Brunch at friends house, do you take home what you brought?

[Anonymous]

As a host, I don’t care. Take it home, leave it, whatever.

Anything I don’t want to keep goes to my chickens, so they prefer you leave it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask the host what they prefer.
What I don't understand is when other people (the guests) descend upon leftover food and take it home without invitation from the host. To me, that's super rude!

It seems super rude to me, too. The host has dibs. Then the person who brought it gets to decide to offer it to other guests or take it home.

I don't know... if you are asking people to bring food to your party, you are hosting a potluck. The etiquette for a potluck is that everyone takes their items home. You can't have it both ways.

This. I don't "host" pot-lucks, but seems normal to me. If I am hosting, I provide all the food and beverages for my guest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask the host what they prefer.
What I don't understand is when other people (the guests) descend upon leftover food and take it home without invitation from the host. To me, that's super rude!

It seems super rude to me, too. The host has dibs. Then the person who brought it gets to decide to offer it to other guests or take it home.

I don't know... if you are asking people to bring food to your party, you are hosting a potluck. The etiquette for a potluck is that everyone takes their items home. You can't have it both ways.

This. I don't "host" pot-lucks, but seems normal to me. If I am hosting, I provide all the food and beverages for my guest.

Maybe this is a regional etiquette thing? I have never been to a 'potluck' where the expectation was taking it home. You go to someone's house, you don't take what you brought back, this is just super rude unless the host is offering/encouraging.

Agree with others I would in fact go out of my way to transfer whatever I brought to bring my dish home and that is IT.

New England culturally FWIW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask the host what they prefer.
What I don't understand is when other people (the guests) descend upon leftover food and take it home without invitation from the host. To me, that's super rude!

It seems super rude to me, too. The host has dibs. Then the person who brought it gets to decide to offer it to other guests or take it home.

I don't know... if you are asking people to bring food to your party, you are hosting a potluck. The etiquette for a potluck is that everyone takes their items home. You can't have it both ways.

OP did not ask them to bring food; they offered or asked what they could bring. She had planned to provide all the food. That is not a potluck.

OP did not tell them no. So this is a potluck. “Just bring yourselves” is what you say if you provide all the food.

Many people will bring something anyway since they were taught to never go to someone's house empty-handed. That doesn't make it a potluck.

[Anonymous]

No. I don't want it back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask the host what they prefer.
What I don't understand is when other people (the guests) descend upon leftover food and take it home without invitation from the host. To me, that's super rude!

It seems super rude to me, too. The host has dibs. Then the person who brought it gets to decide to offer it to other guests or take it home.

I don't know... if you are asking people to bring food to your party, you are hosting a potluck. The etiquette for a potluck is that everyone takes their items home. You can't have it both ways.

This. I don't "host" pot-lucks, but seems normal to me. If I am hosting, I provide all the food and beverages for my guest.

Maybe this is a regional etiquette thing? I have never been to a 'potluck' where the expectation was taking it home. You go to someone's house, you don't take what you brought back, this is just super rude unless the host is offering/encouraging.

Agree with others I would in fact go out of my way to transfer whatever I brought to bring my dish home and that is IT.

New England culturally FWIW.

I was taught this too. West coaster.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I hate the idea of anyone thinking I'm rude so I would definitely leave whatever food I brought unless host asked me to take it.

BUT as a host, if I had people bringing a lot of food to my house I may want them to take the leftovers back because: I don't have room to store it all, don't want to have to wash and return the dishes, won't be able to eat all the leftovers before they go bad, etc. then I would ask them to take their food back with them/would be cool with it if they took the food back with them.

If it was something that seems more like a hostess gift (nice bottle of wine or store-bought specialty dessert item or something similar), then I think it's weird if they take it back because it's the type of item you'd bring intending it to be a gift and that the host would undoubtedly assume was to be a gift so it would be very awkward if a guest took something like that back.

Since you're talking brunch, IDK it really depends...I don't want my guests' leftover breakfast casserole but I would want the leftover chocolate croissants from the bakery.

