s/o please stop derailing/diagnosis lawyering/etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just ignore posts that demand that the poster acknowledge that her child has a disorder rather than a delay or that a neuropsych is needed if a reasonable determination has been made that one is not or that something is MERLD and much better than ASD unless you want to fall into the quagmire on this thread which is the most unhelpful part of this community, that is, one upping in terms of diagnosis, or making sure that everyone elses' child is as or more disabled than your own. Unfortunately, those posters exist and are very active.

And then there is chess mom, whose child is brilliant, a model, a prodigy, very social and friendly and you would never ever know he had ASD and they have had more accommodations than anyone else ever even though they apparently never really even needed them and whose child will beat you and everyone else at life and go to an Ivy.

Honestly, just ignore posters that are just furthering their own agenda, making posts about their own situation entirely, or have nothing useful to say. There is no "stopping" them.

-Chess mom here. You really have a "thing" for me don't you? I haven't posted on this thread until now and I don't know why you are attacking me except you have issues that makes you feel better attacking other parents of SN kids.

My child gets a lot of services and accommodations because he is lucky enough to go to a mainstream public school with teachers and admins that cares about their kids with SNs and he was evaluated and got a diagnosis at the school's suggestion that he may have issues in preK. DS is brilliant (has a very high IQ), modeled as a baby, a chess prodigy, and has an IEP for ASD/ADHD. Do you have a problem with that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ignore posts that demand that the poster acknowledge that her child has a disorder rather than a delay or that a neuropsych is needed if a reasonable determination has been made that one is not or that something is MERLD and much better than ASD unless you want to fall into the quagmire on this thread which is the most unhelpful part of this community, that is, one upping in terms of diagnosis, or making sure that everyone elses' child is as or more disabled than your own. Unfortunately, those posters exist and are very active.

And then there is chess mom, whose child is brilliant, a model, a prodigy, very social and friendly and you would never ever know he had ASD and they have had more accommodations than anyone else ever even though they apparently never really even needed them and whose child will beat you and everyone else at life and go to an Ivy.

Honestly, just ignore posters that are just furthering their own agenda, making posts about their own situation entirely, or have nothing useful to say. There is no "stopping" them.

-Chess mom here. You really have a "thing" for me don't you? I haven't posted on this thread until now and I don't know why you are attacking me except you have issues that makes you feel better attacking other parents of SN kids.

My child gets a lot of services and accommodations because he is lucky enough to go to a mainstream public school with teachers and admins that cares about their kids with SNs and he was evaluated and got a diagnosis at the school's suggestion that he may have issues in preK. DS is brilliant (has a very high IQ), modeled as a baby, a chess prodigy, and has an IEP for ASD/ADHD. Do you have a problem with that?

why on earth would I have a problem with that> IDGAF and neither does anyone else. I have a problem with YOU coming in on literally every thread where parents are worried, anxious, sad, etc., telling us all yet again, in your totally tone deaf way, how brilliant/amazing/accomplished YOUR son is. Do you not see how that is wildly insensitive, esp in certain contexts? I don't think you do, at all, which is why I, unlike you, am not AT ALL surprised that your son has ASD. You clearly have a hard time with social cues and graces and appropriate times to boast.

[Anonymous]

OP you should have just said, "please stop being an anonymous internet message board".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ignore posts that demand that the poster acknowledge that her child has a disorder rather than a delay or that a neuropsych is needed if a reasonable determination has been made that one is not or that something is MERLD and much better than ASD unless you want to fall into the quagmire on this thread which is the most unhelpful part of this community, that is, one upping in terms of diagnosis, or making sure that everyone elses' child is as or more disabled than your own. Unfortunately, those posters exist and are very active.

And then there is chess mom, whose child is brilliant, a model, a prodigy, very social and friendly and you would never ever know he had ASD and they have had more accommodations than anyone else ever even though they apparently never really even needed them and whose child will beat you and everyone else at life and go to an Ivy.

Honestly, just ignore posters that are just furthering their own agenda, making posts about their own situation entirely, or have nothing useful to say. There is no "stopping" them.

