Do money factor into you marrying your husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I empathize. I have questioned the same thing... my fiance makes 115K which is objectively good, but my ex right before him was a VP I-Banker easily bringing in several hundred K a year, and I broke up with him.

I am going to a top-10 business school next year for my MBA and I am concerned it will hurt my relationship given the earning potential of the people I will meet there...

I just keep reminding myself that money doesn't buy happiness. I focus on gratitude and progressing my own career.

In 10 years you will be on here whining about your unhappy marriage and eventual divorce.

[Anonymous]

OP, I mean this sincerely, please stay single. Finances can change in the blink of an eye but your love doesn’t. Marriage is hard enough when you love your partner, and marrying a man solely for money will leave you unhappy and unfulfilled. What happens if the well off ( those are hard to find) man loses his job or ends up broke? There won’t be any love to sustain the relationship and you will be on here complaining about your marriage like most of the posters here.

Not to mention people on here are so out of touch with reality it’s comical. The vast majority of Americans earn less than 6 figures. Only a small percentage of men are wealthy and you’re ( and most) are unlikely to even snag one. Most men who are 28 are not making well over 6 figures. The average American salary is $60k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did the financial status of your husband or lack thereof have anything to do with your decision to marry him?

I am engaged to a lovely, hard working honest decent man from a middle class background. His parents are broke and will need support. My parents are broke and I already support them.

My fiancé earns 90k. I earn 50k.

I am not sure how much more he will earn. He has no savings, I have about 20k in savings. I love him and we are a good team however, I know upon marriage I will never be financially comfortable.

I look at girls I know who married money. They seem happy and comfortable. Its hard to be the only "poor" one out.

My husband had nothing when we married! His parents had done well thankfully but like only to find their own retirement and old age. Not set him up. At one point, I was earning more than him and he loved it! But he has proven to be so ambitious and hard working. I married him for true love (we are in our forties and have been together 25 years) but I am also thankful he provides us and our children with such a great life. Thank you God. He is a very high income earner and is diversified so hopefully this means we will keep doing well we pray!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I mean this sincerely, please stay single. Finances can change in the blink of an eye but your love doesn’t. Marriage is hard enough when you love your partner, and marrying a man solely for money will leave you unhappy and unfulfilled. What happens if the well off ( those are hard to find) man loses his job or ends up broke? There won’t be any love to sustain the relationship and you will be on here complaining about your marriage like most of the posters here.

Not to mention people on here are so out of touch with reality it’s comical. The vast majority of Americans earn less than 6 figures. Only a small percentage of men are wealthy and you’re ( and most) are unlikely to even snag one. Most men who are 28 are not making well over 6 figures. The average American salary is $60k.

It’s true. Marriage is a long slog and only love will sustain you during the toughest parts of it!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess none of us would marry another person who is a slacker. It is always a consideration what kind of life you will be able to have together.

In your situation, I would expect that you complain if you earn $250k and your fiancé $90k. If you earn so little, do not expect to marry a wealthy guy. The rich also want to marry rich.

My fiancé is not a slacker at all! He works a lot and takes his professional life very seriously. I am comparing my situation to my friends who were legal assistants and customer service reps before they married wealthy men and have gone the SAHM route. Now they talk to me about their houses and financial planners. I feel left out and sort of annoyed.

Are your friends hotter than you? The number of potential rich eligible men isn't that high. Unless you're peaking at a 9/10 or a 10/10 with no prior baggage don't hedge your bets on pulling this uber-wealthy stunning bachelor.

If you consider yourself a 9/10 what do other people consider you? Also, men that wealthy aren't stupid. If you're out for money and have nothing to offer there's no incentive for them to commit. When you get successful everything because a game of averages and return on investment. This includes marriages.

This whole side conversation you have going on here is gross. Presumably if the man proposed to her, he thinks she's attractive and you know, actually loves her.

No. PP is 100% right. The top 1% of men are hard to find and they are looking for a hot young chick. OP being 28 is likely already an issue for most of them.

[Anonymous]

OP being 28 is likely already an issue for most of them.

Op is now 34 since this post is from 2017. What happened I wonder?!

[Anonymous]

My criteria was equal earner or more than me.
Almost 20 years ago I made 100k (I work more than one job...and still do). He made 140k.

We are divorced. He had a salary requirement for a wife. Thankfully, I could divorce due to my own earnings.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't marry someone for money, but I wouldn't marry someone who's bad with money.

My husband and I got married when we were 24, neither of us had money at the time. I also firmly believe in making my own money.

But don't marry someone at any income who can't save or budget and overspends or gambles. That's a recipe for disaster.

[Anonymous]

There was a point in time when men dominated the lucrative jobs and earned more women were fine with paying for everything. Now that women no longer need men's money they are no longer okay dating or marrying "down". Women are smart. Most women want that are already made or on a path to be made. Women are not going to take on a "project" with a man who is far from them in terms of money.

[Anonymous]

There was a point in time when men dominated the lucrative jobs and earned more women were fine with men paying for everything. Now that women no longer need men's money they are no longer okay dating or marrying "down". Women are smart. Most women want that are already made or on a path to be made. Women are not going to take on a "project" with a man who is far from them in terms of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did the financial status of your husband or lack thereof have anything to do with your decision to marry him?

I am engaged to a lovely, hard working honest decent man from a middle class background. His parents are broke and will need support. My parents are broke and I already support them.

My fiancé earns 90k. I earn 50k.

I am not sure how much more he will earn. He has no savings, I have about 20k in savings. I love him and we are a good team however, I know upon marriage I will never be financially comfortable.

I look at girls I know who married money. They seem happy and comfortable. Its hard to be the only "poor" one out.

This isnt about the financial status of your potential husband. Its about your broke a$$ parents and his.

[Anonymous]

There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to marry a man who makes 90k. But there is when you only make 50!

There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to marry a man who will need to support his parents. But there is when you support yours!

It seems like this guy will dodge a bullet if you break up now.

[Anonymous]

I would not marry a pauper. So yes, wealth matters.

[Anonymous]

I understand considering the lifestyle you’d like to live.

But I do recall friends turning down men for not earning enough money and ending up single. Isn’t a BF earning $90k > no BF so $0?

[Anonymous]

Absolutely yes. Both times I married. He had to demonstrate he could support himself and make good financial decisions before I’d consider him.