SAHM with a second on the way. Need more help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another SAHM with zero help also thinks it odd that you already have help with one (most SAHMs don't have amy), and need more help for a second. You can nurse the baby while reading bedtime stories to the toddler, but the baby in a bouncy seat on the floor of the bathroom while giving toddler a bath, in the bouncy seat or napping while making dinner, etc

What do you think you will actually need help with when the baby comes?

The extra help would be during the postpartum (about 6-8 weeks). I’m thinking I would need help with food prep, laundry, and cleaning.

Ok, Princess…or troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another SAHM with zero help also thinks it odd that you already have help with one (most SAHMs don't have amy), and need more help for a second. You can nurse the baby while reading bedtime stories to the toddler, but the baby in a bouncy seat on the floor of the bathroom while giving toddler a bath, in the bouncy seat or napping while making dinner, etc

What do you think you will actually need help with when the baby comes?

The extra help would be during the postpartum (about 6-8 weeks). I’m thinking I would need help with food prep, laundry, and cleaning.

Are you a single parent? Why can't your partner do food prep, laundry and cleaning?

Not a single parent but my husband travels a lot for work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had zero help with both of mine. It worked out fine. I don’t know why you want kids if you can’t handle them. Or get a job.

I’m sure you did 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had zero help with both of mine. It worked out fine. I don’t know why you want kids if you can’t handle them. Or get a job.

I’m sure you did 🙄

I had 0 help. I managed fine.

[Anonymous]

People are unkind. Your set-up sounds good and thinking ahead and planning on ways to help things go smoothly is useful.

Yes, if cost isn’t an issue, then I would absolutely organize some additional support in the first 3 months and then see how to go from there.

[Anonymous]

Why do you need more help? That is plenty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn’t be a SAHM if you need that much hired help. Just work. I stayed at home for 10 years with 3 kids and a spouse who traveled weekly. No hired help. I just can’t believe you think you need that much help with two kids when you don’t work.

So you’re saying you had zero help. Even no family help?

Zero paid or regular help with childcare. 1 x month cleaning lady. When family would visit they’d help but that wasn’t often. I relied on friends if I had a Dr appt and spouse was out of town. I did do part-time morning preschool around age 3 for each kid. I don’t think this is only the way to do it, but the amount of help OP is describing is nuts for a SAHM. Just seems pointless to stay at home if you want to farm that many hours a week of childcare.

I had zero help. I took mine to appointments. Rare occasion dad would take off. Never used a babysitter. No family. No housekeeper

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn’t be a SAHM if you need that much hired help. Just work. I stayed at home for 10 years with 3 kids and a spouse who traveled weekly. No hired help. I just can’t believe you think you need that much help with two kids when you don’t work.

I would love help and no Shame at this lady for recognizing her needs. I have 5, ages 3-13.5. My husband is out of town. Yesterday, I had to drag my 3 year old out in the 2 degree Midwest weather for:
7 AM drop off at school 1 for 4th and 8th grader
Then home (I left my 6th grader home with my 5 year old)
Pick up aforementioned kids and leave at 840 for 2 hour delayed drop off at school 2
Then home.
Then back out again to get 5 yo at 1130 pickup for half day preschool at school 2
Then home
Then out at 1:15 for pickup at school 1
Then the 4 kids and I drive to school 2 to get 6th grader
Then home

I would’ve loved help.
I will say that when you have the crazy toddler and newborn moments, it does strengthen you much like Marines vs Reserves BUT it still really sucks sometimes ;(

[Anonymous]

I'm a working mom but I think people are being way too harsh here. If her spouse is traveling for work and is taking no leave, realistically she's going to need help. She's not going to be able to pick up the 2 year old for a bit.

The problem is if he's really taking no time off, you need help off hours. Bedtime and evenings are going to be the worst as that's when babies are fussiest and you'll have bedtime with the older kid.

As a starting point, for the first couple weeks spouse really really shouldn't be traveling. If he really cannot take leave at all (though he should at a minimum have FMLA) a family member or night nurse maybe.

But really spouse needs to take some paternity leave. It's not 1960s anymore.

[Anonymous]

Most SAHM don’t have any help…I had 2 little boys, 18 months apart, and stayed home with them for 6 years and then I went back to work.
No help, and we don’t have involved family. It was the sweetest years.

[Anonymous]

Definitely hire more help. Maybe someone live in.

Why should your kids get in the way of your me time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are unkind. Your set-up sounds good and thinking ahead and planning on ways to help things go smoothly is useful.

Yes, if cost isn’t an issue, then I would absolutely organize some additional support in the first 3 months and then see how to go from there.

+1
People on here are being mean. We didn’t have paid help because we couldn’t afford it, but if OP can, then why not? Wanting breaks doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her kids. Particularly if breaks allow her to be a calmer, more present parent when she is with them.

[Anonymous]

Hopefully the army of nannies can make up for you being a lazy parent.

The kids will probably thrive with nannies.

[Anonymous]

I feel like this is one troll who keeps posting. Okay trolls- you win. No help, you’re th best moms ever.

Now that’s out of the way, what’s your actual question? You can make any arrangement you want for as long as you want. Would be great to have help to give the older one 1/1 time with you at some point. And get some help so you can sleep more. Congratulations! And good luck. This is your life and you can craft it however you want.

[Anonymous]

I can certainly attest to needing help with a newborn, plus a toddler.
But you need one helper thats it no more than that even for post partym.

But here it doesnt seem like you enjoy being with kids very much… thus the multiple helpers.
Where is your hubby evenings?
.