Is it rude of me to ask a bridesmaid to step down? Here is why..

[Anonymous]

I'm getting married next September and although I wanted 8 bridesmaids, I compromised with fiancé and now have 6. He will only have 5 groomsmen though.
After getting to know his niece, it would mean a lot to me, if she could be one of my bridesmaids. She is only 4 years younger than me.

When we first got engaged, I didn't know her that well. I don't want to continue to off set the bridal party. I want to ask friend if she would mine stepping down and explaining that after thinking about it, it is a hard decision but I would love my future niece in law to be in the ceremony. It is hard choosing which friend to ask to step down, but I'm leaning towards a friend I have known since high school, but we hangout 2 a year or so.
Everyone else I see more regularly. She is a dear friend, but id think she'd understand?..

Has anyone been through this before?..

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do it.

[Anonymous]

Wow...yes. So rude. I don't think there is a way to do this without being a total dick

[Anonymous]

That is a really shitty thing to do, and I wouldn't do it if you have any intention of preserving the friendship after your wedding. "Hey, remember when I said we were so close I wanted you to stand up with me at my wedding? Whatever, you're replaced."

We had an uneven number of attendants at our wedding and the world didn't end. If you're more concerned with the visual symmetry of your wedding than your relationships with your friends, your priorities are really warped.

[Anonymous]

Give her another role in your wedding. Not everyone is dying to serve as your bridesmaid and people won't be devastated not to be one. In fact, newsflash, dcum agrees being a bridesmaid is a pita.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't care because I think bridesmaids are dumb and didn't have any but you know your people. Will your friend be hurt or be like whew! thanks.

[Anonymous]

isn't it already weird that fiance has less attendants than you? I would just add 2 to his side to even things up.

[Anonymous]

Have her stand with the grooms side - wear a dress that matches the suits, and then the lines won't be offset.

[Anonymous]

What the hell care if the lines are "uneven"? This is one of the oddest threads I have seen on dcum which is saying a lot!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:isn't it already weird that fiance has less attendants than you? I would just add 2 to his side to even things up.

Fewer

[Anonymous]

When you say "next September", do you mean next month or next year? If it's next month, then you obviously can't change anything this late.

If it's next year, then I suppose you could do this - only you know how these friends are. I think you have way too many attendants at the wedding anyway. Managing all those people will turn you into a bridezilla. Keeping it simple with your good friends as guests is easier on everyone and you'll have a more meaningful ceremony.

[Anonymous]

Totally rude Bridezilla.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:isn't it already weird that fiance has less attendants than you? I would just add 2 to his side to even things up.

It's not weird. I had two and DH had 6. Who cares.

Yes, I think it's very rude to ask her to step down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have her stand with the grooms side - wear a dress that matches the suits, and then the lines won't be offset.

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you say "next September", do you mean next month or next year? If it's next month, then you obviously can't change anything this late.

If it's next year, then I suppose you could do this - only you know how these friends are. I think you have way too many attendants at the wedding anyway. Managing all those people will turn you into a bridezilla. Keeping it simple with your good friends as guests is easier on everyone and you'll have a more meaningful ceremony.

If OP knew her friend was the type who'd be totally cool with this, she wouldn't be angsting on DCUM about it.