-Chess mom here. You really have a "thing" for me don't you? I haven't posted on this thread until now and I don't know why you are attacking me except you have issues that makes you feel better attacking other parents of SN kids.

My child gets a lot of services and accommodations because he is lucky enough to go to a mainstream public school with teachers and admins that cares about their kids with SNs and he was evaluated and got a diagnosis at the school's suggestion that he may have issues in preK. DS is brilliant (has a very high IQ), modeled as a baby, a chess prodigy, and has an IEP for ASD/ADHD. Do you have a problem with that?

why on earth would I have a problem with that> IDGAF and neither does anyone else. I have a problem with YOU coming in on literally every thread where parents are worried, anxious, sad, etc., telling us all yet again, in your totally tone deaf way, how brilliant/amazing/accomplished YOUR son is. Do you not see how that is wildly insensitive, esp in certain contexts? I don't think you do, at all, which is why I, unlike you, am not AT ALL surprised that your son has ASD. You clearly have a hard time with social cues and graces and appropriate times to boast.

Like I said, I haven't posted on this thread until you address me directly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ignore posts that demand that the poster acknowledge that her child has a disorder rather than a delay or that a neuropsych is needed if a reasonable determination has been made that one is not or that something is MERLD and much better than ASD unless you want to fall into the quagmire on this thread which is the most unhelpful part of this community, that is, one upping in terms of diagnosis, or making sure that everyone elses' child is as or more disabled than your own. Unfortunately, those posters exist and are very active.

And then there is chess mom, whose child is brilliant, a model, a prodigy, very social and friendly and you would never ever know he had ASD and they have had more accommodations than anyone else ever even though they apparently never really even needed them and whose child will beat you and everyone else at life and go to an Ivy.

Honestly, just ignore posters that are just furthering their own agenda, making posts about their own situation entirely, or have nothing useful to say. There is no "stopping" them.

-Chess mom here. You really have a "thing" for me don't you? I haven't posted on this thread until now and I don't know why you are attacking me except you have issues that makes you feel better attacking other parents of SN kids.

My child gets a lot of services and accommodations because he is lucky enough to go to a mainstream public school with teachers and admins that cares about their kids with SNs and he was evaluated and got a diagnosis at the school's suggestion that he may have issues in preK. DS is brilliant (has a very high IQ), modeled as a baby, a chess prodigy, and has an IEP for ASD/ADHD. Do you have a problem with that?

why on earth would I have a problem with that> IDGAF and neither does anyone else. I have a problem with YOU coming in on literally every thread where parents are worried, anxious, sad, etc., telling us all yet again, in your totally tone deaf way, how brilliant/amazing/accomplished YOUR son is. Do you not see how that is wildly insensitive, esp in certain contexts? I don't think you do, at all, which is why I, unlike you, am not AT ALL surprised that your son has ASD. You clearly have a hard time with social cues and graces and appropriate times to boast.

Like I said, I haven't posted on this thread until you address me directly.

You may think I am boasting but my kid gets amazing supports. I think most parents want to hear about what is possible if schools are willing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ignore posts that demand that the poster acknowledge that her child has a disorder rather than a delay or that a neuropsych is needed if a reasonable determination has been made that one is not or that something is MERLD and much better than ASD unless you want to fall into the quagmire on this thread which is the most unhelpful part of this community, that is, one upping in terms of diagnosis, or making sure that everyone elses' child is as or more disabled than your own. Unfortunately, those posters exist and are very active.

And then there is chess mom, whose child is brilliant, a model, a prodigy, very social and friendly and you would never ever know he had ASD and they have had more accommodations than anyone else ever even though they apparently never really even needed them and whose child will beat you and everyone else at life and go to an Ivy.

Honestly, just ignore posters that are just furthering their own agenda, making posts about their own situation entirely, or have nothing useful to say. There is no "stopping" them.

-Chess mom here. You really have a "thing" for me don't you? I haven't posted on this thread until now and I don't know why you are attacking me except you have issues that makes you feel better attacking other parents of SN kids.

