Brunch at friends house, do you take home what you brought?

Anonymous
I invite my friends to my house for brunch. They usually offer to bring something or ask, what can I bring? When they leave they take all the food back home with them. Is this normal behavior?

When I grew up this would be considered like a “gift” for the host. We took our food dish back but never the food. These friends are well off but they are the same friends that whip out their calculators after a group lunch out.

Do you take back food you brought? If you bring a pie say for thanksgiving do you take the uneaten part back home?

I’m very confused by this behavior
Anonymous
I normally ask the host if they’d like me to leave some, otherwise I take it. When I host I really don’t have room for 16 different half eaten dishes, bottles of wine or desserts. I really don’t want to deal with their dishes either.

I appreciate it when people take their things.
Anonymous
No! I wouldn't take the food back home. I take it in a disposable container for that very purpose. That's yours to keep. If you'd like, you could get sectioned off to-go containers for them to take with them with leftovers. But I don't think that's necessary.
Anonymous
Asking is the best route. Whatever I bring it's with intention of leaving it, but if the host will just toss it, I'm taking it back.
Anonymous
I ask the host what they prefer.
What I don't understand is when other people (the guests) descend upon leftover food and take it home without invitation from the host. To me, that's super rude!
Anonymous
Give it to folks that want it - if people don’t seem to like it, take it back. Ask.
Anonymous
Always leave it unless the host specifically asks you to take it back.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I ask the host what they prefer.
What I don't understand is when other people (the guests) descend upon leftover food and take it home without invitation from the host. To me, that's super rude!


It seems super rude to me, too. The host has dibs. Then the person who brought it gets to decide to offer it to other guests or take it home.
Anonymous
I always go with the intention of leaving it. I agree super rude to not, there is a whole Seinfeld episode about this! The Rye!

Frequently the host will request people bring something home and in that case I sometimes will do so but it is not like, 'grab the thing I brought' but more like, 'make a little plate of leftovers' type thing.
Anonymous
In my circle we'd either leave it OR divide up everything so everyone takes a bit of leftovers home.

I know one person who will go to a party and bring a 6 pack of beer, and take back the 1 or 2 they have remaining at the end. They would definitely take back their food lol.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I ask the host what they prefer.
What I don't understand is when other people (the guests) descend upon leftover food and take it home without invitation from the host. To me, that's super rude!


It seems super rude to me, too. The host has dibs. Then the person who brought it gets to decide to offer it to other guests or take it home.


I don't know... if you are asking people to bring food to your party, you are hosting a potluck. The etiquette for a potluck is that everyone takes their items home. You can't have it both ways.
Anonymous
They don’t want you to have to deal with the clean up, or to get the dish back to them if it isn’t disposable. If I brought veggies and dip on my own platter I’d take it home. If it was a plastic one bought premade at a store, I might leave it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I ask the host what they prefer.
What I don't understand is when other people (the guests) descend upon leftover food and take it home without invitation from the host. To me, that's super rude!



Agree on both counts.
Anonymous
You take your own food back only if the host urges you to.

Your friends lack social graces, OP.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Always leave it unless the host specifically asks you to take it back.


This. You may ask to transfer it to a different container if you brought one that you want back.
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