Brunch at friends house, do you take home what you brought?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Always leave it unless the host specifically asks you to take it back.

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This happens at all my hosted brunches or dinners with this group. It’s not a potluck. And this is like 4 groups of friends all taking their items back. Half eaten guacamole, even scooping out of the serving dish. Half bag of chips. Sometimes they ask if you’re not going to eat this I’ll take it back. But I feel like it’s rude for me to say yes please leave it. So I say they can have it back but just the fact that they take it back or ask I feel is rude and don’t know if there is anything I can politely say about it. Oh well. Thank you for making me feel normal lol!

I said that I would leave whatever I brought unless the host urged me to take it back.
However, I wouldn’t assume that you’d like to keep half eaten guacamole. In that case, I might take it to save it from dealing with having to throw it out.

[Anonymous]

I think there’s a difference between a potluck with no specific host, like a neighborhood or church picnic where you might sign up what to bring.
And bringing a dish to a meal with a specific host.
I’m from a culture where potluck or bringing food is very uncommon, unless it’s a hostess gift.
In the US, I’ve only known that the hostess might offer to make a plate of leftovers to take home, ie a mix of things that were brought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Always leave it unless the host specifically asks you to take it back.

This!

+2

I was always taught to offer to bring something if someone is hosting (a football game or casual get together) which these days I think has replaced a more formal host/hostess gift. If the host prefers us not to, we bring a nice wine or beer, something they can serve that night or keep to enjoy later as a thank you for having us over. We have friends who ALWAYS take their food back - and will also sk for extra food (hamburgers or hotdogs at bbqs) even if they leave early - they are known for being frugal to the point of rudeness and never serving enough food at their own parties. Culturally, we are Asian and it’s the epitome of rudeness to not have enough food. We also have a tradition of sending people home with leftovers, but more so family gatherings. I actually prefer not to give our frugal friends leftovers because I find them rude and don’t want to encourage their behavior. With our normal friends if they are hosting and there are lots of leftovers we will ask if it’s okay to leave it all and even if they decline will offerto leave a portion in a Tupperware for them, . We always bring our contribution in a disposable container so if most is eaten we can just leave it behind.

[Anonymous]

Ask the host, would you prefer I take this home or would you like to me to leave it. Or something like that.

If they say something like oh I don’t know how we’ll eat this all, maybe better for you to take home…. Don’t continue to pressure the host to keep it. I find it really annoying as a host to do the whole dance with my guest at the end of the event where they pressure me to put some on my own container “to have for tomorrow”. I didn’t want it! Now I have a whole other dish to wash. Please just believe me when I answer your question.