Why are teenagers so hard?

[Anonymous]

There is only one time in my life I've considered mood-stabilizing medications and it was when I had teens.

[Anonymous]

Because teens can talk back, with attitude.

Crying is one thing; the talking back with attitude is something else.

That said, my teens aren't that difficult, but the moodiness, ugh..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is only one time in my life I've considered mood-stabilizing medications and it was when I had teens.

my 16 yr old DD herself needs SSRIs.

[Anonymous]

I can't stand the teen years. It's constant worry/hard emotional work/still a lot of physical demands/huge stakes everything/almost zero reward other than when I see them doing well and being happy which is rarely both of them at once. I hope it gets better when they get in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is only one time in my life I've considered mood-stabilizing medications and it was when I had teens.

Is it better now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is only one time in my life I've considered mood-stabilizing medications and it was when I had teens.

Is it better now?

Yes. So much better. I never got organized enough to get to a doctor and once the youngest was at college, my anxiety about everything just *poof* went away. I love having launched, adult children. We have a great relationship and can even talk about how hard those years were for all of us.

[Anonymous]

I actually enjoyed the teen years more than the elementary school years. Teens can be moody and the issues can be heavier, but I appreciated how you could have frank and honest conversations with them and call them out when needed. I liked seeing who they were becoming as independent people even though there were times I wanted to scream from the roof tops.

The baby toddler period was a different kind of taxing for me. Enjoyed it at the time but was happy to have it behind me.

But the precocious behaviors, competitive parents and mid to upper elementary years were just not enjoyable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually enjoyed the teen years more than the elementary school years. Teens can be moody and the issues can be heavier, but I appreciated how you could have frank and honest conversations with them and call them out when needed. I liked seeing who they were becoming as independent people even though there were times I wanted to scream from the roof tops.

The baby toddler period was a different kind of taxing for me. Enjoyed it at the time but was happy to have it behind me.

But the precocious behaviors, competitive parents and mid to upper elementary years were just not enjoyable.

I hated the parent crap in elementary years, but LOVED the actual kids. In later years I am so surprised some people are still doing the parent crap willingly when they don't need to. I personally could not take that plus the tough teen part, I'd go insane. I have completely removed myself from parent dynamics.

[Anonymous]

Because when there is an issue that “issue” is generally bigger. For example, rather than worrying your child hasn’t had a bowl movement in 24 hours you’re wondering if they are having s@x in the back of the car, are they going to get into a physical altercation, is the car they are riding in going to be involved in an accident….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is 15. I enjoy his sense of humor when he is in the mood to be interactive, but he seems to want to avoid me most of the time, unless he is in an especially good mood. I admire his athleticism.

I am not sure why he is so avoidant, as I'm not especially strict.

Same issue here. After years of easy communications, it now feels awkward. He has gravitated so much to his dad. I’m glad he feels more comfortable with him, but I miss him.

He’s overall a good kid and responsible, so I guess this is just a minor thing I need to deal with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because when there is an issue that “issue” is generally bigger. For example, rather than worrying your child hasn’t had a bowl movement in 24 hours you’re wondering if they are having s@x in the back of the car, are they going to get into a physical altercation, is the car they are riding in going to be involved in an accident….

…if they are going to develop an eating disorder, get sexually assaulted like 1 in 6 people are, determine how to treat their depression and/or anxiety before it becomes debilitating and not have them self medicate through drugs and alcohol, etc.

[Anonymous]

The teen years feel like a long, hard day for me. Too many little aggravations to enjoy anything. No school today and dd already had three freak outs over stupid things. Yesterday was ds. It never ends. None of it is even that important, just annoying, constant nagging/whining/being upset/crap to solve.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I didn’t grow up in the US (expat kid) and we weren’t able to drive until we were 18 and there was really good public transportation so our parents didn’t have to drive us around. There was definitely drinking but it wasn’t underage because it was legal so there wasn’t really binge drinking. There were no drugs and not that many people were having sex (only the established couples). We were all very studious in high school. I definitely grew up in a more innocent time and place! I never thought about the ramifications of bringing up a teenager in the states!

[Anonymous]

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from parenting, it’s not to wish the years away. Every stage has its annoyances, where you think “I can’t WAIT for them to stop doing (thing that is driving you crazy). Everything will be golden then.” Eventually they do outgrow (thing that is driving you crazy), but then (new thing that drives you crazy) comes along to replace it. Just as Thing A gets easier, Thing B rears it head. There’s never a point where you think, “I’ve arrived.” It’s a never ending game of wack a mole.

For example, I couldn’t wait for my twins to walk so I could stop carrying them everywhere and actually take them places. But then I quickly realized that walking brought a whole new set of issues, from running in two different directions in a busy parking lot to detouring through every.single.mud.puddle. Once we got that under control, riding bikes and getting them out of the house on time became the next challenge. And so on.

All you can do is enjoy each stage as it comes, and trust that the work and love you put in now will pay off later. Teens can be difficult, but they also can be pretty awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If there’s one thing I’ve learned from parenting, it’s not to wish the years away. Every stage has its annoyances, where you think “I can’t WAIT for them to stop doing (thing that is driving you crazy). Everything will be golden then.” Eventually they do outgrow (thing that is driving you crazy), but then (new thing that drives you crazy) comes along to replace it. Just as Thing A gets easier, Thing B rears it head. There’s never a point where you think, “I’ve arrived.” It’s a never ending game of wack a mole.

For example, I couldn’t wait for my twins to walk so I could stop carrying them everywhere and actually take them places. But then I quickly realized that walking brought a whole new set of issues, from running in two different directions in a busy parking lot to detouring through every.single.mud.puddle. Once we got that under control, riding bikes and getting them out of the house on time became the next challenge. And so on.

All you can do is enjoy each stage as it comes, and trust that the work and love you put in now will pay off later. Teens can be difficult, but they also can be pretty awesome.

How old are your twins?