Divorced Men - How is your love life today?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorced men, especially with younger kids, are such a huge red flag to me. It means that they couldn’t figure out what they needed to do to sustain adult partnership.

Women don’t divorce men unless they’ve really messed up.

Those men are gross.

The gray divorce men are the same. The wife just put up with him longer or feared the kids would take it on the chin with his dismal coparenting time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it feels really good. I don’t feel like I’m walking on eggshells trying to figure out the right thing to say to someone who hates the way I breathe. It feels good to tell a joke and have someone almost spit on themselves laughing rather than getting a lecture. I can drive places without constant directions on everything, how I’m driving, the parking spot I just missed, etc. I feel like a human.

My time with the kids has been amazing. We have 50/50 and on my weeks we can do all kinds of stuff. Whether its sitting down to study, playing a game together - there’s no yelling anymore - there’s mostly just calm.

Aside from that dating has been fun and I’ve met some great people. Sex has been amazing and I think I’d forgotten what it felt like to actually be wanted and to want someone else.

I viewed my divorce as a failure before and that really got to me but the farther I get away from her I realize there was no chance of success with her. What was inside her burned a scowl onto her face that nothing I could do would fix.

I feel like you could be my DH in a few years.

Have you unpacked your relationship yet? Why do you think she held such contempt for you? I hope you figure this out before you enter another relationship. “What was inside her” was years and years of neglect of your relationship and probably years ignoring her trying to communicate to you about it. Did you communicate to her what was wrong? Or you just thought her “bad attitude” was the entire problem in the marriage and you were happy as long as that changed?

He doesn’t care that he was an unreliable, opting out husband and father when married. He still is though, and he still cuts corners and avoids the heavy real stuff.

LOL it sounds like his ex-wife was the problem, pp. I'm not sure what you're projecting but it's pretty clear you lack basic reading comprehension skills.

DP. Very rarely is it one persons problem a relationship fails. Presumably she wasn’t like that that married and a normal person would want to know what changed. Doesn’t mean that she wasn’t wrong to take that approach but life is constantly presenting opportunities to grow if we take them.

Simple time and familiarity is enough for many spouses to develop a strong distaste for the other spouse. No need to automatically assume unreliability or other bad qualities.

[Anonymous]

Not hearing a lot about the love lives of divorced men here. By my count there is one who is doing pretty well; a second who is lonely; and a third who purports to be having loads of sex with hot young women.

I'm happy for the first, sad for the second, and assume the third is a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced men, especially with younger kids, are such a huge red flag to me. It means that they couldn’t figure out what they needed to do to sustain adult partnership.

Women don’t divorce men unless they’ve really messed up.

Those men are gross.

And men don’t divorce women unless they are really done. Whatever is your point.

Done leaching and ready for the new set up and woman host.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it feels really good. I don’t feel like I’m walking on eggshells trying to figure out the right thing to say to someone who hates the way I breathe. It feels good to tell a joke and have someone almost spit on themselves laughing rather than getting a lecture. I can drive places without constant directions on everything, how I’m driving, the parking spot I just missed, etc. I feel like a human.

My time with the kids has been amazing. We have 50/50 and on my weeks we can do all kinds of stuff. Whether its sitting down to study, playing a game together - there’s no yelling anymore - there’s mostly just calm.

Aside from that dating has been fun and I’ve met some great people. Sex has been amazing and I think I’d forgotten what it felt like to actually be wanted and to want someone else.

I viewed my divorce as a failure before and that really got to me but the farther I get away from her I realize there was no chance of success with her. What was inside her burned a scowl onto her face that nothing I could do would fix.

I feel like you could be my DH in a few years.

Have you unpacked your relationship yet? Why do you think she held such contempt for you? I hope you figure this out before you enter another relationship. “What was inside her” was years and years of neglect of your relationship and probably years ignoring her trying to communicate to you about it. Did you communicate to her what was wrong? Or you just thought her “bad attitude” was the entire problem in the marriage and you were happy as long as that changed?

Good question. I’ve actually been working with a psychiatrist/MD for the last year. I’ve learned a lot about myself and have talked through everything with him from my earliest memories through present day. I’d recommend it, and my therapist, to anyone who would like to grow. Not just relationship stuff, but things like anxiety that I’ve just white knuckled for years because there was never time for me.

As far as my past relationship goes, their will always be things I can do better and I’ll always be committed to growth. That said, how long is a person who is trying supposed to walk on eggshells and appease someone who just doesn’t like you and isn’t reciprocating - and even psychologically abusing you. I’m not ruling out being in a relationship, I just don’t ever want to be trapped and treated that way again.

