Red Piller

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, the harpies will hate this but you need to assess the nature of the red pill comments/beliefs. If it’s that women should stay home, be subservient to men and have babies, and that does not fit with your worldview, you have every right to bow out.

However, if his red pill beliefs are along the lines of being wary of women at the early stages so he is not used for free meals and entertainment, that’s entirely different. That’s virtually every man’s lived experience. Now, you can still bail if you want, but that might be premature where he’s only seeking to protect himself.

Ew no. If a boyfriend even tried to suggest his default was to view women as gold diggers, that is even worse than having some traditional beliefs about women and families. You can be a perfectly good person if your preference is to have a SAHM for your kids and you are seeking a woman who feels the same - not my thing but many couples agree on this. having a grudge against supposed “gold diggers” that you feel free to express to your new GF is totally different. and gross.

[Anonymous]

4 months is a long time not to have seen this. Did you ignore the red flags or was he good at pretending? If the red flags were there tell him politely this isn't working for you and move on. If he was misleading you, ghosting is absolutely acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the harpies will hate this but you need to assess the nature of the red pill comments/beliefs. If it’s that women should stay home, be subservient to men and have babies, and that does not fit with your worldview, you have every right to bow out.

However, if his red pill beliefs are along the lines of being wary of women at the early stages so he is not used for free meals and entertainment, that’s entirely different. That’s virtually every man’s lived experience. Now, you can still bail if you want, but that might be premature where he’s only seeking to protect himself.

Ew no. If a boyfriend even tried to suggest his default was to view women as gold diggers, that is even worse than having some traditional beliefs about women and families. You can be a perfectly good person if your preference is to have a SAHM for your kids and you are seeking a woman who feels the same - not my thing but many couples agree on this. having a grudge against supposed “gold diggers” that you feel free to express to your new GF is totally different. and gross.

Golddigger has entered the chat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the harpies will hate this but you need to assess the nature of the red pill comments/beliefs. If it’s that women should stay home, be subservient to men and have babies, and that does not fit with your worldview, you have every right to bow out.

However, if his red pill beliefs are along the lines of being wary of women at the early stages so he is not used for free meals and entertainment, that’s entirely different. That’s virtually every man’s lived experience. Now, you can still bail if you want, but that might be premature where he’s only seeking to protect himself.

Ew no. If a boyfriend even tried to suggest his default was to view women as gold diggers, that is even worse than having some traditional beliefs about women and families. You can be a perfectly good person if your preference is to have a SAHM for your kids and you are seeking a woman who feels the same - not my thing but many couples agree on this. having a grudge against supposed “gold diggers” that you feel free to express to your new GF is totally different. and gross.

Golddigger has entered the chat.

ha you wish. In actual fact my xDH mooched off me for years paying zero joint expenses and now has not contributed a single cent to our kid’s expenses post divorce. Is that the kind of gold digger you are referring to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the harpies will hate this but you need to assess the nature of the red pill comments/beliefs. If it’s that women should stay home, be subservient to men and have babies, and that does not fit with your worldview, you have every right to bow out.

However, if his red pill beliefs are along the lines of being wary of women at the early stages so he is not used for free meals and entertainment, that’s entirely different. That’s virtually every man’s lived experience. Now, you can still bail if you want, but that might be premature where he’s only seeking to protect himself.

Ew no. If a boyfriend even tried to suggest his default was to view women as gold diggers, that is even worse than having some traditional beliefs about women and families. You can be a perfectly good person if your preference is to have a SAHM for your kids and you are seeking a woman who feels the same - not my thing but many couples agree on this. having a grudge against supposed “gold diggers” that you feel free to express to your new GF is totally different. and gross.

Golddigger has entered the chat.

ha you wish. In actual fact my xDH mooched off me for years paying zero joint expenses and now has not contributed a single cent to our kid’s expenses post divorce. Is that the kind of gold digger you are referring to?

Are you going on dates solely to get fed or entertained? Then yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the harpies will hate this but you need to assess the nature of the red pill comments/beliefs. If it’s that women should stay home, be subservient to men and have babies, and that does not fit with your worldview, you have every right to bow out.

However, if his red pill beliefs are along the lines of being wary of women at the early stages so he is not used for free meals and entertainment, that’s entirely different. That’s virtually every man’s lived experience. Now, you can still bail if you want, but that might be premature where he’s only seeking to protect himself.

Ew no. If a boyfriend even tried to suggest his default was to view women as gold diggers, that is even worse than having some traditional beliefs about women and families. You can be a perfectly good person if your preference is to have a SAHM for your kids and you are seeking a woman who feels the same - not my thing but many couples agree on this. having a grudge against supposed “gold diggers” that you feel free to express to your new GF is totally different. and gross.

Golddigger has entered the chat.

ha you wish. In actual fact my xDH mooched off me for years paying zero joint expenses and now has not contributed a single cent to our kid’s expenses post divorce. Is that the kind of gold digger you are referring to?

Are you going on dates solely to get fed or entertained? Then yes.

This isn’t about me. It’s about a man who rants about women being gold diggers or expressing resentment about having paid for dates or some paranoid need to project himself from gold diggers. BIG red flag.

very different from a man saying something like “wow dating really got expensive for me - I always felt like I had to pay so I ended up cutting down on the number of dates or doing coffee.” then we could have an interesting discussion about gender roles we both feel pressured to conform to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the harpies will hate this but you need to assess the nature of the red pill comments/beliefs. If it’s that women should stay home, be subservient to men and have babies, and that does not fit with your worldview, you have every right to bow out.

