Red Piller

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m realizing that the man I’ve been dating for the past 4 months is a red piller. He has crappy views about women. he frequently finds a way to say negative things about women compared to men. he feels oppressed by women. I’m over it. Normally I would have a talk with someone I’ve been seeing this long and explain why I’m no longer interested.

For the first time ever I’m so repulsed, I just want to block him. Is ghosting wrong in this situation?

You obviously don't know what "red pill" means. Noticed that often on this board alone, while the rest of the internet doesn't get it confused, so obviously it's an echo chamber thing here.

Red pill is a reference from the movie "The Matrix" about waking up, realizing the system and the lies that have kept you a slave and prisoner, both physically and emotionally. The "blue pill" keeps you asleep and in ignorant bliss of the bubble. (both were metaphorical and symbolic in the movie, not real drugs.)

What you seem to be referring to is a mixture of other "pills" that have been made up since then in the more recent years.

Sounds like a black pill, perhaps striped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the harpies will hate this but you need to assess the nature of the red pill comments/beliefs. If it’s that women should stay home, be subservient to men and have babies, and that does not fit with your worldview, you have every right to bow out.

However, if his red pill beliefs are along the lines of being wary of women at the early stages so he is not used for free meals and entertainment, that’s entirely different. That’s virtually every man’s lived experience. Now, you can still bail if you want, but that might be premature where he’s only seeking to protect himself.

Ew no. If a boyfriend even tried to suggest his default was to view women as gold diggers, that is even worse than having some traditional beliefs about women and families. You can be a perfectly good person if your preference is to have a SAHM for your kids and you are seeking a woman who feels the same - not my thing but many couples agree on this. having a grudge against supposed “gold diggers” that you feel free to express to your new GF is totally different. and gross.

Golddigger has entered the chat.

ha you wish. In actual fact my xDH mooched off me for years paying zero joint expenses and now has not contributed a single cent to our kid’s expenses post divorce. Is that the kind of gold digger you are referring to?

Are you going on dates solely to get fed or entertained? Then yes.

What does "not this" look like? because the way you've framed it makes it look like "I put the dinner in, I'm owed a sex" and... yikes.

[Anonymous]

Just dump him. You don’t owe him an explanation other than “I don’t see this working out long term.”

If you try to make it about his beliefs, he will get extremely defensive and maybe even physically lash out. Guys like this don’t think “their woman” should disagree with him.

Hes a loser and you should cut your losses.

-Married man with kids

[Anonymous]

Nothing you said screams red piller, I’m not sure you know what that actually means.

[Anonymous]

I had to cut off a guy friend who was a doomsday prepper. Mre's, lots of guns, lots of conspiracies, radios, etc. Now looking back some of it wasn't so bad. I think that's a red piller....maybe? Sounds like you have a podcast bro.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's your duty to tell him why, because if he's in any way redeemable and really wants a relationship with a woman, he needs someone to tell him what he's doing wrong.

Absolutely not. You tell him some fake reason like work is too stressful for dating or your cockatoo needs round the clock care.

Honesty with this type of man is especially perilous.

You sound misogynistic and want other women to experience what she has, rather than helping him be different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the harpies will hate this but you need to assess the nature of the red pill comments/beliefs. If it’s that women should stay home, be subservient to men and have babies, and that does not fit with your worldview, you have every right to bow out.

However, if his red pill beliefs are along the lines of being wary of women at the early stages so he is not used for free meals and entertainment, that’s entirely different. That’s virtually every man’s lived experience. Now, you can still bail if you want, but that might be premature where he’s only seeking to protect himself.

Ew no. If a boyfriend even tried to suggest his default was to view women as gold diggers, that is even worse than having some traditional beliefs about women and families. You can be a perfectly good person if your preference is to have a SAHM for your kids and you are seeking a woman who feels the same - not my thing but many couples agree on this. having a grudge against supposed “gold diggers” that you feel free to express to your new GF is totally different. and gross.

Golddigger has entered the chat.

ha you wish. In actual fact my xDH mooched off me for years paying zero joint expenses and now has not contributed a single cent to our kid’s expenses post divorce. Is that the kind of gold digger you are referring to?

Are you going on dates solely to get fed or entertained? Then yes.

I always hear men complain about being used to get fed, but they all suggest dinner dates. There are dates beyond just going to dinner.

It’s just so weird to ask a woman to dinner, she decides you don’t click, then you complain about being used for food. You don’t have to provide food. I have a first date next weekend going to free music at a park. There are other options.

