Has your college freshman dated at all this year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My freshman recently came home for spring break. She told me she hasn’t dated anyone at all. No one has asked her out, no hookups, not even really guys chatting with her. As far as I know she also hasn’t asked any guys out herself. She feels kind of sad about all of it. Is it normal now for college students to basically live like they are in a convent? She studies a lot and spends most of her time with her female friends. They go out together to dinner, concerts, and games, and seem to have a nice time. But from what she says, her friends are having the same experience — not much or anything happening with guys. This feels very different from when I was in college. I’m curious what your freshman’s experience has been like.

This was the case for DD who is now a junior. Fortunately she just started dating someone she met online who goes to her same college. Most of her friends haven’t been on dates either sadly. Very different from when I was in college….

[Anonymous]

20% of the men in college do 80% of the smashing. It isn't a coincidence that this number aligns with the 20% Greek life participation rate at a typical flagship state school. If you don't want to be celibate throughout college, you need to rush, especially if you're a guy.

[Anonymous]

My kid is now a Sophomore at VT. In a sorority. Same experience. No dating at all. Definitely way different than my college experience

[Anonymous]

Transfer to ND? I heard they still date there.

[Anonymous]

Yes, unfortunately so many college students aren’t dating. It seems to be another casualty of iPhones. Both more, and less, connected than ever. My DC is in school in Boston and some of the students use Hinge to find dates.

[Anonymous]

DD dating a guy she met at party/through friends. Some friends came to college with serious boyfriend. Others are just casually hooking up at parties. Has a core group of girlfriends she hangs out with. Going on spring break trip with mixed guy/girl group.

[Anonymous]

Teen has been asked out many times but declines, she hasn’t met anyone that interesting. She’s there to get an education and make connections. She values friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This generation is just as wild, if not more, than ours was. Even the high schoolers are wild. I don’t think your child’s experience is the norm. But it could depend on the school, where is she at?

Eh, I’m not so sure.

I know tons of single young people who don’t seem to date.

+1 This generation is very different. It seems sad and lonely, in my opinion, but maybe it will all work out for them.

[Anonymous]

For my DD, who is at one of the gender unbalanced schools, has hooks up and dates through her sorority date parties. She does occasionally get asked out for drinks or coffee too by random guys she meets at parties, class, or mutual friends. She is really friendly and pretty.

[Anonymous]

Freshman year is still early. Things get livelier in the spring.

[Anonymous]

My DD is at a big flagship with a huge gender imbalance. She’s had the same experience as the OP. She’s a very pretty girl, in a sorority and all that.
I don’t know if she’s hooked up but she’s very frustrated by the dating scene. She says the boys are either nerds, have girlfriends or are total sluts.

[Anonymous]

My kid came out during spring break a couple of years ago. One serious partner.

[Anonymous]

DS keeps asking girls out, and they say no. He's tall and good looking but not very charismatic. He's getting discouraged.

[Anonymous]

Daughter graduated May 2025- no dating in college.

Daughter current Junior- no dating.

Son graduated 2023- had a girlfriend Senior year.

For my kids and their friends- pretty common to not date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:According to the population surveys from last year - 61% of undergraduate male students and 56% of undergraduate female students had not had PIV sex in the last 12 months.

And 56% of male undergrads and 53% of female undergrads had not had oral sex in the last 12 months.

The majority of those are virgins and have never had sex.

Of students who had had sex in the last 12 months, 69% of male undergrads and 71% of female undergrads had only had 1 partner during that time frame. 20% of male undergrads and 19% of female undergrads had 2-3 partners, 5% of male students had 4-6 partners and 4% of female students had 4-6 partners, 4% of male students had 7 or more partners and 3% of female students had 7 or more partners.

Fear of Title ix complaints have made it sterile