s/o please stop derailing/diagnosis lawyering/etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ignore posts that demand that the poster acknowledge that her child has a disorder rather than a delay or that a neuropsych is needed if a reasonable determination has been made that one is not or that something is MERLD and much better than ASD unless you want to fall into the quagmire on this thread which is the most unhelpful part of this community, that is, one upping in terms of diagnosis, or making sure that everyone elses' child is as or more disabled than your own. Unfortunately, those posters exist and are very active.

And then there is chess mom, whose child is brilliant, a model, a prodigy, very social and friendly and you would never ever know he had ASD and they have had more accommodations than anyone else ever even though they apparently never really even needed them and whose child will beat you and everyone else at life and go to an Ivy.

Honestly, just ignore posters that are just furthering their own agenda, making posts about their own situation entirely, or have nothing useful to say. There is no "stopping" them.

-Chess mom here. You really have a "thing" for me don't you? I haven't posted on this thread until now and I don't know why you are attacking me except you have issues that makes you feel better attacking other parents of SN kids.

My child gets a lot of services and accommodations because he is lucky enough to go to a mainstream public school with teachers and admins that cares about their kids with SNs and he was evaluated and got a diagnosis at the school's suggestion that he may have issues in preK. DS is brilliant (has a very high IQ), modeled as a baby, a chess prodigy, and has an IEP for ASD/ADHD. Do you have a problem with that?

NP here but even I recognize you because you somehow managed to bring up your brilliant, ASD, model 17 year old DS in a thread about marriage and what it will be like when he eventually marries. It's kinda weird.

Nope. must be another brillant ASD kid who models bc my DS is 9 yrs old.

Oh you're right you never said 17. However, this comment is definitely you:

"This is exactly the kind of husband DS will be. At first his Asbergers and ADHD made the former principal at his school want him to leave. But now they like him because he raises their math and reading scores. But he's still a discipline problem because of his stubbornness. They are trying to teach him to write poetry, but he just won't do it. The men in my family have always been poets. My dad wrote lyrics for musicals, and I used to write a lot of poetry. I've offered to help him but he's not in

Something went wrong with my last post. Anyway, he has to take social skills classes and hates it. When we take him to school all the kids call out his name and say hi, but he ignores them. I guess he's popular because he's got exotic Eurasian good looks. He's a national chess champion, and is unbeatable in UNO and Connect Four. But like many with Asbergers, he's focused on particular thing. In his case, it's elevators. Whenever we take him to chess tournaments, he wants to go to all the local hotels and ride the elevators. We even took him to Disney World but all he wanted to do was go to the local hotels and ride elevators.

I can't imagine what kind of husband he will be. He had a job as a magazine model before we moved here from NYC and I think he'll be good looking enough to attract women at the outset, but whoever ends up with him will have to be very easy going and patient."

So you definitely do go talking about this all the time all over the place, enough to where people recognize you and kind of wish you'd stop. We get it, he's stunning intelligent and handsome and better than all other SN kids. He's 9, why are you even talking about what he'll be like as a husband one day?

You partly had my full support, but its very strange you are so focused on looks and saying that is the only thing getting your kid friends. At some point, boys only partially care about looks and its a bit of everything. My kid is completely turned off by the ADHD kids at school and avoids them due to their rough behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ignore posts that demand that the poster acknowledge that her child has a disorder rather than a delay or that a neuropsych is needed if a reasonable determination has been made that one is not or that something is MERLD and much better than ASD unless you want to fall into the quagmire on this thread which is the most unhelpful part of this community, that is, one upping in terms of diagnosis, or making sure that everyone elses' child is as or more disabled than your own. Unfortunately, those posters exist and are very active.

And then there is chess mom, whose child is brilliant, a model, a prodigy, very social and friendly and you would never ever know he had ASD and they have had more accommodations than anyone else ever even though they apparently never really even needed them and whose child will beat you and everyone else at life and go to an Ivy.

Honestly, just ignore posters that are just furthering their own agenda, making posts about their own situation entirely, or have nothing useful to say. There is no "stopping" them.

-Chess mom here. You really have a "thing" for me don't you? I haven't posted on this thread until now and I don't know why you are attacking me except you have issues that makes you feel better attacking other parents of SN kids.

My child gets a lot of services and accommodations because he is lucky enough to go to a mainstream public school with teachers and admins that cares about their kids with SNs and he was evaluated and got a diagnosis at the school's suggestion that he may have issues in preK. DS is brilliant (has a very high IQ), modeled as a baby, a chess prodigy, and has an IEP for ASD/ADHD. Do you have a problem with that?

NP here but even I recognize you because you somehow managed to bring up your brilliant, ASD, model 17 year old DS in a thread about marriage and what it will be like when he eventually marries. It's kinda weird.

Nope. must be another brillant ASD kid who models bc my DS is 9 yrs old.

