Friends don't want to pay for beach house, and think it was my fault?

[Anonymous]

People, even if OP has more money than the friend, that doesn't mean she's rolling in the green and would have no problem covering the entire outlay. See OP's statement:
"We have the money, as we paid for it. But we anticipated being reimbursed, and frankly, we are going to have to re-adjust our family fall budget without the 3K." So basically her family would have to do without something else in order to pay for the friend's vacation.

[Anonymous]

The OP posted the outcome of this situation a couple of pages ago...how about everyone move on now to another juicy thread now where you can pick sides.

[Anonymous]

No she must pay!

[Anonymous]

OP you learned an important lesson: invite and/or vacation with the drama free people ONLY!! You are a better person than I.

Anyone who makes assumptions about my wealth and their alleged rights to it have written themselves off, without any doing from me.

[Anonymous]

This is a lesson in email versus phone. It is risky to make BIG plans involving hundreds or thousands of dollars via email. This misunderstanding never would have happened if the two had spoken. I understand why OP's friend thought it was an invitation and am sorry OP doesn't. She was offering to cover some things and sharing other expenses.

Next time, speak by phone, confirm by email!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a lesson in email versus phone. It is risky to make BIG plans involving hundreds or thousands of dollars via email. This misunderstanding never would have happened if the two had spoken. I understand why OP's friend thought it was an invitation and am sorry OP doesn't. She was offering to cover some things and sharing other expenses.

Next time, speak by phone, confirm by email!

See, I think email is better for things like this because you have a record in writing! By phone, people can easily say 'I never said that'. With email, you just forward the correct email, and say 'Yes you did!'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: Your husband is right about hers. Regardless of how it came about, my DH would sooner take his own spleen out with a spork than take advantage of someone in this manner.You're a nice person to just try to make it right, but I'm afraid it may ruin your vacation--although I hope it doesn't. May I recommend a case or two of good wine?

OP again. This made me laugh out loud, and pretty much captures my husband's approach to these things. He is trying to focus on a much needed vacation, and not get too caught up in the details, as shitty as they have become.

I have thought about suggesting the other family just bow out, allowing them to save face gracefully, and invite my parents and neighbors. My parents would chip in, and I would make if very clear to the neighbors that this was our treat.

And there will be wine involved, regardless.

OP, you sound like a really good egg. I hope that whatever the resolution, you have a relaxing vacation. Team OP!!! Let's get t-shirts made!!

Yeah, yer allright, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow OP. You are a better person than me, I can tell you that.

Agreed!

[Anonymous]

I get that this is over, but it would have been interesting to have an excerpt from the friend's emails back during the leasing/planning process. Did she just write "Move forward" or was that a paraphrase, and was there more? If I were committing to a house rental, I would be very specific, even if my friend hadn't been.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Five months ago, we asked friends who live in New Jersey if they wanted to rent a house with us in OBX next week. They were excited, said yes, so I sent them the link of a house we liked. Emailed, and asked them to see if it worked, in terms of accomodations, location, and cost. They wrote back, and said, "Yes! Move forward."

So we did. I paid the lease for the house, and sent them a note about their portion. Received nothing back.

We are all set to go, and my husband requested that I remind them once more about their portion. I gave my friend a call, and she was upset. Assumed we had invited them, not asking that they contribute. They don't plan on going if they have to pay.

I am VERY sure there could not have been confusion or miscommunication. But maybe? These are good friends.

It's a mess. An expensive mess for us.

1 - You had no business paying for somethin' you can't afford, even if people were going to pay you back. Collect $ upfront to avoid such issues.
2 - In the future, communicate more directly. Be sure people know your expectations.
3 - Those people are not your friends. They should have offered to pay you back, even if you did not ask for them to do it. They have no class.
4 - If you cannot get the money back or sublet to paying people, go on that trip with hubby and have a blast.
5 - Last and most, regarding your friends - FUG DEM BEE-ATCHEZ'!!!

[Anonymous]

especially #3. I would never ever let someone pay for me for free, who cares how much money they have. Even if they said "don't worry about it" I would INSIST they take money from me. That is how I was raised!! To do otherwise is rude!!

[Anonymous]

if there really was a misunderstaning about whether or not the invitee should pay their way, then you should cancel the booking

[Anonymous]

So how was the trip, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No I am 100% team OP . But being asked to participate in a wedding usually means you buy your attire.

Agree. I'm with OP on this one but with the violin teacher on PP's wedding/twins drama.

[Anonymous]

"Anyone who makes assumptions about my wealth and their alleged rights to it have written themselves off, without any doing from me."

Including and especially vacations!!!!!!!

How was it, OP? We are all wondering