Perspecitive from the mother of a very popular teenage boy or girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it like this for the parents of boys wet worrying about whether they're popular or not?

Have a son who is 16, junior and yes I hate to admit it but I do. I have a younger daughter (7th grade) and if I am anywhere nearly as worried by the time she gets to HS as I am with him I will be a basket case. He changed "groups" because his old friends started smoking and partying heavily. His friends now do party but much less so. I was worried about him finding his place and still feeling a part of things. Yes, I worry every day, silly as it may sound. Guess I need to get back to work, because bottom line he does seem happy.

[Anonymous]

Popular kids are definitely doing drugs, drinking, and having sex. I would prefer mine to be "average" or "unpopular". They really have a lot to manage when they get into stuff they are not ready for. Just adds to an already stressful time in life. I wouldn't want to revisit my adolescence for anything, or have to deal with being the parent of a popular kid. You are lucky, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Popular kids are definitely doing drugs, drinking, and having sex. I would prefer mine to be "average" or "unpopular". They really have a lot to manage when they get into stuff they are not ready for. Just adds to an already stressful time in life. I wouldn't want to revisit my adolescence for anything, or have to deal with being the parent of a popular kid. You are lucky, OP!

I deeply resent this comment. What an ignorant blanket statement! My D is a 16 year old honor student, straight A's, captain of two teams, as hard working as they come and very popular. She DOES NOT do drugs, believes in waiting until marriage to have sex rarely drinks. She does not do the party scene on a regular basis because she practices her sport early mornings on Sat. and Sunday ( a blessing in disguise). I really think you need to retract that statement, you might want to say "in your opinion, many popular kids,etc....." but to lump them all together and make it sound so matter of fact is crazy talk!

[Anonymous]

The idea that anyone is basking in the glory of their teenage child's popularity is so disturbing. Wtf? I hope that was just an unfortunate word choice. The last thing we need is a bunch of middle-aged women running around basking in the glory of such nonsense. I want my children to have good friends, but I would love it if they were slightly nerdy. The nerdy will be running the world. And the popular usually end up with not so great lives. Best not to peak in high school.

[Anonymous]

Oh get over it. You are kidding yourself to not think that I would say MOST mothers secretly DO bask in the glory of their darling little Kate or Will being the ringleader of their peer groups. YES parents (especially competitive moms who wear yoga pants to shop in Whole Foods and drive big shiny SUV's) get off on this kind of thing. For you to think they dont' you are living in another world.

My kids attend a local elite private school and I them coming all day long. My kids are young thankfully too young still for me to even think of this but having gone through it with my step kids to an extent and being very involved in the school/community, I have seen this on full display. They live for their kids to be popular!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Popular kids are definitely doing drugs, drinking, and having sex. I would prefer mine to be "average" or "unpopular". They really have a lot to manage when they get into stuff they are not ready for. Just adds to an already stressful time in life. I wouldn't want to revisit my adolescence for anything, or have to deal with being the parent of a popular kid. You are lucky, OP!

I deeply resent this comment. What an ignorant blanket statement! My D is a 16 year old honor student, straight A's, captain of two teams, as hard working as they come and very popular. She DOES NOT do drugs, believes in waiting until marriage to have sex rarely drinks. She does not do the party scene on a regular basis because she practices her sport early mornings on Sat. and Sunday ( a blessing in disguise). I really think you need to retract that statement, you might want to say "in your opinion, many popular kids,etc....." but to lump them all together and make it sound so matter of fact is crazy talk!

No, she's a jock. There's a difference between jocks and the popular kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The idea that anyone is basking in the glory of their teenage child's popularity is so disturbing. Wtf? I hope that was just an unfortunate word choice. The last thing we need is a bunch of middle-aged women running around basking in the glory of such nonsense. I want my children to have good friends, but I would love it if they were slightly nerdy. The nerdy will be running the world. And the popular usually end up with not so great lives. Best not to peak in high school.

totally agree!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh get over it. You are kidding yourself to not think that I would say MOST mothers secretly DO bask in the glory of their darling little Kate or Will being the ringleader of their peer groups. YES parents (especially competitive moms who wear yoga pants to shop in Whole Foods and drive big shiny SUV's) get off on this kind of thing. For you to think they dont' you are living in another world.