My child gets a lot of services and accommodations because he is lucky enough to go to a mainstream public school with teachers and admins that cares about their kids with SNs and he was evaluated and got a diagnosis at the school's suggestion that he may have issues in preK. DS is brilliant (has a very high IQ), modeled as a baby, a chess prodigy, and has an IEP for ASD/ADHD. Do you have a problem with that?

why on earth would I have a problem with that> IDGAF and neither does anyone else. I have a problem with YOU coming in on literally every thread where parents are worried, anxious, sad, etc., telling us all yet again, in your totally tone deaf way, how brilliant/amazing/accomplished YOUR son is. Do you not see how that is wildly insensitive, esp in certain contexts? I don't think you do, at all, which is why I, unlike you, am not AT ALL surprised that your son has ASD. You clearly have a hard time with social cues and graces and appropriate times to boast.

Like I said, I haven't posted on this thread until you address me directly.

You may think I am boasting but my kid gets amazing supports. I think most parents want to hear about what is possible if schools are willing.

I am sure that will be most helpful for all the other model-esque, brilliant, prodigy, Ivy-league bound or bust SN kids out there. I just bet that message resonates with so many. And I am sorry, but you ARE boasting most of the time and it just NOT appropriate. Although your child received supports, I am sure you would be the FIRST to say he would have been successful regardless.

[Anonymous]

My brilliant, chess prodigy, above grade level kid has had an IEP and a diagnosis since he was 4 yrs old. Early intervention, supports and services works. As does getting a good neuropsych eval at a young age that tells you what are the strengths and weaknesses and can anticipate what supports and services are needed.

DS certainly would not be these things without a lot of help from adults. That is the point I'm trying to make.

I am sorry that my DS's good outcome so far pains you so much to hear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ignore posts that demand that the poster acknowledge that her child has a disorder rather than a delay or that a neuropsych is needed if a reasonable determination has been made that one is not or that something is MERLD and much better than ASD unless you want to fall into the quagmire on this thread which is the most unhelpful part of this community, that is, one upping in terms of diagnosis, or making sure that everyone elses' child is as or more disabled than your own. Unfortunately, those posters exist and are very active.

And then there is chess mom, whose child is brilliant, a model, a prodigy, very social and friendly and you would never ever know he had ASD and they have had more accommodations than anyone else ever even though they apparently never really even needed them and whose child will beat you and everyone else at life and go to an Ivy.

Honestly, just ignore posters that are just furthering their own agenda, making posts about their own situation entirely, or have nothing useful to say. There is no "stopping" them.

-Chess mom here. You really have a "thing" for me don't you? I haven't posted on this thread until now and I don't know why you are attacking me except you have issues that makes you feel better attacking other parents of SN kids.

My child gets a lot of services and accommodations because he is lucky enough to go to a mainstream public school with teachers and admins that cares about their kids with SNs and he was evaluated and got a diagnosis at the school's suggestion that he may have issues in preK. DS is brilliant (has a very high IQ), modeled as a baby, a chess prodigy, and has an IEP for ASD/ADHD. Do you have a problem with that?

NP here but even I recognize you because you somehow managed to bring up your brilliant, ASD, model 17 year old DS in a thread about marriage and what it will be like when he eventually marries. It's kinda weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ignore posts that demand that the poster acknowledge that her child has a disorder rather than a delay or that a neuropsych is needed if a reasonable determination has been made that one is not or that something is MERLD and much better than ASD unless you want to fall into the quagmire on this thread which is the most unhelpful part of this community, that is, one upping in terms of diagnosis, or making sure that everyone elses' child is as or more disabled than your own. Unfortunately, those posters exist and are very active.

And then there is chess mom, whose child is brilliant, a model, a prodigy, very social and friendly and you would never ever know he had ASD and they have had more accommodations than anyone else ever even though they apparently never really even needed them and whose child will beat you and everyone else at life and go to an Ivy.

Honestly, just ignore posters that are just furthering their own agenda, making posts about their own situation entirely, or have nothing useful to say. There is no "stopping" them.

-Chess mom here. You really have a "thing" for me don't you? I haven't posted on this thread until now and I don't know why you are attacking me except you have issues that makes you feel better attacking other parents of SN kids.

