Divorced Men - How is your love life today?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it feels really good. I don’t feel like I’m walking on eggshells trying to figure out the right thing to say to someone who hates the way I breathe. It feels good to tell a joke and have someone almost spit on themselves laughing rather than getting a lecture. I can drive places without constant directions on everything, how I’m driving, the parking spot I just missed, etc. I feel like a human.

My time with the kids has been amazing. We have 50/50 and on my weeks we can do all kinds of stuff. Whether its sitting down to study, playing a game together - there’s no yelling anymore - there’s mostly just calm.

Aside from that dating has been fun and I’ve met some great people. Sex has been amazing and I think I’d forgotten what it felt like to actually be wanted and to want someone else.

I viewed my divorce as a failure before and that really got to me but the farther I get away from her I realize there was no chance of success with her. What was inside her burned a scowl onto her face that nothing I could do would fix.

I feel like you could be my DH in a few years.

Have you unpacked your relationship yet? Why do you think she held such contempt for you? I hope you figure this out before you enter another relationship. “What was inside her” was years and years of neglect of your relationship and probably years ignoring her trying to communicate to you about it. Did you communicate to her what was wrong? Or you just thought her “bad attitude” was the entire problem in the marriage and you were happy as long as that changed?

I could have written what that guy wrote, but I don't think my ex wife could have written what PP wrote, My ex wife caused most of the problems in our marriage. By the end of our time together, she knew it too. Two marriage counselors said so, but she just couldn't or wouldn't change.

Plenty of women on DCUM love to talk about their uncommunicative or narcissist ex husbands. Yes, I believe most of those women. Insensitive and narcissist husbands definitely exist. But narcissism manifests differently in women sometimes. Narcissist women can complain a lot. I mean A LOT. They constantly claim they are victims and they're almost impossible to please. The guy who wrote above may be an insensitive jerk but it's very possible that his wife really was impossible to please. My ex wife may not have been a narcissist or had borderline personality disorder or something like that, but she had a lot of tendencies in those directions. Dealing with that stuff is incredibly draining for a husband.

So I totally get it when the guy posted about how nice it is to meet women who thinks his jokes are funny and wants to have sex with him. I'm much happier now too. Some women think i'm really fun and attractive now. It's great!

As far as younger women go, I will be the first to admit that most of my relationships with women more than twenty years younger haven't been very deep. Not only that, but the sex with those younger women has not actually been better than the sex with older women, even though young bodies look and feel better. But there was one exception. One younger woman and I had a very intense relationship. It was amazing in every way, except that people our own ages thought we were crazy. She was NOT a sugar baby. I've learned from experience that some younger women just like older men.

Now I'm trying to date women closer to my own age. I'm even meeting women who are five or ten years older. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll find a woman in her fifties or sixties who's still fun and attractive and horny. If I can't, I'll probably go back to younger women. One thing I won't ever do again is go back to a constant complainer who doesn't want to have sex with me. I'm not going to have more kids so there is absolutely no reason to put up with that again.

[Anonymous]

Is it "easy" to get women? No. Is it difficult? Not really. I'm no George Clooney, but I can get women my own age, younger, or older, especially if I'm willing to commit to an exclusive relationship, and some women don't even want exclusive relationships. If you are a divorced middle aged guy, have a job, look ok, and can carry a conversation, you can get some nice, attractive, smart women. You have to be resilient though. For men and women, rejection happens a lot.