My kids attend a local elite private school and I them coming all day long. My kids are young thankfully too young still for me to even think of this but having gone through it with my step kids to an extent and being very involved in the school/community, I have seen this on full display. They live for their kids to be popular!

Gross. I cannot handle this kind of person and steer far, far away.

[Anonymous]

Read this book stat OP.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0307454444

I was like your daughter in HS. And that's OK. She'll find her place. Maybe it's at college or maybe after she starts working.

Just bask in her and her life.

Mom of two popular boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh get over it. You are kidding yourself to not think that I would say MOST mothers secretly DO bask in the glory of their darling little Kate or Will being the ringleader of their peer groups. YES parents (especially competitive moms who wear yoga pants to shop in Whole Foods and drive big shiny SUV's) get off on this kind of thing. For you to think they dont' you are living in another world.

My kids attend a local elite private school and I them coming all day long. My kids are young thankfully too young still for me to even think of this but having gone through it with my step kids to an extent and being very involved in the school/community, I have seen this on full display. They live for their kids to be popular!

Gross. I cannot handle this kind of person and steer far, far away.

Unfortunately I can nearly assure you, you are surrounded by such parents. I was like you thinking these types are far and few between. And never ever thought for a minute my D's good friends mom was this way, shes a respected lawyer, highly intelligent, etc...until last month her D. called my D. and was on speaker and she thought she hung up but didn't and we got an earful (and then some) of her mother in action chastising her about why she wasn't out on a Friday night and how she was "losing her popularity: and that she better "get with the program or she will end up with the geeks:. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. IT UNBELIEVABLE! On the outside, she is as cool and collected as cucumber. SO trust me when I say it these types are EVERYWHERE. Don't kid yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Popular kids are definitely doing drugs, drinking, and having sex. I would prefer mine to be "average" or "unpopular". They really have a lot to manage when they get into stuff they are not ready for. Just adds to an already stressful time in life. I wouldn't want to revisit my adolescence for anything, or have to deal with being the parent of a popular kid. You are lucky, OP!

I deeply resent this comment. What an ignorant blanket statement! My D is a 16 year old honor student, straight A's, captain of two teams, as hard working as they come and very popular. She DOES NOT do drugs, believes in waiting until marriage to have sex rarely drinks. She does not do the party scene on a regular basis because she practices her sport early mornings on Sat. and Sunday ( a blessing in disguise). I really think you need to retract that statement, you might want to say "in your opinion, many popular kids,etc....." but to lump them all together and make it sound so matter of fact is crazy talk!

No, she's a jock. There's a difference between jocks and the popular kids.

My D is not a jock. She plays field hockey and runs track. She is athletic but very feminine. She I repeat is NOT a jock, IS very popular, possibly the most popular girl in her HS and I repeat DOES NOT do drugs, drink or have sex. Now stop spreading false statements. Please, as a parent you should be more responsible than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Popular kids are definitely doing drugs, drinking, and having sex. I would prefer mine to be "average" or "unpopular". They really have a lot to manage when they get into stuff they are not ready for. Just adds to an already stressful time in life. I wouldn't want to revisit my adolescence for anything, or have to deal with being the parent of a popular kid. You are lucky, OP!

I deeply resent this comment. What an ignorant blanket statement! My D is a 16 year old honor student, straight A's, captain of two teams, as hard working as they come and very popular. She DOES NOT do drugs, believes in waiting until marriage to have sex rarely drinks. She does not do the party scene on a regular basis because she practices her sport early mornings on Sat. and Sunday ( a blessing in disguise). I really think you need to retract that statement, you might want to say "in your opinion, many popular kids,etc....." but to lump them all together and make it sound so matter of fact is crazy talk!

