Honestly interested in sending child away

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it was pretty nasty that you told her friend she was having a meltdown. Be honest with yourself: you did that for "revenge" or "to get back at" your dd.

She clearly IS nasty. Her DD wants some ice cream (who doesn’t?) and she calls it a ‘sugar addiction’ and says no and drags her out of the mall, screaming. Because why? Being skinny and in control is probably the most important thing to OP - can’t give that up.
The screaming says she hates living with you . I would too. You should find a therapist that can nudge you towards being less of an as$hole OP.
You should try it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy her the damned ice cream! Other people like her enough to say hello but she doesn’t like you very much - look in the mirror, lady.

-1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She has friends at school. That's great.

Personally, I would not tell a tween's friend and that friend's family that my child was having a meltdown. This is a very sensitive age. That's not a good idea, OP. You could have said "Larla is taking a moment" or something like that. And, you could have built on the fact that her friend was there to end the meltdown -- "Larla, do you want to come out and say hello to Annabelle?"

I'm not trying to put you down, but you sound oppositional to her and your dislike of her (which is pretty obvious) makes you handle situations in a way that inflames them. I'm sure she's very, very, difficult, no doubt, but just as she blames others for everything -- don't you do that too???

I agree with this. Of course she was mortified that you “told on her” to her school friend and her parents. She’s not stupid, I think you are. I really wonder how much of this has to do with your parenting, and I hate saying that because of course I don’t know you, but this one example makes me wonder if you’ve just never bonded with her or you just really have no clue how to talk to kids.

How should OP have handled it? I read it thinking the friends are standing by the car and clearly can hear the kid screaming inside. What would you have done? Saying she's "having a moment" when they can hear her screaming is splitting hairs. What is the mom supposed to do to explain why the kid is inside the car screaming while she's waiting outside? I guess I don't see it as malicious. I'm really unsure how I myself would have explained it.

She needs to focus more on bring joy to her DD’s life and less on being a cruel dictator.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it was pretty nasty that you told her friend she was having a meltdown. Be honest with yourself: you did that for "revenge" or "to get back at" your dd.

She clearly IS nasty. Her DD wants some ice cream (who doesn’t?) and she calls it a ‘sugar addiction’ and says no and drags her out of the mall, screaming. Because why? Being skinny and in control is probably the most important thing to OP - can’t give that up.
The screaming says she hates living with you . I would too. You should find a therapist that can nudge you towards being less of an as$hole OP.
You should try it.

Go away Trollie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a child that will be 11 in a few weeks. The following is honest sharing and I appreciate not being judged for it.

My child is not smart. She’s not good at anything. She has no interests. She is obsessed with sugar. She screams and loses her mind with us all the time.

We have tried meds, therapy groups, private school, executive function tutors...nothing works.

She refuses to accept blame and is only obsessed with blaming others for “making” her upset.

Example: she was losing her mind at the mall because I told her no when she asked for ice cream. She proceeded to scream and me the entire way to the car. Rather than put her little brother in the car with her screaming (again) I said she could calm down in the car and we would wait outside it.

A friend of hers from school and her parents drove by us and stopped to say hello. And heard her screaming. I told them she was having a meltdown.

She realized what was happening and freaked out because I told on her. Not that the only reason the whole situation existed was because of her choices.

Can a kid just be a bad person beyond repair?

We just want her out of our lives.

She’s 11 years old - you are the adult , she is the kid.

You are a parent beyond repair. You are absolutely horrible and you need therapy now before you also ruin your other children’s lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. We’ve taken PEP classes.

NOTHING WORKS FOR HER. Or for our family.

But what therapy is SHE getting for her antisocial behavior?

She means OP. This is all about OP being an abusive nitwit and not realizing it and instead medicating her daughter and sending her to therapy when it’s OP that desperately needs the meds and the therapy (not sure it will help though).

[Anonymous]

Adhd and dyslexia can cause frustration and low self esteem and depression. It sounds like she is self medicating with sugar because of depression. If you could find a talent that she could focus on and develop it would help her tremendously. She has to be good at something. Sports, art, cooking, music. Read Michael Phelps bio. It is more common than you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a child that will be 11 in a few weeks. The following is honest sharing and I appreciate not being judged for it.