[Anonymous]

Great! I married an Indonesian woman I met online. We're currently working through the visa process to move her here. Lovely family, kind, my kids love her.

[Anonymous]

^Follow up to say that we have a pre-nup and I've already set aside most of my assets in a trust for my children.

[Anonymous]

If it’s not irrevocable trust in a specific child’s name, your attempt at a point is moot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it’s not irrevocable trust in a specific child’s name, your attempt at a point is moot.

It is (there are several). And I paid a good law firm a substantial amount of money to set them up. Thanks for chiming in. I'm sure that would have been helpful in the case of an absolute moron trying to set up trusts for his children using legalzoom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it’s not irrevocable trust in a specific child’s name, your attempt at a point is moot.

It is (there are several). And I paid a good law firm a substantial amount of money to set them up. Thanks for chiming in. I'm sure that would have been helpful in the case of an absolute moron trying to set up trusts for his children using legalzoom.

Or changeable revocable ones.

Or irrevocable ones that include your future children or step children.

Setting up wills & trusts is $3-5k initially and the. Then $1k a pop each add’l. Nothing most people can’t afford to avoid probate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having sex with dozens of women college age up to my age has been the only good part of my divorce.

Everything else (half the time with kids, moving from a house to a condo, navigating schedules) hasn’t been great.

You sound trashy.

You just don't like that he's dipping his wick inside 20 year-olds. That threatens you.

It threatens our daughters/nieces and every woman we love.

Yuck! Wrinkled balls and not full formed young women. Double yuck. This is how we get Epstein. Girls your daughters age

There are things you can do to protect your daughter from predators, like put her in empowering team sports (soccer, volleyball, hockey, basketball, lacrosse), give her an allowance so she doesn't resort to selling her body, and generally care about her. I cannot see our daughter debasing herself and going for an old, predatory men, but I'm not going to take anything for granted either. We are involved and pay attention to her friends, hobbies, and emotional health. She knows she can talk to us, too.

[Anonymous]

The mental disorder women go for this.

[Anonymous]

"Divorced men, especially with younger kids, are such a huge red flag to me. It means that they couldn’t figure out what they needed to do to sustain adult partnership.
Women don’t divorce men unless they’ve really messed up.
Those men are gross."

The world doesn't work like that. There aren't hard and fast rules for how people behave by gender, age, race, etc...

There are women who are mentally and emotionally damaged and incapable of being healthy partners or parents, just like there are men who suck at adulting and parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it’s not irrevocable trust in a specific child’s name, your attempt at a point is moot.

It is (there are several). And I paid a good law firm a substantial amount of money to set them up. Thanks for chiming in. I'm sure that would have been helpful in the case of an absolute moron trying to set up trusts for his children using legalzoom.

Or changeable revocable ones.

Or irrevocable ones that include your future children or step children.

Setting up wills & trusts is $3-5k initially and the. Then $1k a pop each add’l. Nothing most people can’t afford to avoid probate.

What’s in it for Indonesian woman? She’s basically an imports sex worker for green card food and shelter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it feels really good. I don’t feel like I’m walking on eggshells trying to figure out the right thing to say to someone who hates the way I breathe. It feels good to tell a joke and have someone almost spit on themselves laughing rather than getting a lecture. I can drive places without constant directions on everything, how I’m driving, the parking spot I just missed, etc. I feel like a human.

My time with the kids has been amazing. We have 50/50 and on my weeks we can do all kinds of stuff. Whether its sitting down to study, playing a game together - there’s no yelling anymore - there’s mostly just calm.

Aside from that dating has been fun and I’ve met some great people. Sex has been amazing and I think I’d forgotten what it felt like to actually be wanted and to want someone else.

I viewed my divorce as a failure before and that really got to me but the farther I get away from her I realize there was no chance of success with her. What was inside her burned a scowl onto her face that nothing I could do would fix.

I feel like you could be my DH in a few years.

Have you unpacked your relationship yet? Why do you think she held such contempt for you? I hope you figure this out before you enter another relationship. “What was inside her” was years and years of neglect of your relationship and probably years ignoring her trying to communicate to you about it. Did you communicate to her what was wrong? Or you just thought her “bad attitude” was the entire problem in the marriage and you were happy as long as that changed?

He doesn’t care that he was an unreliable, opting out husband and father when married. He still is though, and he still cuts corners and avoids the heavy real stuff.

LOL it sounds like his ex-wife was the problem, pp. I'm not sure what you're projecting but it's pretty clear you lack basic reading comprehension skills.

Calling out bad behavior is indeed such a problem. Make it go away!

What a chicken $hit. Doesnt want to be told about his chronically bad decisions and behaviors .