Drama over space heater-want divorce
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Anonymous
Over a space heater that you agreed to put into her room? You're as much to blame for what happened as he is because he doesn't sound any more knowledgeable about the window issue than you are, and you both agreed to try the space heater. |
Anonymous
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We have th same problem. Dd's (21 months) room is one of the furthest from the furnace and has beautiful windows. They don't leak but makes it cold. We have cellular shades and curtains to keep the air from reaching the windows and we also bought a Dyson hot/cool fan. Since baby is in the crib, we set it to a temperature 67 degrees and it turns on intermittently to keep the temp steady. We have a video monitor too. We will have to rethink this once she can get out of her bed and play with the temp settings. But then we will either mount it or block the controls from her.
You could get something like that. They may have models that are remote controlled and monitored by your phone |
Anonymous
| I used to be you. Now I'm divorced and I do the same amount of work as a single adult running a household, but I don't feel so angry all the time. My ex seems to be a much more responsible parent now, and has a live in GF who seems to be permanently unemployed and takes care of all the household stuff-it seems to work for them. If counseling didn't work, I don't know that punishment will, but it's worth trying all positive and negative solutions before leaving-for your kid's sake. |
Anonymous
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My sons room is cold and we use a radiator type heater on low just to add a little supplemental heat but it never gets too warm. This weekend I am also going to do the plastic you out over the windows.
If your window legitimately has an issue, call a repairman or try to figure it out yourself. A pain when you already handle a lot of things I'm sure but obviously your husband is not helping out in this instance. |
Anonymous
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Probably not the info you really want, but thought I'd share the space heater I use in my kids' rooms. These have been safe and work well. I actually combine mine with a thermostat outlet, which can shut it off if the room gets too warm, so it's a good backup for your concerns.
http://www.delonghi.com/en-us/products/comfort/portable-heating/mica-heater/mica-thermic-hmp1500-0112404000 https://shop.luxproducts.com/products/win100?variant=44638828117 |
Anonymous
| Um, move the child into the guest bedroom? |
Anonymous
| OP, he is an asshole. He is lazy. Leave him. Honestly. |
Anonymous
| Is your husband a builder? What exactly makes him more equipped to know how to fix this than you? |
Anonymous
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OP, if the sticking point is that neither of you know what to do with the window, I'm going to help out and give you suggestions that don't require replacing the window.
First, check the caulk around the window. If it's at all cracking, separating or getting brittle, strip it out and recaulk. Second, apply new weather stripping around the window. Use the vinyl v-channel with adhesive backing (inexpensive and easy to apply), and follow a video like this to install it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAPv9wdrNuo Third, if you're still having drafts and temperature issue, replace the current window treatment with more insulating curtains or outside mount roman shades. It needs to cover at least few inches of the wall around the window when closed, and ideally you'd get something interlined for extra insulation (although this can get a little pricey). |
Anonymous
| Just another one to say it may not be your window. Our 4th bedroom is just at the end of the line for the heat. The room is definitely at least 20 degrees cooler than the rest of the house. We just have warmer pjs for the kid in that room. |
Anonymous
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I feel your pain because my husband has made our life hell in exactly the same way. Then when I deal with it, he gets angry. Me doing all the work isn't the biggest part of the problem - it's that he fights me every inch of the way! But this is for your kid's health, OP. Top priority. Please get it fixed as soon as possible. |
Anonymous
| I completely agree with you, and don't understand why people always thing counseling is a useful response. Unless the other person wants to change, counseling is just going to be one more time-consuming thing to take care of. If I were you, I would stop relying on him for anything and just realize you have to do everything yourself - that way you won't end up disappointed. I would also stop doing anything for him. He can handle his own laundry, buy and prepare the foods he wants if they are different from what you want, etc. If he doesn't want to contribute to the household domestic duties, then he can at least take care of himself. It's much less frustrating to simply take care of yourself and your child and assume that he will do nothing, than to constantly fight about it and end up disappointed. |
Anonymous
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The space heater, while a good option for an adult, isn't one I'd want for a toddler who doesn't have the motor function to turn it off or exit the room in case of an emergency. So I get the OP's concern.
That said - its also a $50 solution versus a $500 minimum solution for whatever is wrong with the window. Maybe the husband was worried about the expense or maybe he just thought - oh its a bit cold in that room, let's add a mobile heater through winter. I can't say that I see it as a concern big enough for divorce. |
Anonymous
| I'm a husband. My solution is to tell your husband that until there is a solution for the heat problem in her room, DD will sleep in your bed with you and he will sleep in her bed. If he has to sleep in her room, he'll probably find a solution to the cooling problem quickly. |
Anonymous
| I think you posted this because you want Internet validation for divorce. The heater is the top of the iceberg. |