However, if his red pill beliefs are along the lines of being wary of women at the early stages so he is not used for free meals and entertainment, that’s entirely different. That’s virtually every man’s lived experience. Now, you can still bail if you want, but that might be premature where he’s only seeking to protect himself.

Ew no. If a boyfriend even tried to suggest his default was to view women as gold diggers, that is even worse than having some traditional beliefs about women and families. You can be a perfectly good person if your preference is to have a SAHM for your kids and you are seeking a woman who feels the same - not my thing but many couples agree on this. having a grudge against supposed “gold diggers” that you feel free to express to your new GF is totally different. and gross.

Golddigger has entered the chat.

ha you wish. In actual fact my xDH mooched off me for years paying zero joint expenses and now has not contributed a single cent to our kid’s expenses post divorce. Is that the kind of gold digger you are referring to?

Are you going on dates solely to get fed or entertained? Then yes.

This isn’t about me. It’s about a man who rants about women being gold diggers or expressing resentment about having paid for dates or some paranoid need to project himself from gold diggers. BIG red flag.

very different from a man saying something like “wow dating really got expensive for me - I always felt like I had to pay so I ended up cutting down on the number of dates or doing coffee.” then we could have an interesting discussion about gender roles we both feel pressured to conform to.

Translation: I’m going to reframe this as “being expensive” versus “being taken advantage of.” My lived experience is more important than your lived experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's your duty to tell him why, because if he's in any way redeemable and really wants a relationship with a woman, he needs someone to tell him what he's doing wrong.

Absolutely not. You tell him some fake reason like work is too stressful for dating or your cockatoo needs round the clock care.

Honesty with this type of man is especially perilous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:4 months is a long time not to have seen this. Did you ignore the red flags or was he good at pretending? If the red flags were there tell him politely this isn't working for you and move on. If he was misleading you, ghosting is absolutely acceptable.

He makes good money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4 months is a long time not to have seen this. Did you ignore the red flags or was he good at pretending? If the red flags were there tell him politely this isn't working for you and move on. If he was misleading you, ghosting is absolutely acceptable.

He makes good money.

And there we have it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the harpies will hate this but you need to assess the nature of the red pill comments/beliefs. If it’s that women should stay home, be subservient to men and have babies, and that does not fit with your worldview, you have every right to bow out.

However, if his red pill beliefs are along the lines of being wary of women at the early stages so he is not used for free meals and entertainment, that’s entirely different. That’s virtually every man’s lived experience. Now, you can still bail if you want, but that might be premature where he’s only seeking to protect himself.

Ew no. If a boyfriend even tried to suggest his default was to view women as gold diggers, that is even worse than having some traditional beliefs about women and families. You can be a perfectly good person if your preference is to have a SAHM for your kids and you are seeking a woman who feels the same - not my thing but many couples agree on this. having a grudge against supposed “gold diggers” that you feel free to express to your new GF is totally different. and gross.

Golddigger has entered the chat.

ha you wish. In actual fact my xDH mooched off me for years paying zero joint expenses and now has not contributed a single cent to our kid’s expenses post divorce. Is that the kind of gold digger you are referring to?

Are you going on dates solely to get fed or entertained? Then yes.

I always hear men complain about being used to get fed, but they all suggest dinner dates. There are dates beyond just going to dinner.

It’s just so weird to ask a woman to dinner, she decides you don’t click, then you complain about being used for food. You don’t have to provide food. I have a first date next weekend going to free music at a park. There are other options.

[Anonymous]

I’d let him know your views don’t align.
Easy enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the harpies will hate this but you need to assess the nature of the red pill comments/beliefs. If it’s that women should stay home, be subservient to men and have babies, and that does not fit with your worldview, you have every right to bow out.

However, if his red pill beliefs are along the lines of being wary of women at the early stages so he is not used for free meals and entertainment, that’s entirely different. That’s virtually every man’s lived experience. Now, you can still bail if you want, but that might be premature where he’s only seeking to protect himself.

Ew no. If a boyfriend even tried to suggest his default was to view women as gold diggers, that is even worse than having some traditional beliefs about women and families. You can be a perfectly good person if your preference is to have a SAHM for your kids and you are seeking a woman who feels the same - not my thing but many couples agree on this. having a grudge against supposed “gold diggers” that you feel free to express to your new GF is totally different. and gross.

Golddigger has entered the chat.

ha you wish. In actual fact my xDH mooched off me for years paying zero joint expenses and now has not contributed a single cent to our kid’s expenses post divorce. Is that the kind of gold digger you are referring to?

Are you going on dates solely to get fed or entertained? Then yes.

This isn’t about me. It’s about a man who rants about women being gold diggers or expressing resentment about having paid for dates or some paranoid need to project himself from gold diggers. BIG red flag.

very different from a man saying something like “wow dating really got expensive for me - I always felt like I had to pay so I ended up cutting down on the number of dates or doing coffee.” then we could have an interesting discussion about gender roles we both feel pressured to conform to.

Translation: I’m going to reframe this as “being expensive” versus “being taken advantage of.” My lived experience is more important than your lived experience.

I mean, you are entitled to your lived experience. but if your lived experience is, per you, that you have to be constantly on the lookout for gold diggers, I’m gonna wonder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4 months is a long time not to have seen this. Did you ignore the red flags or was he good at pretending? If the red flags were there tell him politely this isn't working for you and move on. If he was misleading you, ghosting is absolutely acceptable.

He makes good money.

And there we have it.

That was not OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4 months is a long time not to have seen this. Did you ignore the red flags or was he good at pretending? If the red flags were there tell him politely this isn't working for you and move on. If he was misleading you, ghosting is absolutely acceptable.

He makes good money.

And there we have it.

That was not OP

How do you know? OP never came back. She ghosted us.