An explanation and request from a mom of a kid with autism

[Anonymous]

Our usual playground has shared toys available (sandbox stuff, bigger plastic vehicles, ride-on toys, etc), so if I were to allow my child to bring a toy, I would let him know that if he leaves it somewhere he needs to be prepared for someone else to play with it because the other children may not know it's a personal toy and not a public one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid doesn't have autism and I think it's annoying as hell when parents let their kids bring toys to the playground. Play with your own stuff at home.

+1 million.

Seriously?

This tells me that the two of you haven't taught your kids that they can't have everything they see. My guess is that your kids either snatch other kids toys or throw a tantrum that they can't have it.

Not the PP, but also someone who does not bring toys to the playground. Playgrounds are communal spaces. It's where kids socialize and learn to play together. This is better accomplished with communal equipment. My kids have their favorite toys and they can play with them as much as they want when were are at home. And they learn to share when we host play dates. But I don't want to invest that much time and energy into either teaching them to share with kids that they had never seen before or to fight off other kids. Just not worth it. Similarly, I don't want to constantly be watching my kids to make sure they don't upset another child by taking their toy.

[Anonymous]

OP, parent with a child with HFA here. Please don't let your child's diagnosis become an excuse for bad behavior. That is doing no favors to your child.

I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm the opposite of it. But If my kid spit at someone we would immediately go home. We would work a lot on interactions involving not spitting. One on one play dates, etc. We would have a reminder every time we went to the playground that one spit means we are going home.

What do the professionals that you are working with suggest that you do?

[Anonymous]

OP just seems like she's looking for a fight. Every response has been defensive and an overreaction. Not worth engaging further.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good god, op here. Your willful insistence on completely refusing to comprehend what I actually said is amazing. I did it ask for special accommodations. I asked that you keep your babies out of playgrounds marked 3-5 and out of the big kid pool arear for 3-5 when there are baby parks and baby playgrounds. You hover over your kids creating a huge logistical block for those of us with kids with special needs who need to closely monitor. You also hugely react if my child say blows a raspberry in your direction. That's not hurrying anyone. It's annoying. Maybe it warrants a telling him off but you frankly can't tell off a child with autism for every odd behavior. So parents telling me, your child just spit at me, etc. these are the issues I'm talking about. My kid isn't aggressive he is odd and it confuses parents more than children.

If you have a hard time believing that my child hasn't been yelled at numerous times for things like making faces at babies, growling at them, spitting, not waiting a turn even when I'm there to hold him back, you don't live in my world and Rabat my point.

As for the other kids with autism being similar I didn't say all but seeking reactions is indeed fairly common.

I really suggest that you arrange for some respite care. See if you can get a day for yourself. Go to the beach or just check into a hotel. Sleep. Get mani pedis. Binge on movies. Have a good cry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good god, op here. Your willful insistence on completely refusing to comprehend what I actually said is amazing. I did it ask for special accommodations. I asked that you keep your babies out of playgrounds marked 3-5 and out of the big kid pool arear for 3-5 when there are baby parks and baby playgrounds. You hover over your kids creating a huge logistical block for those of us with kids with special needs who need to closely monitor. You also hugely react if my child say blows a raspberry in your direction. That's not hurrying anyone. It's annoying. Maybe it warrants a telling him off but you frankly can't tell off a child with autism for every odd behavior. So parents telling me, your child just spit at me, etc. these are the issues I'm talking about. My kid isn't aggressive he is odd and it confuses parents more than children.

If you have a hard time believing that my child hasn't been yelled at numerous times for things like making faces at babies, growling at them, spitting, not waiting a turn even when I'm there to hold him back, you don't live in my world and Rabat my point.

As for the other kids with autism being similar I didn't say all but seeking reactions is indeed fairly common.

This wasn't clear from your original post. You said "young children," which many people would assume to be ~5 and under.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good god, op here. Your willful insistence on completely refusing to comprehend what I actually said is amazing. I did it ask for special accommodations. I asked that you keep your babies out of playgrounds marked 3-5 and out of the big kid pool arear for 3-5 when there are baby parks and baby playgrounds. You hover over your kids creating a huge logistical block for those of us with kids with special needs who need to closely monitor. You also hugely react if my child say blows a raspberry in your direction. That's not hurrying anyone. It's annoying. Maybe it warrants a telling him off but you frankly can't tell off a child with autism for every odd behavior. So parents telling me, your child just spit at me, etc. these are the issues I'm talking about. My kid isn't aggressive he is odd and it confuses parents more than children.

