Help me not have an affair

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell your husband that the other guy is checking you out and ask his advice. It's not admitting to anything on your part, but I guarantee the minute you put this guy on your husband's radar screen, you will look at the other man differently.

I like that strategy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why do guys get married and have kids - it's financial suicide.

You got that right.

Why do women get married and have kids? It's like emotional hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Love is a drug. Don't get addicted. You will end up with more than a hang over. Your fantasy will pass.

I love the fantasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The situation is not really sexual, though that is how it is manifesting itself. The reality is that you are depressed, empty, and bored. The office sexual interest is an escape which perks you up.

The sexual encounter could be great, but the other side will not be so great. Be honest with yourself and see if there is not something else at work here.

Good luck.

This is very true. I know this after having an affair-ending marriage. I'm not sorry my marriage is over, but am sorry for what I did to end it. You asked about therapy -- yes!! Go to therapy. Figure out why you feel this need/why you're having these thoughts. I guarantee you, it is some combination of circumstances and feelings PP notes above. I wish I had gone to therapy before the affair. I doubt I'd have had the affair, and would have been able to exit the marriage with my head held high.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes the pull is just too hard to resist! Maybe go for it but try to just get it out of your system quickly??

[Anonymous]

17:01 back. I mean marriage-ending affair! Weird Freudian slip there. Like I said, therapy

[Anonymous]

I love chocolate. I think about it everyday. All day. I think of different ways to have it. I think I gotta have it. Then I finally eat it.

Then my chest feels like it's going to split wide open and I can't swallow or breathe.

I will never eat chocolate again.

If you eat the forbidden chocolate, you will hurt EVERYONE you say you love.

If you do it anyway, sneak a piece, I hope you get caught.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a person for whom the consequences would be emotionally, occupationally, and economically chaotic. If i am right, this is the last affair you will have, if you do it.

Is it worth it? You have to decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love chocolate. I think about it everyday. All day. I think of different ways to have it. I think I gotta have it. Then I finally eat it.

Then my chest feels like it's going to split wide open and I can't swallow or breathe.

I will never eat chocolate again.

If you eat the forbidden chocolate, you will hurt EVERYONE you say you love.

If you do it anyway, sneak a piece, I hope you get caught.

Chocolate apparently does not love you back. Have some self esteem and stay away from the chocolate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why do guys get married and have kids - it's financial suicide.

You got that right.

Why do women get married and have kids? It's like emotional hell.

Excellent - let's ban marriage and kids

[Anonymous]

What evidence do you have, other than what he has told you, that his marriage is actually open? Because let me tell you--that is one of the oldest stories in the book. It's also something you have latched onto, to prevent you from seeing yourself as a homewrecker.

Now imagine that his marriage is not, in fact, open. Happy with being the whore? My guess is no.

[Anonymous]

I have the same situation with a colleague now. And we've been texting each other for months. I feel like I will die if it does not consummate. Sometimes it's very hard to think rationally about consequences in these situations.

[Anonymous]

Here's the thing. This guy is in an open marriage, he's clearly looking for someone new, and his current target is you. That's why things feel "ramped up" between the two of you. But that doesn't mean that he has your best interest at heart. In fact, it may not even mean that he'd follow through on anything with you. You're just his next new amusement. You're in a long marriage with typical ups and downs are enjoying the new arousal. But no need to take in beyond that.

[Anonymous]

16:46, thank you for the brutally candid post-mortem.

[Anonymous]

Go for it if you are ready to change jobs and willing to get a divorce.