[Anonymous]

I'm trying to imagine the type of person who would commit such a faux pas. Do they bring their half-eaten pumpkin pie home from Thanksgiving dinner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I hate the idea of anyone thinking I'm rude so I would definitely leave whatever food I brought unless host asked me to take it.

BUT as a host, if I had people bringing a lot of food to my house I may want them to take the leftovers back because: I don't have room to store it all, don't want to have to wash and return the dishes, won't be able to eat all the leftovers before they go bad, etc. then I would ask them to take their food back with them/would be cool with it if they took the food back with them.

If it was something that seems more like a hostess gift (nice bottle of wine or store-bought specialty dessert item or something similar), then I think it's weird if they take it back because it's the type of item you'd bring intending it to be a gift and that the host would undoubtedly assume was to be a gift so it would be very awkward if a guest took something like that back.

Since you're talking brunch, IDK it really depends...I don't want my guests' leftover breakfast casserole but I would want the leftover chocolate croissants from the bakery.

I have boys, there would never be leftover chocolate croissants…sigh

[Anonymous]

I love leftovers but I don't need all the leftovers.

If you bring it in a nice dish/bowl I expect you to take it with you. If it's something I want some of I will put some in a tupperware.

[Anonymous]

No, its strange but as the host if you are providing enough food, decline the offer.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the camp of ask first if unsure but in my group of friends, we always take ours back so there is less cleanup for the host.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the camp of ask first if unsure but in my group of friends, we always take ours back so there is less cleanup for the host.

This!

I've started taking mine back (after asking the host if they would like to keep it) and requesting people take theirs back when I host.

With gatherings I go to we usually end up with way too much food and nobody has enough room to store all the leftovers or the desire to eat all the leftovers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask the host what they prefer.
What I don't understand is when other people (the guests) descend upon leftover food and take it home without invitation from the host. To me, that's super rude!

It seems super rude to me, too. The host has dibs. Then the person who brought it gets to decide to offer it to other guests or take it home.

I don't know... if you are asking people to bring food to your party, you are hosting a potluck. The etiquette for a potluck is that everyone takes their items home. You can't have it both ways.

OP did not ask them to bring food; they offered or asked what they could bring. She had planned to provide all the food. That is not a potluck.

OP did not tell them no. So this is a potluck. “Just bring yourselves” is what you say if you provide all the food.

Many people will bring something anyway since they were taught to never go to someone's house empty-handed. That doesn't make it a potluck.

It does though. If you’re having a brunch and friends show up with a casserole, dozen bagels and cream cheese, box of bagels, and champagne you’re having a pot luck b/c all those foods will be servied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask the host what they prefer.
What I don't understand is when other people (the guests) descend upon leftover food and take it home without invitation from the host. To me, that's super rude!

It seems super rude to me, too. The host has dibs. Then the person who brought it gets to decide to offer it to other guests or take it home.

I don't know... if you are asking people to bring food to your party, you are hosting a potluck. The etiquette for a potluck is that everyone takes their items home. You can't have it both ways.

This. I don't "host" pot-lucks, but seems normal to me. If I am hosting, I provide all the food and beverages for my guest.

Maybe this is a regional etiquette thing? I have never been to a 'potluck' where the expectation was taking it home. You go to someone's house, you don't take what you brought back, this is just super rude unless the host is offering/encouraging.

Agree with others I would in fact go out of my way to transfer whatever I brought to bring my dish home and that is IT.

New England culturally FWIW.

I was taught this too. West coaster.

I think it depends on how the food came. In your baking dish or pie pan? Then it just goes back the way it came. If it’s disposable then it stays or goes back if the host asks you to take it. It’s weird to look for a plastic container in someone’s home to dump your dish into so they can keep it. It’s easier to just grab and go. And who wants to eat the food anyway if it’s been sitting out? I will take it, dump it at home, then clean my dish. It’s no good to anyone else anyway.