If you have a hard time believing that my child hasn't been yelled at numerous times for things like making faces at babies, growling at them, spitting, not waiting a turn even when I'm there to hold him back, you don't live in my world and Rabat my point.

As for the other kids with autism being similar I didn't say all but seeking reactions is indeed fairly common.

Your kid spitting at someone isn't okay it's just not.
- mom of kid with autism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good god, op here. Your willful insistence on completely refusing to comprehend what I actually said is amazing. I did it ask for special accommodations. I asked that you keep your babies out of playgrounds marked 3-5 and out of the big kid pool arear for 3-5 when there are baby parks and baby playgrounds. You hover over your kids creating a huge logistical block for those of us with kids with special needs who need to closely monitor. You also hugely react if my child say blows a raspberry in your direction. That's not hurrying anyone. It's annoying. Maybe it warrants a telling him off but you frankly can't tell off a child with autism for every odd behavior. So parents telling me, your child just spit at me, etc. these are the issues I'm talking about. My kid isn't aggressive he is odd and it confuses parents more than children.

If you have a hard time believing that my child hasn't been yelled at numerous times for things like making faces at babies, growling at them, spitting, not waiting a turn even when I'm there to hold him back, you don't live in my world and Rabat my point.

As for the other kids with autism being similar I didn't say all but seeking reactions is indeed fairly common.

I really suggest that you arrange for some respite care. See if you can get a day for yourself. Go to the beach or just check into a hotel. Sleep. Get mani pedis. Binge on movies. Have a good cry.

+1000 on this. Parenting a child with SN is HARD and is two steps forward, one step back on the best of days, with no end in sight. You need a break, OP. Do what PP suggested and/or talk to your doctor. I wish you well.

[Anonymous]

OP, seeking reactions is common for all children.

It seems to me that you want everyone to be understanding of you and your child and fail to understand the struggles and needs of all children and parents. Your child has issues. So do others. An autism diagnosis is not an excuse to put yourself or your child on a pedestal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, parent with a child with HFA here. Please don't let your child's diagnosis become an excuse for bad behavior. That is doing no favors to your child.

I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm the opposite of it. But If my kid spit at someone we would immediately go home. We would work a lot on interactions involving not spitting. One on one play dates, etc. We would have a reminder every time we went to the playground that one spit means we are going home.

What do the professionals that you are working with suggest that you do?

Doesn't seem like OP is working with any professionals her only tools are yell and ignore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kid has SN especially involving behavioral issues, the best thing you can do for your own sanity is to learn not to give a shit what other people think.

+1 I stopped giving two shits about three years ago. Much easier to get through the day!

[Anonymous]

OP, my son has HFA, and is now 9 years old. I agree that there are certainly some people in this area who are inconsiderate and jerks, and that can be really upsetting. But honestly, I have found that the majority of people have been relatively nice and understanding. No, my child doesn't have a ton of friends, even at 9, but I don't find that people are routinely glaring at us for his behaviors when we are out and about, and I didn't find that when he was younger either. Is it possible you just had a bad experience with someone and are overly focusing on the negative?

[Anonymous]

OP,

You are really not furthering the cause of special needs with that tone and behavior. Shame on you for making our lives even harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, seeking reactions is common for all children.

It seems to me that you want everyone to be understanding of you and your child and fail to understand the struggles and needs of all children and parents. Your child has issues. So do others. An autism diagnosis is not an excuse to put yourself or your child on a pedestal.

Yup, exactly. The world can't revolve around you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good god, op here. Your willful insistence on completely refusing to comprehend what I actually said is amazing. I did it ask for special accommodations. I asked that you keep your babies out of playgrounds marked 3-5 and out of the big kid pool arear for 3-5 when there are baby parks and baby playgrounds. You hover over your kids creating a huge logistical block for those of us with kids with special needs who need to closely monitor. You also hugely react if my child say blows a raspberry in your direction. That's not hurrying anyone. It's annoying. Maybe it warrants a telling him off but you frankly can't tell off a child with autism for every odd behavior. So parents telling me, your child just spit at me, etc. these are the issues I'm talking about. My kid isn't aggressive he is odd and it confuses parents more than children.

If you have a hard time believing that my child hasn't been yelled at numerous times for things like making faces at babies, growling at them, spitting, not waiting a turn even when I'm there to hold him back, you don't live in my world and Rabat my point.

As for the other kids with autism being similar I didn't say all but seeking reactions is indeed fairly common.

See, that's not okay