Drama over space heater-want divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a husband. My solution is to tell your husband that until there is a solution for the heat problem in her room, DD will sleep in your bed with you and he will sleep in her bed. If he has to sleep in her room, he'll probably find a solution to the cooling problem quickly.

Dude, you need to check your T level. You talk funny

[Anonymous]

The problem most likely isn't the window. It probably a lack of properly installed insulation in the wall or adjacent soffit above/below room.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks everyone. This is my first time posting on the relationship forum. I'm amazed by all the responses!

It's true that DH is not uniquely qualified to handle this problem. I just wanted him to. I shouldn't have even asked him to and instead just done it myself.

Guest bedroom is on another floor, far from us. I can't move DD there.

I just wanted DH to handle this because I'm overwhelmed doing everything for our life in addition to my demanding job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks everyone. This is my first time posting on the relationship forum. I'm amazed by all the responses!

It's true that DH is not uniquely qualified to handle this problem. I just wanted him to. I shouldn't have even asked him to and instead just done it myself.

Guest bedroom is on another floor, far from us. I can't move DD there.

I just wanted DH to handle this because I'm overwhelmed doing everything for our life in addition to my demanding job.

Ok.

So do you want a divorce or are you being hyperbolic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks everyone. This is my first time posting on the relationship forum. I'm amazed by all the responses!

It's true that DH is not uniquely qualified to handle this problem. I just wanted him to. I shouldn't have even asked him to and instead just done it myself.

Guest bedroom is on another floor, far from us. I can't move DD there.

I just wanted DH to handle this because I'm overwhelmed doing everything for our life in addition to my demanding job.

Ok.

So do you want a divorce or are you being hyperbolic?

I think OP just wants some attention - aka drama queen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem most likely isn't the window. It probably a lack of properly installed insulation in the wall or adjacent soffit above/below room.

Or some issue with the furnace that prevents it from heating the room effectively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your husband a builder? What exactly makes him more equipped to know how to fix this than you?

Everyone knows the genes for home repair are carried on the Y chromosome! That, and all men use their p*nis to fix stuff.

[Anonymous]

Get some of that plastic shrink wrap for the window. It works really well.

Unless DD's room isn't hotter than the rest of the house during summer. In that case, it's not your window. Is the temp off in her room when you're running your AC?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you might need to install a double-paned bedroom window. I have no window into your marriage, but it sounds like neither of you are particularly handy around the house.

https://www.homeadvisor.com/r/advantages-of-double-pane-windows/

--somebody who is married to a home renovator

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks everyone. This is my first time posting on the relationship forum. I'm amazed by all the responses!

It's true that DH is not uniquely qualified to handle this problem. I just wanted him to. I shouldn't have even asked him to and instead just done it myself.

Guest bedroom is on another floor, far from us. I can't move DD there.

I just wanted DH to handle this because I'm overwhelmed doing everything for our life in addition to my demanding job.

My therapist gave me this advice- if you were to divorce, you'd end up doing all of this stuff on your own anyway, without the added benefit of a second income. The only real "perk" of divorce is to date/sleep with other men, which I'm not interested in doing. So for now it's to my advantage to stay married.

This has helped me let go of a lot of the resentment and stress I have. I just do exactly what I would have done if I was divorced and on my own. I've stopped resenting my DH and it gives me a taste of what life as a single parent is actually like.

Also- it is way, way less energy to just do these things on your own. Stressing over it, nagging, and getting upset take more effort and energy than just googling what to do and ordering materials online. Is it "fair"? No. But it makes for a happier life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:guy here - i don't see what's wrong with your DH's space heater solution. what is your concern exactly?

Safety. dp, btw

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP about it possibly not being the window. It could be lack of insulation in the walls.
If you are planning to live in the home long term and that will be her room, then you need to get a contractor to come in and look at the insulation and look at the window as well. Even if you fix those, it's possible it might still be cold. You might need an additional blower in the duct or other changes in the duct work.

You could also consider installing a wall heater instead of a space heater.

[Anonymous]

There are different types of space heaters, some are cheap and dangerous (the kinds where you see the restive heating elements), and some are expensive but save (Dyson).

In my house, DD does not get much HVAC: cold in winter, hot in summer. For the winter, she has a heater. Now, DD is old enough to manage it, but that was not always the case. In the younger days, I made sure it was ok.

[Anonymous]

Another thought for warmth is a heated mattress pad. They are low voltage and a safer option. The temperature sounds like an easier fix than the marriage!

[Anonymous]

You want a divorce, but don't mind sleeping with DH in the same room. Move to the kid room or kick him to guest room.
I sleep with the kid. We both like warm room. DC starts coughing in cold and I wake up all stuffed. Before they turned the heat on in our condo, we used radiator.