Do money factor into you marrying your husband?

[Anonymous]

Yes. He had a job, he was super smart, I saw him advancing - all of those DID play a factor. I met his family, they had similar values. ... but things change. People get laid off, family money can be squandered. Jobs & expertise can evaporate. Desire to work and ambition can change!

[Anonymous]

Money factored in in the sense that he needed to be gainfully employed and not deep in debt or a profligate gambler or something. I'm certain he felt the same way. But no, I didn't "marry for money" in the sense of trying to find someone to set me up on a life of leisure. Outlook and effort matter more in how you're going to feel about your husband day-to-day, and the few women I know well enough to talk openly about our relationships that are married to really high earners have a different set of problems that I personally would not handle well (feeling devalued by their partner or treated like an employee or subordinate, feeling judged by people looking at their relationship from the outside).

[Anonymous]

It did indirectly! I had my MBA and I was pretty career oriented and ambitious so I was looking for someone like minded. His family wasn’t wealthy but you could see that his parents instilled great values and all of his siblings had pretty lofty goals. Many years later they have all been very successful, including my husband, so I made the right choice. I also did well myself so I didn’t take a free ride.

[Anonymous]

Step 1: secure the bag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did the financial status of your husband or lack thereof have anything to do with your decision to marry him?

I am engaged to a lovely, hard working honest decent man from a middle class background. His parents are broke and will need support. My parents are broke and I already support them.

My fiancé earns 90k. I earn 50k.

I am not sure how much more he will earn. He has no savings, I have about 20k in savings. I love him and we are a good team however, I know upon marriage I will never be financially comfortable.

I look at girls I know who married money. They seem happy and comfortable. Its hard to be the only "poor" one out.

You don't need to change partner, you need to change career or find a lucrative side gig.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went on 4 dates with a woman when we were in law school. On the fourth date she told me that she wanted to SAHM. I told her that while I appreciated her honesty, I could not move forward with our relationship knowing her motives. I have not spoken to her since she dropped out.

Nice story bro but not true. She would not have dropped out.

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course it did. I knew I wanted to be a SAHM. But even if I wanted to continue my career, it would matter. Raising kids takes a lot of resources; a significant time, money, or both. Either you as a parent have to provide that or have enough money to outsource a lot of it.

[Anonymous]

Do you want kids with him? That makes a difference.

[Anonymous]

Yes if you like him marry him. Pray to God to support your family and continue to work hard. Your blessings will come, being loved is one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Choosing money over love? That's called gold digging at best and prostitution at worst. You deserve what you will get.

Probably a happy life, lol. Men marry for sex and often for youth. If it works for the couple that's a good marriage.

Men don't marry for sex. They can get sex anywhere. They marry for status and due to social pressure. Or, if they want kids.

[Anonymous]

No. I was making okay money and he was in school. I didn't know what kind of money he'd make when he was done or even if he'd finish school. The only thing that would've made me have doubts was if he had significant debt. Luckily he had none.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's just as easy to marry a rich man as a poor man.

If you're really hot looking, and fun. Otherwise no.

Exactly. You can marry above your SES if you’re thin, on point with style, and have an agreeable personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only a small percentage of men are wealthy and you’re ( and most) are unlikely to even snag one. Most men who are 28 are not making well over 6 figures. The average American salary is $60k.

+1

All the women I know who live a wealthy life got in on the ground floor.

[Anonymous]

90K salary is a bit low. I am 28 years old, and I am working for Homeland Security Department. My salary is almost 230K, not including bonus.

[Anonymous]

I married my husband when he was making 45k after his MA, as an admin in a law office. We were living in an extremely HCOL area. My friends were marrying men who were bankers or programmers making 300k plus, this was in our late twenties. It was important to me that he had no debt and he came from a good family (no family debt either or messed up parent situation). I was also a graduate student at the time so money didn’t matter much to me.

Now, after some tough career transitions, he makes over 200k. I’m glad I married the guy I love and not his salary. My ex-boyfriends who went on to become very high earning - CEO , lawyer - to the extent I know about their lives I have no regrets.