoils. Then she starts mean commentary, " guys! look at Larla! What is she doing?! She is giving everyone tiny portions! we need to eat!" I am too busy serving to comment and let it slide. Then, " OMG guys lets all give Larla tips for serving us! hahah!"

I give mu husband an angry "wtf" look. He looks at me back and says, "Laria is doing a wonderful job. Thank you honey!"

Then when its my plate, DH gets out of his seat and says, "you shouldn't have to serve yourself. Let me get yours." I say thanks, kiss him, and sit down.

SIL freaks out. "What??!! That is not fair! I had to get my own plate! Why do you have to serve Larla's?!"

"My husband ignores her and casually mutters, "she's my wife."

I look at SIL and say gently, "Britney you should be proud your brother is being a good husband."

She then visibly recoils, mutters something under her breath and gives me the most icy angry stare and then a fake plastic exaggerated smile"

I'm so shocked at it Im left staring at the obvious display of hatred. Out of the blue!

I am utterly confused. She always does things like this, criticize me, call me out, make fun of me. I have no idea what is going on? What is her deal? How do I deal?

Wow, even using just a few anonymous lines of text and I can tell OP is a total asshole.

[Anonymous]

The ongoing battle of the Petulant Brat vs. Queen High & Mighty.....

Many, many small battles but who will emerge victorious from the war! Tune in to find out kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore those who are dismissive. I would have been peeved by the exchange that you described. I am sorry she is such a brat.

Britney was an obnoxious, inconsiderate brat. But Op was egging Britney's bad behavior on by doing the Good Daughter and Good little Wifie routine. The sugary way she spoke to Britney was gag inducing. I hope no one vomited right onto their plate or fell into sugar shock.

It was appropriate to be helpful but the "Oh, what a good husband" and "what a thoughtful wife" thing was too much. Op jumped the shark.

You and your DH put quite a show and made bratty SIL feel awkward and excluded. You were over the top with your PDA, him saying that you should not serve yourself (when SIL just did), and your gentle voice. You may mean well but you come across as someone pretentious and insincere.

I'm on Team OP. Her SIL is just batshit evil and really should be estranged from OP and her DH.

Hi OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL and SIL have disliked me since the day my DH brought me home. Over the years we have had a lot of drama with the MIL but after repeated confrontations and talks, she seems to have toned it down. She treats me politely but coldly and that is fine with me. She KNOWS her treatment of me is not cool and when she says acts crazy again, we all know its on her, not me or my DH.

My SIL has never liked me and goes out of her way to treat me as a stranger. She is passive aggressive and MEAN.

Over the years I have been busy focusing on MIL so I have generally brushed her behavior aside but at a recent thanksgiving her meanness come up front and center and has been on my mind.

Example:

FIL is getting up there and had some trouble serving our plates at dinner. He was having difficulty giving SIL the right about of stuffing, she gets annoyed, yells at him gets up and serves her own plate with a huff and sits back down. I look at FIL and felt bad he was struggling so I gently ask him if he needs help. He says yes thank you. I stand up and start serving everyone's dinner, filling every plate passed to me and adjusting according to their preferences. This seems to make SIL mad for some reason. She visibly recoils. Then she starts mean commentary, " guys! look at Larla! What is she doing?! She is giving everyone tiny portions! we need to eat!" I am too busy serving to comment and let it slide. Then, " OMG guys lets all give Larla tips for serving us! hahah!"

I give mu husband an angry "wtf" look. He looks at me back and says, "Laria is doing a wonderful job. Thank you honey!"

Then when its my plate, DH gets out of his seat and says, "you shouldn't have to serve yourself. Let me get yours." I say thanks, kiss him, and sit down.

SIL freaks out. "What??!! That is not fair! I had to get my own plate! Why do you have to serve Larla's?!"

"My husband ignores her and casually mutters, "she's my wife."

I look at SIL and say gently, "Britney you should be proud your brother is being a good husband."

She then visibly recoils, mutters something under her breath and gives me the most icy angry stare and then a fake plastic exaggerated smile"

I'm so shocked at it Im left staring at the obvious display of hatred. Out of the blue!

I am utterly confused. She always does things like this, criticize me, call me out, make fun of me. I have no idea what is going on? What is her deal? How do I deal?

Wow, even using just a few anonymous lines of text and I can tell OP is a total asshole.

OP - can I ask you a question? Why don't they like you? Were they going to dislike any woman your husband brought home, are you a bad cultural fit, did you do something, did they do something? What happened?

I have to admit - reading this makes me feel like I'd prefer just to stay home than deal with ANY of the people involved in this situation. You all sound pretty difficult. But what started all the problems, and why can't you and your SIL get along?

[Anonymous]

My SIL is a nightmare as well her and her family where here the entire week and it was so painful our relationship might never be the same again. We waited on them hand a foot, planned fun things to do and supplied 3 meals a day for the family of 4, for 7 days (minus one meal.) They never offered to pick up mess or maybe say can we bring lunch home, or take us out, bring flowers or wine. They left a mess, were ungracious and should be mortified of their behavior. She is self centered and mean spirited. My husband has 2 brothers and the other sister in laws have similar relationships with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG you sound like the most passive aggressive bunch of nutjobs. Putting food on plates shouldn't require this much debate or drama.

...how did I create the drama?

This. You shamed her. "I look at SIL and say gently, "Britney you should be proud your brother is being a good husband." "

the sil deserved it. don't dish it out if you can't take it yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG you sound like the most passive aggressive bunch of nutjobs. Putting food on plates shouldn't require this much debate or drama.

...how did I create the drama?

This. You shamed her. "I look at SIL and say gently, "Britney you should be proud your brother is being a good husband." "

the sil deserved it. don't dish it out if you can't take it yourself.

eh, and who wants to slave all day in the kitchen only to have a spectacle like that happen at the dining room table? Not me!

Ignore your SIL, Op.

[Anonymous]

Rather than offering to help FIL and inserting yourself front row center into the issue, it would have served you better to have quietly mentioned to your DH that it looks like his father could use a hand. Then your DH could have offered to help him and SIL would not have you as a target.

Next time wait a little and give their family members a chance to work through a problem before you jump in and show them up.

FIL could have also asked someone to help him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rather than offering to help FIL and inserting yourself front row center into the issue, it would have served you better to have quietly mentioned to your DH that it looks like his father could use a hand. Then your DH could have offered to help him and SIL would not have you as a target.

Next time wait a little and give their family members a chance to work through a problem before you jump in and show them up.

FIL could have also asked someone to help him.

But why is it OP's fault? SIL went uber bratty on her. Geez. I am glad I am not some posters' SIL.