Has your college freshman dated at all this year?

[Anonymous]

I didn’t date until junior year of college and I met my husband, we have a great marriage. Imo there’s no “right” timeline for this.

If your dd is happy with her friends, who cares if she’s not hooking up?

[Anonymous]

It seemed from my kid’s experience that girls are scared of guys and keep their distance, especially at the beginning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t date until junior year of college and I met my husband, we have a great marriage. Imo there’s no “right” timeline for this.

If your dd is happy with her friends, who cares if she’s not hooking up?

Did you read op which said she’s sad about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is hooking up and dating. Big college in the south.

Your kid tells you about their hookups?

DP:

Life 360 lets you know when your kid spends the night elsewhere.

Who the hell monitors their adult children on Life 360?!?! That is seriously dysfunctional.

[Anonymous]

another reason to send your kids to public high school vs. private.

[Anonymous]

Your totally correct. My DD, a sophomore, hasn’t dated as far as I know. All I see on Insta is hordes of girls going out together. Same for her high school friends. I was a great student, but having a boyfriend was front snd center formt college years. It’s weird. I think the girls have their act together, and it’s intimidating. Or romantic is dead in this AI, phone centric world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your totally correct. My DD, a sophomore, hasn’t dated as far as I know. All I see on Insta is hordes of girls going out together. Same for her high school friends. I was a great student, but having a boyfriend was front snd center formt college years. It’s weird. I think the girls have their act together, and it’s intimidating. Or romantic is dead in this AI, phone centric world.

You are not your. Sorry! I hate when others do this.

[Anonymous]

My college freshman has tons of friends (girls and boys), is in a sorority, goes to parties and mixers. She loves her school and her friends but hasn’t dated at all. She has several friends who are still with their high school boyfriends and girlfriends. A few who have been asked out. But mostly they just hang out in groups. Times have changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For my DD, who is at one of the gender unbalanced schools, has hooks up and dates through her sorority date parties. She does occasionally get asked out for drinks or coffee too by random guys she meets at parties, class, or mutual friends. She is really friendly and pretty.

OIP and this sounds ideal. My daughter would love this as she's not looking for a boyfriend as much as some male attention but hasn't been asked out. She's pretty, thin, well dressed etc. But invisible.

[Anonymous]

DS met a girl on his hall early on. It’s an LLC so they also have a class together. They have now been together 4 years and he is “in love.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS met a girl on his hall early on. It’s an LLC so they also have a class together. They have now been together 4 years and he is “in love.”

Why the quotes? Seems like a reasonable amount of time to know it’s for real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is hooking up and dating. Big college in the south.

Your kid tells you about their hookups?

DP:

Life 360 lets you know when your kid spends the night elsewhere.

Who the hell monitors their adult children on Life 360?!?! That is seriously dysfunctional.

I’m not monitoring it obsessively.

We have a family circle on Life360 that we’ve had for years. We still have younger kids at home (just the oldest is away at college).

I told them they could turn off Life360 and that I certainly didn’t plan to track them.

They opted to keep it on.

Personally, I like being able to see if they are driving before I text or call (I won’t call or text if they are driving). Similarly, I’ll check to make sure they aren’t in class or at a bar/restaurant before I call/text.

They also do the same: check to see if I’m at the office or working from home, see if I’m driving, etc.

Anyway, I know my kid is having fun because I’ve noticed they slept at a girls-only dorm or somewhere that isn’t their own dorm. I never ask about it, but he’s commented that he’s “hanging out” with a girl from X state. Usually he’s sharing things like he’s met someone with a beach house or vacation home someplace cool or a bunch of kids are heading to the lake or someplace over the weekend.

Feel free to make fun of me for having Life360. I don’t mind. If you knew me, you’d know I’m the furthest thing from a helicopter parent. Anyway, my kid’s social life is fine. Ditto for academic life. Very well-rounded experience as far as I can tell.

If your kid is struggling to make connections at college where it’s far easier than in the adult world/workplace, then perhaps encourage them to put themselves out there a bit. With social media and covid coupled with the helicoptering some kids experienced, plenty of college students simply aren’t equipped to navigate the social stuff—and it is important.

[Anonymous]

My Freshman son has a girlfriend he met using an app. I’ve heard the same from friends with kids at other schools, too.

[Anonymous]

Why would you, as her mother, be encouraging hook ups? Do you want her to get a STD, or something? Why would encourage this, push this, lifestyle on your own daughter? Make her think this is what she should be doing. I'm creeped out. By you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:According to the population surveys from last year - 61% of undergraduate male students and 56% of undergraduate female students had not had PIV sex in the last 12 months.

And 56% of male undergrads and 53% of female undergrads had not had oral sex in the last 12 months.

The majority of those are virgins and have never had sex.

Of students who had had sex in the last 12 months, 69% of male undergrads and 71% of female undergrads had only had 1 partner during that time frame. 20% of male undergrads and 19% of female undergrads had 2-3 partners, 5% of male students had 4-6 partners and 4% of female students had 4-6 partners, 4% of male students had 7 or more partners and 3% of female students had 7 or more partners.

Accurate. They do not date around as much as college kids in the 90s, who had fewer sexual partners than the college students of the early 80s. Times change. Less casual sex is a good thing, for the most part.