Oh you're right you never said 17. However, this comment is definitely you:

"This is exactly the kind of husband DS will be. At first his Asbergers and ADHD made the former principal at his school want him to leave. But now they like him because he raises their math and reading scores. But he's still a discipline problem because of his stubbornness. They are trying to teach him to write poetry, but he just won't do it. The men in my family have always been poets. My dad wrote lyrics for musicals, and I used to write a lot of poetry. I've offered to help him but he's not in

Something went wrong with my last post. Anyway, he has to take social skills classes and hates it. When we take him to school all the kids call out his name and say hi, but he ignores them. I guess he's popular because he's got exotic Eurasian good looks. He's a national chess champion, and is unbeatable in UNO and Connect Four. But like many with Asbergers, he's focused on particular thing. In his case, it's elevators. Whenever we take him to chess tournaments, he wants to go to all the local hotels and ride the elevators. We even took him to Disney World but all he wanted to do was go to the local hotels and ride elevators.

I can't imagine what kind of husband he will be. He had a job as a magazine model before we moved here from NYC and I think he'll be good looking enough to attract women at the outset, but whoever ends up with him will have to be very easy going and patient."

So you definitely do go talking about this all the time all over the place, enough to where people recognize you and kind of wish you'd stop. We get it, he's stunning intelligent and handsome and better than all other SN kids. He's 9, why are you even talking about what he'll be like as a husband one day?

I've attacked chess mom on a different thread where I felt she was really misleading about something, but in what you posted I don't see her bragging, everything she said seems on topic (looks and smarts highly relevant to marriage discussion). You seem to have a chip on your shoulder, though.

The hardest thing about being on this board is that other posters gang up on you if you highlight positive attributes about your child, especially related to intelligence, and apparently looks, too. My child is more than his disability. And especially when his advanced abilities are related to his disorder, they should be acknowledged. We have parents of newly diagnosed toddlers here looking for advice in what to expect; they should know there's a wide spectrum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I'm so sad to read this whole thread. Usually this forum is so helpful, but this is almost all people bashing other posters.

I just came on to say that I often appreciate people providing arm-chair diagnoses and lawyering advice. One of the most useful parts of this forum is to get some ideas to think about before going to talk to the professionals. I'm often like a deer in headlights when I do talk to the professionals and thinking through possibilities before I do that is really helpful. Also, I think a lot of us have the problem that if we see a carpenter, they diagnose a nail (or something like that) and it's often helpful for someone to say "Well, maybe instead of a carpenter, you should have seen a plumber...." One of my BIGGEST frustrations is that there's not really one-stop shopping for figuring out how to help my kids. For instance, we spent YEARS seeing urologists and OTs and not one of them told me that daytime urinary incontinence is a not uncommon symptom of ADHD. So whenever I see a post about incontinence, I will suggest to the poster that they consider ADHD, because it might save them years of heartache asking why the constipation protocols and OT and whatever else they are prescribed isn't working.

Anyway, let me echo what another poster said -- assume that people responding are trying to help! Ignore what's not helpful, and report what is truly offensive to Jeff for deletion.

OP here. Helpful contributions sound like this: "When my kid had language problems that did not resolve, I did a full neuropsych and it was really helpful in pinpointing interventions that worked."

Unhelpful PP: "You are a crazy dipsh*t hurting your children and refusing to evaluate them and are in denial about their disorder."

Crazy, OP, dipsh*t was used, but not crazy after many posters saying "you're projecting," "just stop," blah blah blah. Yeah, I lost my temper after repeated ignorant posts.

The fact is a 9 year old still in speech who has never had a full educational evaluation is NOT a LATE BLOOMER. That is fact. So telling someone that it will "just work out ok" when they've just experienced dumb luck and their kid is doing okay for now, is just ridiculous. It doesn't matter if this PP ever pursues a full educational evaluation or not. But her kids has something going on other than a late blooming delay. They may never need an IEP or other supports--doesn't matter. They are not late bloomers. That ship has sailed.

So read the ASHA posts to help you understand what a language disorder is. It is not the same thing as calling someone "disordered." It is not an insult; it is just a fact of life.

Genuine question: Do you not view being in speech therapy as having merit? Nobody said on that other thread that those children were just late bloomers-they're in speech, which requires a diagnosis of at least one speech/language impairment by an SLP. Why is it so important to you that a neuropsych is done? They have a diagnosis and are making progress in their therapy. Why does the diagnosis only count, in your eyes, if it's from a clinical psychologist or dev. pediatrician? They are not experts in the field of language disorders, so, to my mind, that parent has sought out the best and most thorough evaluation for someone demonstrating language delays. If there were concerns in multiple areas of functioning you might be right, but there aren't. Head back to ASHA and read up a bit more on SLI and articulation disorders. You seem to be taking potential comorbidity with learning disabilities as a certainty rather than a possibility.

Genuine answer: There's a difference between developmental apraxia and apraxia:
http://www.asha.org/public/speech/disorders/ChildhoodApraxia/

At age 7 and 9, children who have been diagnosed with apraxia are not "late bloomers." They are not going to outgrow this. The condition (unless accompanied by physical impairments) is neurological. It's not an articulation disorder.