My child gets a lot of services and accommodations because he is lucky enough to go to a mainstream public school with teachers and admins that cares about their kids with SNs and he was evaluated and got a diagnosis at the school's suggestion that he may have issues in preK. DS is brilliant (has a very high IQ), modeled as a baby, a chess prodigy, and has an IEP for ASD/ADHD. Do you have a problem with that?

NP here but even I recognize you because you somehow managed to bring up your brilliant, ASD, model 17 year old DS in a thread about marriage and what it will be like when he eventually marries. It's kinda weird.

Nope. must be another brillant ASD kid who models bc my DS is 9 yrs old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brilliant, chess prodigy, above grade level kid has had an IEP and a diagnosis since he was 4 yrs old. Early intervention, supports and services works. As does getting a good neuropsych eval at a young age that tells you what are the strengths and weaknesses and can anticipate what supports and services are needed.

DS certainly would not be these things without a lot of help from adults. That is the point I'm trying to make.

I am sorry that my DS's good outcome so far pains you so much to hear.

Those things do not "work" for the majority of SN kids. They might help, yes. They are not going to "cure" or alleviate the problem for most of our kids. Of course it does not pain me to hear. I am glad for you that your child is a success and glad for him. But I think you often turn posts about entirely different situations into opportunities to extol your son's many talents and gifts, even ones about children who clearly are not going to be able to participate in society at that level. I think you are a narcissist and you lack empathy. I know 1000 NT kids who are going to be much more successful than my kid, and 1000 SN kids, too. I am fine with that, that is life. But if someone is discussing their child being, say nonverbal, I think you need to not use that as an opportunity to talk about you and your incredibly amazing son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child who is severely disabled and has no diagnosis. She is 10 years old. You really have no idea what you are talking about.

Many families wait years or never get a diagnosis.

People are free to use whatever terms describe their situation -- especially since so many kids fall through the cracks. Stop expecting order where there isn't any. You sound like you have problems yourself.

Maybe you missed the posts, but the poster was a mom with older children who never had them evaluated. So you don't have a diagnosis is you never look either.

How do you know they've never been evaluated? If they are in speech therapy, in order at least for our insurance to pay, they have to be regularly evaluated. Not all kids need a neuropsych. We've never had one. Big deal. It isn't going to tell us anything more than the many other evaluations we have had.

That's what the mother said.

I am that mother! You misunderstood me. My older son has been evaluated by his pediatricians (several), ENT's, a half dozen SLP's, had a full scale WISC administered by a psychologist, and seen a neuroscientist who is an expert in apraxia. Everyone concluded that he seems to have low-ish time and multiple major articulation errors. All that and nobody knows why. So we focus on the what and thank God he is getting better with therapy and time. Same story to a lesser degree with ds2.

You realize that evaluations are a form of intervention? Also, you need a full evaluation by a developmental pediatrician and/or a neuropsychological evaluation by a psychologist--not just the WISC. Every professional you mentioned has extremely limited scope. My guess is that you're trying to avoid a diagnosis.

Why do you NEED a an evaluation form a psychologist? If your child has language issues, a psychologist is not trained in language issues so that would make no sense.

Maybe because she is one. I can tell you that they have minimal training (a masters degree ) but strong opinions and a high opinion of themselves.
If your child really has a problem I'd head to the phd's and MD's.

Some people with masters are far better as they have the 1-1 experience and expertise that a MD/PHD who are more of generalists have. Those who evaluate are looking for checkboxes that fit your child. They are not spending time getting to know your child and watch them grow and change. We've been to a mix of specialists and our SLP is far the best out there (but we got lucky) and she really gets our child and does her therapy to my child's needs, changing it as he grows and masters new skills. Having a one time few hour evaluation is far less meaningful (and we've had several). And, when we have had our child evaluated, including recently, no one has anything to recommend beyond what we are doing. My child's IQ is good, no learning disabilities, has friends and doing well overall at school.

But, based on what you are saying, we should keep evaluating to find the route cause, which doesn't really matter at this point nor can anyone tell us as we've tried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you should have just said, "please stop being an anonymous internet message board".

