Drama over space heater-want divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While your issues are really not about the heater, my parents raised six kids in a house that was set at 50 degrees for the night. We now keep our house at a toasty 62 degrees overnight and some rooms are cooler than that.

There are many. many children in the world who sleep in rooms that are 60 degrees or below. Put another sleep bag or set of pajamas on her.

We also use space heaters at times but not overnight!

And not everyone can sleep in low temperatures. Women in general run much lower temperatures than men. I also have circulation issues which means my body has trouble warming itself and retaining heat. Sleeping in such low temperatures would be very uncomfortable for me and probably cause me to lose sleep, which is very bad for someone at OP's daughter's age who is still growing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your daughter is not just at risk of getting sick or overheating, but also mold toxicity.

You need to make a call for a handyman as soon as you can. It needs to be fixed. Mold is no joke, and sometimes you can't even see it since it's in the walls. Personally, I'd also get a mold inspection, at least in that room.

In the meantime, I'd use the space heater and require (not ask) DH to sleep in your daughter's room, on the floor. I'd hesitate to get a child in my bed "temporarily" because I feel like it will be hard to get her out later. But at least your DH can be in there as another person to monitor the temp/fire situation. Plus of course you'll need an excellent smoke alarm in that room.

And yeah, I'd divorce that guy. Don't bother trying to fix him. If he doesn't get it, he doesn't get it. And he doesn't get it

+1 to all of this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While your issues are really not about the heater, my parents raised six kids in a house that was set at 50 degrees for the night. We now keep our house at a toasty 62 degrees overnight and some rooms are cooler than that.

There are many. many children in the world who sleep in rooms that are 60 degrees or below. Put another sleep bag or set of pajamas on her.

We also use space heaters at times but not overnight!

And not everyone can sleep in low temperatures. Women in general run much lower temperatures than men. I also have circulation issues which means my body has trouble warming itself and retaining heat. Sleeping in such low temperatures would be very uncomfortable for me and probably cause me to lose sleep, which is very bad for someone at OP's daughter's age who is still growing.

If you are used to warm temperatures then you would find it uncomfortable but for the baby for whom this is all she has known, it is fine. Cold weather is not very bad for a growing childm there are many cold climates in the world that are populated with children. Some of which don't even have central heat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love when women on this board say things like “require him to sleep in her room.” OK. How are you going to “require” this, tough talker? If my DH “required” me to do something, he’d have to physically pick me up and move me. Get a life, lady.

It was a MAN that made that suggestion. When will the man-babies ever grow up? Why should a baby daughter endure the cold when her own father won't?

Oh my god. You make it sound like she’s sleeping in the car in 20 degree temperatures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While your issues are really not about the heater, my parents raised six kids in a house that was set at 50 degrees for the night. We now keep our house at a toasty 62 degrees overnight and some rooms are cooler than that.

There are many. many children in the world who sleep in rooms that are 60 degrees or below. Put another sleep bag or set of pajamas on her.

We also use space heaters at times but not overnight!

And not everyone can sleep in low temperatures. Women in general run much lower temperatures than men. I also have circulation issues which means my body has trouble warming itself and retaining heat. Sleeping in such low temperatures would be very uncomfortable for me and probably cause me to lose sleep, which is very bad for someone at OP's daughter's age who is still growing.

If you are used to warm temperatures then you would find it uncomfortable but for the baby for whom this is all she has known, it is fine. Cold weather is not very bad for a growing childm there are many cold climates in the world that are populated with children. Some of which don't even have central heat.

And plenty of places across the world with stunted human growth rates. That isn't saying much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a husband. My solution is to tell your husband that until there is a solution for the heat problem in her room, DD will sleep in your bed with you and he will sleep in her bed. If he has to sleep in her room, he'll probably find a solution to the cooling problem quickly.

This

How sad that's what it takes for a guy to give a crap about his baby's welfare.

OP, strongly consider divorce.

Oh give it a rest and go back to the political forum where you can continue to spew your sexist hate. You can say the same thing about the OP. She could have called someone or fixed it herself. Yet the dangerous space heater is in the DD’s room and OP is posting away. How sad....what does it take for a mother to give a crap about her baby’s wellfare? Oh I know posting on DCUM...because nothing shows you care like doing nothing while blaming another for doing nothing.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, both you and your husband sound like helpless idiots who can't even deal with a simple house maintenance issue. I'd hate to see either of you in a real crisis or a more serious house issue. Fix the Fing window or at least put up plastic for the winter. There is NOTHING wrong with modern space heaters and they are perfectly safe. Seriously, figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:guy here - i don't see what's wrong with your DH's space heater solution. what is your concern exactly?

The risk of fire

https://www.today.com/home/space-heaters-can-cause-deadly-fires-what-you-need-know-t107848

http://www.fox13news.com/news/local-news/fatal-fire-blamed-on-space-heater

https://www.safeelectricity.org/information-center/library-of-articles/51-heating-safety/101-space-heaters

Thank you. -Np

[Anonymous]

You're not alone. Many mothers feel like they handle mostly everything. I think that's why God gave men a help meat. They need our assistance. But do give him credit, I'm sure he does do some things and would likely do more if he felt appreciated and valued. Deal with the baby situation first, move her to the guest room or your room then call someone to fix the window situation.
You sound very frustrated with DH, maybe you should first try getting some rest for doing everything. Allow him to do some things his way. Things that won't cause harm to others. Get some rest and relaxation for yourself. Try counseling again. Praying for marriage everywhere, it's not easy.