I literally said above, "It doesn't matter if this PP ever pursues a full educational evaluation or not." I don't care. People should use correct terminology, understand the difference between a developmental delay and a disorder, and actually understand their own diagnoses when giving advice to others.

However, if I had two kids (let alone one) with the exact same problem, I probably would either have a neuropsych evaluation or visit from a developmental pediatrician. But it doesn't matter to me what this PP does, I only pointed out to her on the other thread that most likely they have a language disorder since they have aged out of have a developmental delay. She obviously didn't know the difference from her comments on the other thread and this one. (And neither does the OP of this thread.) So I hope that at least two people learned something.

[Anonymous]

Also, PP, you go to a developmental pediatrician and/or a psychologist b/c it's called a "differential diagnosis."

The poster whose kids are in elementary school and still in speech therapy could benefit from this b/c many things cause speech issues and they could be connected to other issues, which may only become more apparent as a child grows. They will probably still need speech therapy in any event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ignore posts that demand that the poster acknowledge that her child has a disorder rather than a delay or that a neuropsych is needed if a reasonable determination has been made that one is not or that something is MERLD and much better than ASD unless you want to fall into the quagmire on this thread which is the most unhelpful part of this community, that is, one upping in terms of diagnosis, or making sure that everyone elses' child is as or more disabled than your own. Unfortunately, those posters exist and are very active.

And then there is chess mom, whose child is brilliant, a model, a prodigy, very social and friendly and you would never ever know he had ASD and they have had more accommodations than anyone else ever even though they apparently never really even needed them and whose child will beat you and everyone else at life and go to an Ivy.

Honestly, just ignore posters that are just furthering their own agenda, making posts about their own situation entirely, or have nothing useful to say. There is no "stopping" them.

-Chess mom here. You really have a "thing" for me don't you? I haven't posted on this thread until now and I don't know why you are attacking me except you have issues that makes you feel better attacking other parents of SN kids.

My child gets a lot of services and accommodations because he is lucky enough to go to a mainstream public school with teachers and admins that cares about their kids with SNs and he was evaluated and got a diagnosis at the school's suggestion that he may have issues in preK. DS is brilliant (has a very high IQ), modeled as a baby, a chess prodigy, and has an IEP for ASD/ADHD. Do you have a problem with that?

NP here but even I recognize you because you somehow managed to bring up your brilliant, ASD, model 17 year old DS in a thread about marriage and what it will be like when he eventually marries. It's kinda weird.

Nope. must be another brillant ASD kid who models bc my DS is 9 yrs old.

Oh you're right you never said 17. However, this comment is definitely you:

"This is exactly the kind of husband DS will be. At first his Asbergers and ADHD made the former principal at his school want him to leave. But now they like him because he raises their math and reading scores. But he's still a discipline problem because of his stubbornness. They are trying to teach him to write poetry, but he just won't do it. The men in my family have always been poets. My dad wrote lyrics for musicals, and I used to write a lot of poetry. I've offered to help him but he's not in

Something went wrong with my last post. Anyway, he has to take social skills classes and hates it. When we take him to school all the kids call out his name and say hi, but he ignores them. I guess he's popular because he's got exotic Eurasian good looks. He's a national chess champion, and is unbeatable in UNO and Connect Four. But like many with Asbergers, he's focused on particular thing. In his case, it's elevators. Whenever we take him to chess tournaments, he wants to go to all the local hotels and ride the elevators. We even took him to Disney World but all he wanted to do was go to the local hotels and ride elevators.

I can't imagine what kind of husband he will be. He had a job as a magazine model before we moved here from NYC and I think he'll be good looking enough to attract women at the outset, but whoever ends up with him will have to be very easy going and patient."

So you definitely do go talking about this all the time all over the place, enough to where people recognize you and kind of wish you'd stop. We get it, he's stunning intelligent and handsome and better than all other SN kids. He's 9, why are you even talking about what he'll be like as a husband one day?

I've attacked chess mom on a different thread where I felt she was really misleading about something, but in what you posted I don't see her bragging, everything she said seems on topic (looks and smarts highly relevant to marriage discussion). You seem to have a chip on your shoulder, though.

The hardest thing about being on this board is that other posters gang up on you if you highlight positive attributes about your child, especially related to intelligence, and apparently looks, too. My child is more than his disability. And especially when his advanced abilities are related to his disorder, they should be acknowledged. We have parents of newly diagnosed to

ddlers here looking for advice in what to expect; they should know there's a wide spectrum.

I actually don't care at all that chess mom highlights her kids good attributes. She's just weirdly intense about it. This was on a thread in relationships titled "your partners worst vice." Somehow she made it about her 9 year old model ASD chess playing DS. Even someone on that thread told her nobody cares about her kids and to please stop. It's like she will shoehorn this brag into any conversation. We get it, he's brilliant and amazing and everyone loves him but he's totally aloof and above it all and basically perfect.!