Is it rude of me to ask a bridesmaid to step down? Here is why..

[Anonymous]

A wedding, however untraditional you make it, is a FORMAL occasion and asking someone to be your bridesmaid is a BIG DEAL.

Get this new friend as an extra one. You simply cannot ask someone to step down unless she is

1 . a raging alcoholic who would ruin the day
2. heavily pregnant and likely to drop
3. insane and awaiting treatment

You are showing very, very bad form.

If I were your friend and you asked this, you can bet your ass I would literally never speak to you again.

[Anonymous]

If you even have to ask this, I agree that you are not mature enough to get married.

You don't do this. If you insist you must have even numbers, then you find another male friend to make another groomsman. The only acceptable reasons to ask someone to step down is if they have a reason that they can't participate in the pre-wedding plans, AND only if you feel that it would things easier on them, not for you. For example, if you had a bridesmaid whose father was dying and was in hospice and she would need to be at the hospital/hospice off and on and you didn't even know if she would be able to make the wedding. Even then, you ask if they want to step down, not ask them to step down.

We had uneven numbers (we had 3 men and 2 women). We had the best man walk down the aisle first by himself, then the other two groomsmen escorted each of the bridesmaids. You can have your two closest friends or perhaps two married bridesmatrons walk down the aisle together (side by side instead of arm in arm) and then have couples.

[Anonymous]

If I were your friend and you asked me to step down I would end our friendship. I don't like being bride's maid as at all, but this is truly rude.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe you would humiliate someone like that all because you want to have an even amount of attendants. Is that really worth destroying a friendship over. Dumbest thing ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:isn't it already weird that fiance has less attendants than you? I would just add 2 to his side to even things up.

Fewer

Davos in the house.

WTF is a Davos? City in Switzerland? Weirdo.

Yeah OP, rude. You sound high maintenance.

NP. You must be one of the 6 people who doesn't watch GoT. That's Game of Thrones in case you're unaware. Davos is a character who learned to read as an adult, and recently corrected someone who said less instead of fewer. It was funny, not weird.

NP. I watched GOT, and the reference sailed right by me, but as soon as you mentioned the back story, I completely remembered the scene.

I'm guessing at how petty the OP is that at this rate she will lose a lot of friends from now until next September. Red wedding carnage.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. You cannot dis-invite a person who has done you no wrong.

You will find a way to acknowledge your new friend (18:48 has a creative and fun idea!), but if you can't, it won't harm your friendship in any way, since she came into this wedding without any expectation of being included.

[Anonymous]

Beyond rude! Why her and not one of the others....because she is the least worthy?

[Anonymous]

You don’t jeopardize a friendship over a ceremony that will be over in a matter of minutes and then largely forgotten.

[Anonymous]

This is selfish and immature. It's not about having some arbitrary number, it's about asking people you actually care about to stand up with you on a special day. If you ask someone to "step down" for such a stupid reason, you are shallow and not worth the hassle, IMO.

[Anonymous]

These bridesmaid things can have lasting impact on a friendship, whether that should be the case or not. The woman who I considered to be my best friend for over ten years (I thought that I was her best friend too) had a huge wedding party with only a few family members and lots of random "friends." I was completely passed over with no explanation, only a last minute request to do a reading (probably after someone else backed out). I was really hurt and decided not to spend the money to travel to the out of town wedding. I had her in my wedding a few years prior and spent over $1000 on her dress and bridesmaid gifts. We had always said to each other that we would be bridesmaids in a each other's weddings.
We are not friends anymore other than on Facebook. I am sad about this. Please don't do this to your friend. It is even worse than what my friend did. Having an extra bridesmaid is always worth saving a friendship if it is possible to do so.

[Anonymous]

So incredibly rude.

[Anonymous]

Please don't do this...

[Anonymous]

The niece might not even like you?

[Anonymous]

I came on here thinking you had an extremely valid reason for asking a bridesmaid to step down. OP this is not a valid reason and it's not nice. You have no way of knowing if she would be cool with this. You can give your niece a different role in the wedding or just not include her!!! It's okay- your bridesmaids were already chosen prior to your relationship blooming. I'm actually scratching my head wondering how on Earth you thought this would be an acceptable thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Why do I think niece-in-law will look better in the dress, or brings something else to the table (a venue? cake-making opportunities?), and rejected friend #5 was just a placeholder anyway?