SAHM with a second on the way. Need more help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most SAHM don’t have any help…I had 2 little boys, 18 months apart, and stayed home with them for 6 years and then I went back to work.
No help, and we don’t have involved family. It was the sweetest years.

I'm a working mom but my mom was a SAHM and Dad took time off when my younger siblings were born. When I was born he was mid residency and couldn’t.

My friends/coworkers are all working parents and it was pretty standard for the parents to alternate leave and for Dad to be home at least the first two weeks, usually the first month, then alternate leave later to extend time before daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol...or you could get a job if you are hiring that much help...

Why? I do love being with my toddler. Getting some morning help with him so I can run errands, have some time to myself and do some housework uninterrupted is a great thing.

I stay home and at that age - I had a nanny for the am and cleaners who changed sheets & vacuumed, dusted, cleaned the kitchen and I had hired a woman to make meals so I didn't have to cook as much- she batch cooked and we froze the meals. both on a bi-weekly basis. obviously this is extreme privilege and most moms do everything with no help. But if you can have help- outsource the non child care stuff so that you can spend time with your kids going to the park, library etc. have the nanny actually take the newborn when you can so can continue to enjoy time with your toddler, they'll likely behave better, or have the nanny come with you part of the time so you have 2 sets of hands and schedule workouts/therapist/coffee with friends on a weekly basis but for the first 3 months- schedule shower time and naps for yourself!

[Anonymous]

Do you have a husband?

[Anonymous]

I would definitely get cleaners once a week if you aren’t already doing that. If your husband is traveling, I wouldn’t be cooking. Order factor and heat those up. I was a SAHM and bedtime can be a nightmare by yourself. Don’t hire more help for your toddler, he will likely already be very jealous of the baby. See if your nanny knows anyone who could help for a few hours in the evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another SAHM with zero help also thinks it odd that you already have help with one (most SAHMs don't have amy), and need more help for a second. You can nurse the baby while reading bedtime stories to the toddler, but the baby in a bouncy seat on the floor of the bathroom while giving toddler a bath, in the bouncy seat or napping while making dinner, etc

What do you think you will actually need help with when the baby comes?

The extra help would be during the postpartum (about 6-8 weeks). I’m thinking I would need help with food prep, laundry, and cleaning. [/quote

thats right- those are the main things. I always farm out my laundry during stressful times and why would you spend your energy doing laundry post partum if you can afford not to?? my partner worked grueling hours and I'd rather spend time as a family. I felt so bad when I had no help b/c id end up taking a nap and he'd take the kids to do fun stuff on his Saturdays off, we got no time together so I felt no guilt hiring help.

[Anonymous]

Ignore the mean ones OP.

If you get some help for afternoons or evenings, you could have them hold the baby so you can do bedtime with the toddler (depending on what time bedtime is of course). You don’t want him to feel replaced by the baby.

Or you could have them help more with household chores so that you have some time to get used to having 2 underfoot.

You’ll do fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn’t be a SAHM if you need that much hired help. Just work. I stayed at home for 10 years with 3 kids and a spouse who traveled weekly. No hired help. I just can’t believe you think you need that much help with two kids when you don’t work.

+1.

“I love spending time with my
Toddler.” - no you don’t. 😂

[Anonymous]

People here are absolutely awful.

OP, hire as much help as you want. My one advice is to make sure you’re mostly getting help with non-kid tasks so you get the fun stuff. I had a part-time nanny as a sahm and once realized she was playing with my kids while I did the dishes, and it sucked. So we hired a housekeeper, and I will never hire anyone for childcare who isn’t happy to do dishes instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol...or you could get a job if you are hiring that much help...

Why? I do love being with my toddler. Getting some morning help with him so I can run errands, have some time to myself and do some housework uninterrupted is a great thing.

I stay home and at that age - I had a nanny for the am and cleaners who changed sheets & vacuumed, dusted, cleaned the kitchen and I had hired a woman to make meals so I didn't have to cook as much- she batch cooked and we froze the meals. both on a bi-weekly basis. obviously this is extreme privilege and most moms do everything with no help. But if you can have help- outsource the non child care stuff so that you can spend time with your kids going to the park, library etc. have the nanny actually take the newborn when you can so can continue to enjoy time with your toddler, they'll likely behave better, or have the nanny come with you part of the time so you have 2 sets of hands and schedule workouts/therapist/coffee with friends on a weekly basis but for the first 3 months- schedule shower time and naps for yourself!

Wow….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol...or you could get a job if you are hiring that much help...

Why? I do love being with my toddler. Getting some morning help with him so I can run errands, have some time to myself and do some housework uninterrupted is a great thing.

I stay home and at that age - I had a nanny for the am and cleaners who changed sheets & vacuumed, dusted, cleaned the kitchen and I had hired a woman to make meals so I didn't have to cook as much- she batch cooked and we froze the meals. both on a bi-weekly basis. obviously this is extreme privilege and most moms do everything with no help. But if you can have help- outsource the non child care stuff so that you can spend time with your kids going to the park, library etc. have the nanny actually take the newborn when you can so can continue to enjoy time with your toddler, they'll likely behave better, or have the nanny come with you part of the time so you have 2 sets of hands and schedule workouts/therapist/coffee with friends on a weekly basis but for the first 3 months- schedule shower time and naps for yourself!

Thank you for your advice! This would be a great option when our newborn is a little older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a husband?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

When I was one, we still had our cleaners come weekly...then when I found a part time job, I hired a sitter when I needed to work...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the mean ones OP.

If you get some help for afternoons or evenings, you could have them hold the baby so you can do bedtime with the toddler (depending on what time bedtime is of course). You don’t want him to feel replaced by the baby.

Or you could have them help more with household chores so that you have some time to get used to having 2 underfoot.

You’ll do fine.

Thank you! Yes I’m thinking for the evenings, additional help would be doing house help and holding my newborn if need be when I’m getting my toddler to bed. Additional help would only be for house help mostly. My husband works long hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People here are absolutely awful.

OP, hire as much help as you want. My one advice is to make sure you’re mostly getting help with non-kid tasks so you get the fun stuff. I had a part-time nanny as a sahm and once realized she was playing with my kids while I did the dishes, and it sucked. So we hired a housekeeper, and I will never hire anyone for childcare who isn’t happy to do dishes instead.

Thank you!

Yes exactly. I want my toddler and I to have more time together in the evenings without much in the way.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think people are intentionally being mean. But OP comes off as wealthy and a bit spoiled and most traditional SAHMs cannot relate. Many of us stayed home and had zero help on a regular basis so cannot relate to someone who already has a nanny for one child and is looking for more outsourcing as she adds a second.

Other than having someone occasionally help with the house work and covering for a medical appt, I don’t know why as a SAHM I would need so much assistance with my kids. But like the PPs, when I SAH when our kids were little they were my full time job and I was ok with that.