Friends don't want to pay for beach house, and think it was my fault?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is not clear at all to be honest. Did you at any point say "the cost to each family will be $x". It seems like you are asking them to pay for incidentals and extras.

on what planet is that not clear? Seriously??? (I'm not the OP).
She talked about settling up, etc.

I really don't think it 100% clear either. Should have said "your share will be X dollars"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is not clear at all to be honest. Did you at any point say "the cost to each family will be $x". It seems like you are asking them to pay for incidentals and extras.

on what planet is that not clear? Seriously??? (I'm not the OP).
She talked about settling up, etc.

I really don't think it 100% clear either. Should have said "your share will be X dollars"

Oh, come on. Are you seriously saying that if you got that e-mail, you'd think OP was paying for the whole house? Sorry, that's bullshit.

[Anonymous]

It's totally clear. Your friends are trying to take advantage of you. It's your choice if you want to let them but I wouldn't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is not clear at all to be honest. Did you at any point say "the cost to each family will be $x". It seems like you are asking them to pay for incidentals and extras.

on what planet is that not clear? Seriously??? (I'm not the OP).
She talked about settling up, etc.

I really don't think it 100% clear either. Should have said "your share will be X dollars"

Oh, come on. Are you seriously saying that if you got that e-mail, you'd think OP was paying for the whole house? Sorry, that's bullshit.

^^^This x1000 - you are getting taken advantage of and I think that is crap. Sorry OP - time for new friends.

[Anonymous]

Unless they only skimmed the email, as you suggest, and thought you were inviting them down for a night, I can't imagine them thinking this was all going to be paid for by you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is not clear at all to be honest. Did you at any point say "the cost to each family will be $x". It seems like you are asking them to pay for incidentals and extras.

on what planet is that not clear? Seriously??? (I'm not the OP).
She talked about settling up, etc.

I really don't think it 100% clear either. Should have said "your share will be X dollars"

Oh, come on. Are you seriously saying that if you got that e-mail, you'd think OP was paying for the whole house? Sorry, that's bullshit.

^^^This x1000 - you are getting taken advantage of and I think that is crap. Sorry OP - time for new friends.

This x 1001. I can't think how anyone, unless she is totally stupid or didn't read the e-mail, could possibly surmise that you were paying for the whole thing. If you're taking someone as your guest, you don't forward the rental costs or the contract! You don't talk about "settling up" because there is nothing to settle.

[Anonymous]

OP - I really think your friend's behavior is odd. Even if I wanted to cover the cost, our friends would INSIST on paying their share - as would DH and I. If we couldn't afford to pay our share, we would simply say we couldn't make it. WHY would your friends want/expect you to cover the cost? It doesn't make sense to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is not clear at all to be honest. Did you at any point say "the cost to each family will be $x". It seems like you are asking them to pay for incidentals and extras.

on what planet is that not clear? Seriously??? (I'm not the OP).
She talked about settling up, etc.

I really don't think it 100% clear either. Should have said "your share will be X dollars"

Oh, come on. Are you seriously saying that if you got that e-mail, you'd think OP was paying for the whole house? Sorry, that's bullshit.

^^^This x1000 - you are getting taken advantage of and I think that is crap. Sorry OP - time for new friends.

This x 1001. I can't think how anyone, unless she is totally stupid or didn't read the e-mail, could possibly surmise that you were paying for the whole thing. If you're taking someone as your guest, you don't forward the rental costs or the contract! You don't talk about "settling up" because there is nothing to settle.

Right! And you would have said, "We want to invite you as our GUESTS. Our treat." And they should have said, "Oh no, we couldn't. Please let us pay half." And you would say something like "no, of course not-we want to do it." And then everyone would know what was expected. Your friends are either from another planet or they are full of shit.

[Anonymous]

I totally think the OPs email was clear that the house was to be shared.

OP, I'm sorry you are going through this. I, too, have experienced this when apparently I wasn't clear that the cost was to be split. In my case, DH and I sucked it up and paid for the entire house. I was bitter and things were strained as the other family thought that them taking us out to dinner was settling up. I've since learned that I must be very concise in my wording.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I don't think the email was clear. I have been involved in a ton of multiple-family trips and never have the communications been this unclear. When dealing with friends and money, everything should be spelled out in detail, including exact amounts. On the other hand, unless OP has previously treated the friends to such trips or there were other communications in which that was discussed, I think they were quite presumptuous.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I can't believe this is happening to you. If I were the friend who assumed this was a free ride, upon being told otherwise, I would immediately offer to pay. That she has not indicates serious bad faith and/or financial problems.

Why is it on the OP to be the "bigger person" and pay for the whole house? The "friend" should be offering to pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Five months ago, we asked friends who live in New Jersey if they wanted to rent a house with us in OBX next week. They were excited, said yes, so I sent them the link of a house we liked. Emailed, and asked them to see if it worked, in terms of accomodations, location, and cost. They wrote back, and said, "Yes! Move forward."

So we did. I paid the lease for the house, and sent them a note about their portion. Received nothing back.

We are all set to go, and my husband requested that I remind them once more about their portion. I gave my friend a call, and she was upset. Assumed we had invited them, not asking that they contribute. They don't plan on going if they have to pay.

I am VERY sure there could not have been confusion or miscommunication. But maybe? These are good friends.

It's a mess. An expensive mess for us.

The NJ people are not on the lease . Why not? I would be confused by the incidentals and the settle up email if this was supposed to be a joint trip and no one asked me for a check to be sent to the realtor nor put me on the lease.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the email was clear. I have been involved in a ton of multiple-family trips and never have the communications been this unclear. When dealing with friends and money, everything should be spelled out in detail, including exact amounts. On the other hand, unless OP has previously treated the friends to such trips or there were other communications in which that was discussed, I think they were quite presumptuous.

but come on, you're telling me that if you got that email from a friend your DEFAULT interpretation would be "well, how lovely of them to pay 100% of our beach vacation?"

[Anonymous]

I think OP was clear. Clear enough that I would have followed up with "...and just to be clear, our share is $1500?" If we decided we couldn't swing it, we would say exactly that. "Looks amazing, but I'm afraid we just can't swing it this year. Please think of us next summer, as we would love a trip with you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again.

At the end of the email, I wrote this. . .

"Please review the attached lease. It includes the fees and phone number if you want to rent sheets or a highchair. I will go ahead and pay the balance just to ensure we reserve it. We are going to pay for insurance in case of bad weather, and we will cover that. We can settle up later. Really looking forward to having our families spend time together! It has been way too long since we had a proper visit together."

I can't imagine what wasn't clear about that.

Wow, yeah, that is pretty crystal clear. I'm sorry, OP. Your friends are hosing you, and that totally sucks. Can you resend them the email that you quoted from above and then call (it's always better to talk rather than email in situations like this, IMHO, so there's no reading things the wrong way) and ask straight up how on earth they could've misinterpreted the situation given the email you sent?