Hence the popularity in recent years of "Netflix and chill" kinda dates.

[Anonymous]

For anyone who needs educating on what red pill is: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/apr/14/the-red-pill-reddit-modern-misogyny-manosphere-men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the man I’ve been dating for the past 4 months is a red piller. ... feels oppressed by women. I’m over it.

Anonymous wrote:Red pill is a reference from the movie "The Matrix" about waking up, realizing the system and the lies that have kept you a slave and prisoner

Many men believe that the universe will provide a mate if you are kind and sincere. They schedule awkward, boring dinner dates with women who are not very interested. They just keep selflessly giving and getting exploited. They must learn that women are not vending machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.

A study from Swipestats found that women's average match rate on Tinder exceeds 30%, while men's average match rate is under 3%. Many men must go through hundreds or even thousands of profiles to get a date. Suppose a man is introverted or studious, advanced in school or young looking, taller than most women but shorter than most men. His school and job might be in male environments like the military or technology. He might be a minority or have nerdy male hobbies like Dungeons and Dragons or video games. He might be on the spectrum. Such a man can easily be in the 90th percentile of income and education but struggle to meet average single women. So the guy goes to bars or online and meets low-quality women. He pays for dates, gets flaked, and sometimes both. He gets routinely rejected by women with far less money and education. He understandably feels frustrated, angry, and depressed. That is the reality for some men.

[Anonymous]

PP that was a vivid depiction of I’m sure is reality for some men. But that doesn’t justify responding to that reality with hatred toward women. The reality is no one is entitled a partner. If one’s dating experience isn’t what they like it to be, the healthy response is to modify one’s expectations or appeal, not hate an entire gender.

[Anonymous]

No it isn’t - - the guy sounds like a common tool.

However it might be better to just let him know directly that you think he is a misogynist jerk just to avoid any confusion on his end.
It might make the whole break-up process smoother for you in the end.

Good luck OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For anyone who needs educating on what red pill is: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/apr/14/the-red-pill-reddit-modern-misogyny-manosphere-men

So is that where people are getting their misinformation from? LMAO!?

That's not even close to what red-pilled means.

They are clueless, or trying ta change the definition of it. Propaganda huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP that was a vivid depiction of I’m sure is reality for some men. But that doesn’t justify responding to that reality with hatred toward women.

Thanks, and I agree. Most of these men are just frustrated and angry at the injustice of the universe while they go through an awakening. For example, they learn that their dinner dates often texted other men for hookups afterwards. They are not misogynists. Most of incel Elliot Rodger's murder victims were men.

Red Pill men eventually learn that the women who invited them in for coffee don't actually want coffee. They also learn that the surest sign that a woman will sleep with them is when she says "I'm not going to sleep with you!"

Dating can be exhausting and demoralizing. Women run a small risk of a bad violent outcome. But men run a large risk of paying for flakes and dinner whores. It is like death by a thousand cuts. There is a lot to hate.

Of course, some men are just aggrieved and entitled butthurt losers. They are not just angry at women; they are angry at minorities, immigrants, gays, Jews, and the globalist conspiracy to deny their access to sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP that was a vivid depiction of I’m sure is reality for some men. But that doesn’t justify responding to that reality with hatred toward women.

Thanks, and I agree. Most of these men are just frustrated and angry at the injustice of the universe while they go through an awakening. For example, they learn that their dinner dates often texted other men for hookups afterwards. They are not misogynists. Most of incel Elliot Rodger's murder victims were men.

Red Pill men eventually learn that the women who invited them in for coffee don't actually want coffee. They also learn that the surest sign that a woman will sleep with them is when she says "I'm not going to sleep with you!"

Dating can be exhausting and demoralizing. Women run a small risk of a bad violent outcome. But men run a large risk of paying for flakes and dinner whores. It is like death by a thousand cuts. There is a lot to hate.

Of course, some men are just aggrieved and entitled butthurt losers. They are not just angry at women; they are angry at minorities, immigrants, gays, Jews, and the globalist conspiracy to deny their access to sex.

Once again someone gets confused.

That's "black pill".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m realizing that the man I’ve been dating for the past 4 months is a red piller. He has crappy views about women. he frequently finds a way to say negative things about women compared to men. he feels oppressed by women. I’m over it. Normally I would have a talk with someone I’ve been seeing this long and explain why I’m no longer interested.

For the first time ever I’m so repulsed, I just want to block him. Is ghosting wrong in this situation?

No, although you will only reinforce and fuel is misogyny if you do.