No, she's a jock. There's a difference between jocks and the popular kids.

My D is not a jock. She plays field hockey and runs track. She is athletic but very feminine. She I repeat is NOT a jock, IS very popular, possibly the most popular girl in her HS and I repeat DOES NOT do drugs, drink or have sex. Now stop spreading false statements. Please, as a parent you should be more responsible than that.

Sorry but your are seriously kidding yourself. The good news is that she is able to understand and know her limits so she is not getting drunk or stoned at inappropriate times, not likely to do harder drugs, and is likely good about birth control even if it is just the pull out and pray method.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Popular kids are definitely doing drugs, drinking, and having sex. I would prefer mine to be "average" or "unpopular". They really have a lot to manage when they get into stuff they are not ready for. Just adds to an already stressful time in life. I wouldn't want to revisit my adolescence for anything, or have to deal with being the parent of a popular kid. You are lucky, OP!

I deeply resent this comment. What an ignorant blanket statement! My D is a 16 year old honor student, straight A's, captain of two teams, as hard working as they come and very popular. She DOES NOT do drugs, believes in waiting until marriage to have sex rarely drinks. She does not do the party scene on a regular basis because she practices her sport early mornings on Sat. and Sunday ( a blessing in disguise). I really think you need to retract that statement, you might want to say "in your opinion, many popular kids,etc....." but to lump them all together and make it sound so matter of fact is crazy talk!

No, she's a jock. There's a difference between jocks and the popular kids.

My D is not a jock. She plays field hockey and runs track. She is athletic but very feminine. She I repeat is NOT a jock, IS very popular, possibly the most popular girl in her HS and I repeat DOES NOT do drugs, drink or have sex. Now stop spreading false statements. Please, as a parent you should be more responsible than that.

Who cares if she is a jock? You need to separate yourself from her and stop being so crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh get over it. You are kidding yourself to not think that I would say MOST mothers secretly DO bask in the glory of their darling little Kate or Will being the ringleader of their peer groups. YES parents (especially competitive moms who wear yoga pants to shop in Whole Foods and drive big shiny SUV's) get off on this kind of thing. For you to think they dont' you are living in another world.

My kids attend a local elite private school and I them coming all day long. My kids are young thankfully too young still for me to even think of this but having gone through it with my step kids to an extent and being very involved in the school/community, I have seen this on full display. They live for their kids to be popular!

You are crazy pants. Most parents around here don't care. They weren't popular and are successful. Their children will be the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Popular kids are definitely doing drugs, drinking, and having sex. I would prefer mine to be "average" or "unpopular". They really have a lot to manage when they get into stuff they are not ready for. Just adds to an already stressful time in life. I wouldn't want to revisit my adolescence for anything, or have to deal with being the parent of a popular kid. You are lucky, OP!

I deeply resent this comment. What an ignorant blanket statement! My D is a 16 year old honor student, straight A's, captain of two teams, as hard working as they come and very popular. She DOES NOT do drugs, believes in waiting until marriage to have sex rarely drinks. She does not do the party scene on a regular basis because she practices her sport early mornings on Sat. and Sunday ( a blessing in disguise). I really think you need to retract that statement, you might want to say "in your opinion, many popular kids,etc....." but to lump them all together and make it sound so matter of fact is crazy talk!

No, she's a jock. There's a difference between jocks and the popular kids.

My D is not a jock. She plays field hockey and runs track. She is athletic but very feminine. She I repeat is NOT a jock, IS very popular, possibly the most popular girl in her HS and I repeat DOES NOT do drugs, drink or have sex. Now stop spreading false statements. Please, as a parent you should be more responsible than that.

If your dd isn't very involved in the party scene because of her sports, she's not one of the popular kids. She may be well known and well liked, but the "popular kids" are a different breed. They're known as the "popular kids" but really only popular among themselves and those who want in. Everybody else can't stand them.