My child is not smart. She’s not good at anything. She has no interests. She is obsessed with sugar. She screams and loses her mind with us all the time.

We have tried meds, therapy groups, private school, executive function tutors...nothing works.

She refuses to accept blame and is only obsessed with blaming others for “making” her upset.


When I was at my wits because my son had anger issues and overreacted to the slightest thing I tried brain mapping it changed my child - it took the part of his brain that was over firing all the time and balanced it. So instead of him overreacting he had normal reactions! It’s been life changing for us. He did therapy for 1 year with Dr. below. People are quick to call it a scam but I can tell you it took an over firing alpha brain and normalized it. It’s not her fault for her anger etc. her brain is overfiring. Don’t give up on her! Get her help!
https://www.neurofeedbackwave.com/neurofeedback

[Anonymous]

PP - forgot to mention my son who did brain mapping also has profound dyslexia. He’s a changed kid!!! Worth looking into.

[Anonymous]

Therapeutic boarding schools are available in our area. Start looking into them. It might be the option she needs.

Yes, it's possible that at 11 she might have a mental issue that won't get better and will be difficult to manage. ie borderline personality disorder

If that's not an option, consider a change in therapist and that more hours per week of therapy are needed.

I think you did the right thing when her friend came along. She likely needs to see and feel the consequences of her actions in real life situations in order to make changes.

The posters that are calling you a terrible parent are a big problem. They do not understand how difficult it is to have a child with mental health issues and on top of it not be able to find help and every turn get persecuted for parenting "wrong"

[Anonymous]

There are some people on this forum who are so consistently nasty. OP - i have no specific advice for you, but appreciate that having an angry, unpleasant child can be an exhausting experience, and we may not all parent them perfectly because it consumes us daily. Those people with easier kids can look at a 5 minute snippet of our lives and judge and tell us what we did wrong -- but they don't come with the baggage of having had a similar fight 13 times already in the last 2 hours.

And f-ck off to the person who told you that sugar is the problem and you should move your whole family to a farm.

[Anonymous]

Be honest, OP - are you describing a step child?? Your total lack of empathy for anything about this child is chilling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are some people on this forum who are so consistently nasty. OP - i have no specific advice for you, but appreciate that having an angry, unpleasant child can be an exhausting experience, and we may not all parent them perfectly because it consumes us daily. Those people with easier kids can look at a 5 minute snippet of our lives and judge and tell us what we did wrong -- but they don't come with the baggage of having had a similar fight 13 times already in the last 2 hours.

And f-ck off to the person who told you that sugar is the problem and you should move your whole family to a farm.

I was going to write a similar post. OP, ignore the nasty people. They just don't understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She has friends at school. That's great.

Personally, I would not tell a tween's friend and that friend's family that my child was having a meltdown. This is a very sensitive age. That's not a good idea, OP. You could have said "Larla is taking a moment" or something like that. And, you could have built on the fact that her friend was there to end the meltdown -- "Larla, do you want to come out and say hello to Annabelle?"

I'm not trying to put you down, but you sound oppositional to her and your dislike of her (which is pretty obvious) makes you handle situations in a way that inflames them. I'm sure she's very, very, difficult, no doubt, but just as she blames others for everything -- don't you do that too???

I agree with this. Of course she was mortified that you “told on her” to her school friend and her parents. She’s not stupid, I think you are. I really wonder how much of this has to do with your parenting, and I hate saying that because of course I don’t know you, but this one example makes me wonder if you’ve just never bonded with her or you just really have no clue how to talk to kids.

How should OP have handled it? I read it thinking the friends are standing by the car and clearly can hear the kid screaming inside. What would you have done? Saying she's "having a moment" when they can hear her screaming is splitting hairs. What is the mom supposed to do to explain why the kid is inside the car screaming while she's waiting outside? I guess I don't see it as malicious. I'm really unsure how I myself would have explained it.

I’m the person you responded to. If this happened to me (and it did happen when my children were toddlers) I would have smiled and waved and said nothing. No explanation needed.

My mom inadvertently embarrassed me so much as a kid by talking too much.

[Anonymous]

I find the sugar addiction and the asking for ice cream integral to the situation. I think there’s a lot of self-loathing with this child and she self-medicates with sugar and food when she is with you.