Do money factor into you marrying your husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this post for real?
If so-- if talking to your wealthy SAHM friends makes you feel like you are missing out on something important by marrying this guy, do him and yourself a favor and don't marry him.

+1 If you already feel like what he offers you isn't good enough, do him a huge favor and DON'T MARRY HIM.

+1. If this is how you think, it's unlikely you'll be able to suppress these feeling and resentment will grow. The little things before marriage become the big things after marriage. Trust me.

[Anonymous]

I considered whether he was financially responsible. He had a solid work history, he owned his own condo, he saved money, and he was a reasonable spender. He had some professional ambition but wasn't a workaholic. I did not consider his salary. I wanted someone who was a grownup and would contribute. I expected to work, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Choosing money over love? That's called gold digging at best and prostitution at worst. You deserve what you will get.

Probably a happy life, lol. Men marry for sex and often for youth. If it works for the couple that's a good marriage.

[Anonymous]

I didn't marry for money though I knew he had ambition and potential. His parents were comfortable but we never benefited directly from that until we had been married 35 years. While love was the driver along with feeling he'd be a good husband and father there is no doubt that his long term earning potential was good. Frankly, he's done far better than I could have ever hoped plus been a great husband and father. If he has ambition and potential then you should be fine!

[Anonymous]

Yes a big factor. Also, being responsible with money management and being ok with a wife that stayed home. It's worked out well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Choosing money over love? That's called gold digging at best and prostitution at worst. You deserve what you will get.

Probably a happy life, lol. Men marry for sex and often for youth. If it works for the couple that's a good marriage.

Oh, let's be serious. OP will marry some un-sexy mediocre-personality guy with tons of money. Then pop out three babies. Then he'll be posting here about his sexless marriage, and she'll be posting about how she hates him for never helping out around the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did the financial status of your husband or lack thereof have anything to do with your decision to marry him?

I am engaged to a lovely, hard working honest decent man from a middle class background. His parents are broke and will need support. My parents are broke and I already support them.

My fiancé earns 90k. I earn 50k.

I am not sure how much more he will earn. He has no savings, I have about 20k in savings. I love him and we are a good team however, I know upon marriage I will never be financially comfortable.

I look at girls I know who married money. They seem happy and comfortable. Its hard to be the only "poor" one out.

You'd be surprised at some of those you think are doing well. Honestly, managing your money and wisely investing makes a big difference. With both of you it shouldn't be a problem. Helping parents is ok, NOT supporting them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Choosing money over love? That's called gold digging at best and prostitution at worst. You deserve what you will get.

Probably a happy life, lol. Men marry for sex and often for youth. If it works for the couple that's a good marriage.

Women marry appreciating assets. Men marry depreciating assets. Men are stupid. They should lease.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't marry for money though I knew he had ambition and potential. His parents were comfortable but we never benefited directly from that until we had been married 35 years. While love was the driver along with feeling he'd be a good husband and father there is no doubt that his long term earning potential was good. Frankly, he's done far better than I could have ever hoped plus been a great husband and father. If he has ambition and potential then you should be fine!

Hate to be rude, but you're kind of hijacking OP's question and turning into what your marriage is/isn't. I just don't see how this will be helpful for OP.

[Anonymous]

It wasn't for me because I had much higher earning potential and was fine with that. I continue to earn a healthy income. After 20 years DH left the govt and now does very well. So it turned out well financially but definitely not the reason for getting married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess none of us would marry another person who is a slacker. It is always a consideration what kind of life you will be able to have together.

In your situation, I would expect that you complain if you earn $250k and your fiancé $90k. If you earn so little, do not expect to marry a wealthy guy. The rich also want to marry rich.

My fiancé is not a slacker at all! He works a lot and takes his professional life very seriously. I am comparing my situation to my friends who were legal assistants and customer service reps before they married wealthy men and have gone the SAHM route. Now they talk to me about their houses and financial planners. I feel left out and sort of annoyed.

OP, how do you know who has what? You people actually talk about this stuff? If someone asked me or DH, we would either not answer you or give you the wrong information, so you would back off. Then, I would question your motives, then I would probably not bother with you. Most people marry young and poor. For better, worse, richer, poorer, all that. That, and the rich people I know want their own kind (like PP stated). They know who is sniffing around for what (even if they try to hide it, which they can not) - what part of that is appealing?

[Anonymous]

It was a factor in who I decided to date. But I can't imagine getting to the point you are talking about marriage and then breaking up over it.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's ok to have a bottom line for earning and potential. We all have our dealbreakers. But, if you are holding out for a man who make $300k plus, and it handsome and kind, you are shooting for a 1%. Are you a 1% for women? Fun, young, super attractive, great in bed? If not, you aren't being realistic about what you can land.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was a factor in who I decided to date. But I can't imagine getting to the point you are talking about marriage and then breaking up over it.

+1. And I think it's a big factor for those of us dating for the second time around. The first time I met a man and fell in love we were in our early 20s. He was driven but certainly not rolling in it and with a HS diploma, the odds of him making it big financially were stacked against him. Then again at that time I was making $18K/yr so really I had no room to talk. We both grew and developed. He now makes $500K and I make $200K. We divorced and now I'm dating again. It would be very hard for me to date a man that made less than I do.

[Anonymous]

Not at all.
But intellect, degrees and diploma did, even though I knew, since he was doing research, that they would not translate to a high HHI.