Do money factor into you marrying your husband?

[Anonymous]

Personally, I would not proceed with marrying him unless he has increasing income potential. Life is difficult enough, why make it more difficult?

But, I would not have been in your situation to begin with - smart women know how to weed out men.

Some questions:
1. Does he have debt?
2. Why does he have no savings?
3. Ages?
4. What is your income potential?
5. Are you able to date better (be realistic)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IMO, the only money factor that's worth considering is whether the man is in debt and why he was in debt (e.g., school loans versus gambling debt). You should never judge a person by their salary no matter how high it is because that money is just one catastrophic injury or sickness away from being zero.

+1

[Anonymous]

If I were your boyfriend I would want to know your feelings on this ASAP so I could sign up for Tinder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this post for real?
If so-- if talking to your wealthy SAHM friends makes you feel like you are missing out on something important by marrying this guy, do him and yourself a favor and don't marry him.

+1 If you already feel like what he offers you isn't good enough, do him a huge favor and DON'T MARRY HIM.

[Anonymous]

No but I always dated men who had a similar educational background as me, Ivy or equivalent with graduate degrees. So while money was not a factor, education was and it turned out my DH comes from a wealthy background and makes a very good living.

[Anonymous]

Any reason you can't make your own money?

[Anonymous]

Was it a consideration? of course. We planned to have me SAH, he was maybe out earning me by $40k/year when I quit. I was making $180K or so and him $220. He had the higher upside potential and I have family money. It's worked out beautifully for us.

[Anonymous]

To an extent. My DH has always been a saver. When we married and he made 90k he had $100k saved up (deployments that he pocketed and saved all the money) and had his own condo that he bought and he has been. Contributing to retirement savings since his first job. I think it's important to marry someone who is financially aware and hard working and knows how much is coming in, what the earning potential is and balance that with career satisfaction. DH will never make more than $150k but that's totally ok. His early saving ways (and mine) enabled us to buy a house in a good area, pay for a nanny, travel etc. i bring in about the same amount as he does now and we are true partners in saving and spending.

[Anonymous]

Yes and no. While I was earning more than DH at the time of our marriage, that didn't stop our marriage. I did weed out a few men whom I felt were financial liabilities, limited earning potential who lived with his parents and no retirement savings. I definitely did not want to be responsible for someone else's retirement. I am not sure how I would feel about supporting his parents and our family on $140k per year combined... Not good, most likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not have married a man that I considered to be a slacker or not living up to a basic level of potential.

$90K would CERTAINLY be well within my criteria. Especially if I made barely more than half of that.

Don't be ridiculous.

However, if you are REALLY worried about this, then you probably shouldn't marry him, because he will never live up to your expectations. But trust me, neither will the next guy you find.

My advice to you: Work on gratefulness and your mindset around money and what you expect from your husband. Marry this guy, he sounds great. But seriously work on your expectations or you'll have a miserable marriage, and you'll think it's about money, but it's not.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess none of us would marry another person who is a slacker. It is always a consideration what kind of life you will be able to have together.

In your situation, I would expect that you complain if you earn $250k and your fiancé $90k. If you earn so little, do not expect to marry a wealthy guy. The rich also want to marry rich.

My fiancé is not a slacker at all! He works a lot and takes his professional life very seriously. I am comparing my situation to my friends who were legal assistants and customer service reps before they married wealthy men and have gone the SAHM route. Now they talk to me about their houses and financial planners. I feel left out and sort of annoyed.[/quote]
Friends 1 : You 0 Game Over!!!
Is that what you wanted to hear?

[Anonymous]

No way.

But I also don't think I could marry someone whose parents expect supported. Money flows downhill. I can't believe you already support your parents!

[Anonymous]

Choosing money over love? That's called gold digging at best and prostitution at worst. You deserve what you will get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I would not proceed with marrying him unless he has increasing income potential. Life is difficult enough, why make it more difficult?

But, I would not have been in your situation to begin with - smart women know how to weed out men.

Some questions:
1. Does he have debt?
2. Why does he have no savings?
3. Ages?
4. What is your income potential?
5. Are you able to date better (be realistic)?

I kind of agree with this, but I would also apply these "rules" to myself.

If he is under 30 and willing/wanting to move up, then there's that potential.

How is he with money? Is he frugal, smart with money?

Does he think about retirement savings?

Have you both had the "finance" talk? You need to have similar financial goals and stick to them.

[Anonymous]

Your fiance is probably thinking the same thing. Should I be looking for a wife with higher earning potential.