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brilliant, chess prodigy, above grade level kid has had an IEP and a diagnosis since he was 4 yrs old. Early intervention, supports and services works. As does getting a good neuropsych eval at a young age that tells you what are the strengths and weaknesses and can anticipate what supports and services are needed.

DS certainly would not be these things without a lot of help from adults. That is the point I'm trying to make.

I am sorry that my DS's good outcome so far pains you so much to hear.

Those things do not "work" for the majority of SN kids. They might help, yes. They are not going to "cure" or alleviate the problem for most of our kids. Of course it does not pain me to hear. I am glad for you that your child is a success and glad for him. But I think you often turn posts about entirely different situations into opportunities to extol your son's many talents and gifts, even ones about children who clearly are not going to be able to participate in society at that level. I think you are a narcissist and you lack empathy. I know 1000 NT kids who are going to be much more successful than my kid, and 1000 SN kids, too. I am fine with that, that is life. But if someone is discussing their child being, say nonverbal, I think you need to not use that as an opportunity to talk about you and your incredibly amazing son.

Agree with your point, but Chess mom is also trying to reassure a parent, lets say of a toddler, that yes, kids have this but some kids can still thrive, which is what most of us want to hear at that stage. Not, hey, your kid is never going to talk or get a job. We heard a mix of your kid and honestly, none of it is helpful as every child is different and depending on who they are impacts everything. We do know kids with higher IQ's like Chess mom's will do better. That's just common sense. But, you are right, the bragging is a bit over the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you should have just said, "please stop being an anonymous internet message board".

This

Well, it's anonymous, but not unmoderated. Jeff actually moderates fairly closely when things are brought to his attention, and he is generally very good about keeping inappropriate/derailing things out of the Special Needs board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ignore posts that demand that the poster acknowledge that her child has a disorder rather than a delay or that a neuropsych is needed if a reasonable determination has been made that one is not or that something is MERLD and much better than ASD unless you want to fall into the quagmire on this thread which is the most unhelpful part of this community, that is, one upping in terms of diagnosis, or making sure that everyone elses' child is as or more disabled than your own. Unfortunately, those posters exist and are very active.

And then there is chess mom, whose child is brilliant, a model, a prodigy, very social and friendly and you would never ever know he had ASD and they have had more accommodations than anyone else ever even though they apparently never really even needed them and whose child will beat you and everyone else at life and go to an Ivy.

Honestly, just ignore posters that are just furthering their own agenda, making posts about their own situation entirely, or have nothing useful to say. There is no "stopping" them.

-Chess mom here. You really have a "thing" for me don't you? I haven't posted on this thread until now and I don't know why you are attacking me except you have issues that makes you feel better attacking other parents of SN kids.

My child gets a lot of services and accommodations because he is lucky enough to go to a mainstream public school with teachers and admins that cares about their kids with SNs and he was evaluated and got a diagnosis at the school's suggestion that he may have issues in preK. DS is brilliant (has a very high IQ), modeled as a baby, a chess prodigy, and has an IEP for ASD/ADHD. Do you have a problem with that?

why on earth would I have a problem with that> IDGAF and neither does anyone else. I have a problem with YOU coming in on literally every thread where parents are worried, anxious, sad, etc., telling us all yet again, in your totally tone deaf way, how brilliant/amazing/accomplished YOUR son is. Do you not see how that is wildly insensitive, esp in certain contexts? I don't think you do, at all, which is why I, unlike you, am not AT ALL surprised that your son has ASD. You clearly have a hard time with social cues and graces and appropriate times to boast.

Like I said, I haven't posted on this thread until you address me directly.

You may think I am boasting but my kid gets amazing supports. I think most parents want to hear about what is possible if schools are willing.

The problem with that, is yes, its nice to hear, but many of us are at well regarded school, but when it comes to our specific kids, they often fall through the cracks. Mine has and we do everything privately. You are lucky if the school supports your child, but not all of us are in that situation and spend a small fortune to get our kids caught up.

P.S. lots of kids are good looking (mine is but I'd never think that is a bragging point) and smart.