If you decided your husband was no longer "winner" material, would you divorce him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, as long as he didn't turn into a miserable SOB like the pp's husband , I'd (or I would like to believe, at least) be fine. If he lost his job and became a SAHD, that would be great. I don't see that as him being a 'user' at all. IMO, SAHMs aren't users.

I'm a lot less materialistic than he is, though, so I doubt *he* would be ok with such a scenario.

When I said "user" I was referring to someone who was supported by his wife for 20 years, pre-kids. Then stepped up to part time.

[Anonymous]

Well, I'd know my wife wasn't a winner if she couldn't even spell alpha "mail!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he was turning out to be less successful professionally than you thought he would be (like not being partner material), would you consider divorce? What if you were getting the impression that he was turning out to be more "beta" than "alpha" mail in professional or social situations?

It depends on whether or not you are a whore.

This exactly. If I were a whore? Yes. If I were a wife, in the true sense? Would never occur to me.

[Anonymous]

I meant my vows. If we lost everything tomorrow, I would still love my husband. I cannot imagine life without him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he was turning out to be less successful professionally than you thought he would be (like not being partner material), would you consider divorce? What if you were getting the impression that he was turning out to be more "beta" than "alpha" mail in professional or social situations?

So you want to divorce your DH didn't make partner? Wow, you are a jerk. Do you work? Did you make partner? What's stopping you from getting off your as& and getting out there? You are truly pathetic. I hope your DH divorces you first.

[Anonymous]

"I have actually known three women who did this! Three! So I expect some yeses here."

Be careful about what you assume. I know there are people who assume that I did this, but the fact is there was a lot of bad stuff in the marriage that I didn't discuss.

[Anonymous]

So much for those wedding vows, huh? Would you a DW be ok with their DH divorcing them for similar reasons?

[Anonymous]

Is it OK to divorce a wife for being fat and wrinkled?

[Anonymous]

When I met my DH at the age of 20, I just fell in love. It did not even cross my brain if he was alpha or his earing potential. As far as earning potential, we are truly a team and I've never though of him as someone who is required to support me. I've always thought that we would support US and that is how it has been.

In my case, my DH turned out to be a hard worker and moderately ambitious, but he puts family first so he will never be a c-level exec. He enjoys coaching sports teams and likes to be home early. We will "make do" on his 180K/yr salary and mine that is close behind.

I'm in it for life, going 17 years strong since the day we met.

[Anonymous]

My DH turned out to be less intelligent and profound than he seemed when we were dating. I am attracted to men who are smarter than me, and unfortunately he is not.
I am not going to divorce him.

As to the "winner", I don't care about that.

[Anonymous]

A good woman can encourage her man to be as alpha as she wants. Behind every successful man is a smart woman.

[Anonymous]

I have a favorite Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan story. It could be completely fictional - but here goes -

President Reagan and Nancy Reagan were campaigning for his 2nd term. They visited Nancy's hometown on the campaign trail. A carpenter came and said hello to them. He had dated Nancy when she was young. Afterwards, Reagan teased her, "If you would have married him, you would have been the wife of a carpenter!". She replied , "No, if I would have married him, he would have been the President!"

You contribute to your husband's success. Behind every successful man is a woman , and vice versa. So, ladies, if he has been downgraded because he is no longer a "winner", then you have been downgraded as well. It is a partnership. Together you decide on what your goals are, and together you achieve it. You fail or succeed as a couple. You aim high, low or opt out of the rat-race as a couple as well. And you decide what you think is worth pursuing - as a couple!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he was turning out to be less successful professionally than you thought he would be (like not being partner material), would you consider divorce? What if you were getting the impression that he was turning out to be more "beta" than "alpha" mail in professional or social situations?

So you want to divorce your DH didn't make partner? Wow, you are a jerk. Do you work? Did you make partner? What's stopping you from getting off your as& and getting out there? You are truly pathetic. I hope your DH divorces you first.

Not OP but maybe OP is the husband and thinks his wife wants to leave because he didn't make partner and thinks she is not happy with their life? Msybe it's a friend? Its a hypothetical. You don't know which side OP is on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a favorite Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan story. It could be completely fictional - but here goes -

President Reagan and Nancy Reagan were campaigning for his 2nd term. They visited Nancy's hometown on the campaign trail. A carpenter came and said hello to them. He had dated Nancy when she was young. Afterwards, Reagan teased her, "If you would have married him, you would have been the wife of a carpenter!". She replied , "No, if I would have married him, he would have been the President!"

You contribute to your husband's success. Behind every successful man is a woman , and vice versa. So, ladies, if he has been downgraded because he is no longer a "winner", then you have been downgraded as well. It is a partnership. Together you decide on what your goals are, and together you achieve it. You fail or succeed as a couple. You aim high, low or opt out of the rat-race as a couple as well. And you decide what you think is worth pursuing - as a couple!

+1!!! So many men would be lost without their wife's driving force.

[Anonymous]

Everyone man is alpha in some part of his life. It might be the important places (work, business) or it could be over his pet cat. I own a particularly rough business and make upper middle 6 figures, my wife stays home; my wife's friends husbands have said they all want to be like me, one reported having a man crush on me. A few of them are such fucking lightweights; the sense of entitlement is astounding, I can promise you that they've never worked a real hard day in their lives.
From their perspective I'm the alpha, but I feel like the beta when with them because of my lack of formal education. I outearn them but don't feel like I'm better or even equal to them.

I came from shit and work like a dog to give my wife and children everything I didn't have.
If I didn't make it to where I am and found out my wife was running me down I'd hit the door and leave her with scorched fucking earth.

Money is second to hard work, if your guy is lazy then you have every right to get on him, if he works hard and cares about whatever he does then you don't deserve him.