Would you rat out the neighbor’s kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To add: We’re old and are friendly with these neighbors, but don’t socialize with them. We don’t have any kids at home.

I don't think the neighbor should have put you in this awkward position, especially if you're friendly but not close. It's not a question of safety like "I got an alert from our alarm company. Do you see any smoke coming out of our house?" or something practical like "I'm expecting an important package. Do you see a package in front of my door?" I don't think you should feel any obligation to respond. Your neighbor's disciplinary issues with their son is not your business and they shouldn't have involved you.

You’re making up an interpretation for why they are asking, and tailoring your response based on what you’re imagining as their reason. What if the girl is missing. Or is being fingered for a crime that happened overnight somewhere else. Just answer their question. Is X car at my house? Yes or no. You have no idea why they are asking. And if you say no and they respond “ok thanks- her parents are frantic and the police were just telling her to check all her friends houses first. I appreciate it!” then how are you going to circle back and say “well actually yeah it’s here, sorry, we were trying to cover for your 16 year old son”. Does that make you feel cool?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To add: We’re old and are friendly with these neighbors, but don’t socialize with them. We don’t have any kids at home.

I don't think the neighbor should have put you in this awkward position, especially if you're friendly but not close. It's not a question of safety like "I got an alert from our alarm company. Do you see any smoke coming out of our house?" or something practical like "I'm expecting an important package. Do you see a package in front of my door?" I don't think you should feel any obligation to respond. Your neighbor's disciplinary issues with their son is not your business and they shouldn't have involved you.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To add: We’re old and are friendly with these neighbors, but don’t socialize with them. We don’t have any kids at home.

I don't think the neighbor should have put you in this awkward position, especially if you're friendly but not close. It's not a question of safety like "I got an alert from our alarm company. Do you see any smoke coming out of our house?" or something practical like "I'm expecting an important package. Do you see a package in front of my door?" I don't think you should feel any obligation to respond. Your neighbor's disciplinary issues with their son is not your business and they shouldn't have involved you.

Exactly. I would text back at around 10 am you were trying to sleep in and unless it is an emergency not to text so early.

She was up at 5am going to the gym. Why are you guys making this out to be some weird massive imposition?

[Anonymous]

This is why you don't leave a 15 yr old home alone. If you don't trust your kid you should make other arrangements.

[Anonymous]

I think their question is actually the same as “do you see a package at my door”. It’s “do you see this specific car at my house”. It’s pretty simple to answer and you don’t need to involve yourself with the drama that may or may not be behind the question .

[Anonymous]

I’d answer honestly, but probably not right away and I’d only give a single word answer based on what I see at that moment. I’m not going to lie for the kid but I’m also not interested in monitoring him either.

[Anonymous]

Scenario- the girl just home and is crying , telling her parents she was raped. She refuses to say who, she just wants to go to the hospital. Parents are frantic. They text the boyfriend’s parents asking if she spent the night last night. Boyfriend’s parents as you.

You say nope, car wasn’t here. High five, neighbor son!

Girl decides the next day she does actually want to press charges. Police come to your neighbors house in a few days. Neighbors show the police your text. “She’s lying, her car wasn’t even here- see? Our neighbors who had no idea what was going on at the time said her car wasn’t here. She’s lying. It wasn’t our son”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The wife affirmatively asks , you answer the question honestly.

+1

[Anonymous]

Your husband sounds like a horrible person who wants to cover for the neighbor kid hoping he got laid. Is your husband normally this immature? Did he peak in high school? Just answer the neighbors question without details. “I’m at the gym but I saw it there when I left at 5”. Done. Maybe the girlfriend is supposed to be there to pet sit because the son had to be away that night and if you say no it’s not there, she’ll get in trouble. That sounds far fetched and dumb but it underscores the fact that you have no clue why they’re asking. The only answer is to just be honest.

[Anonymous]

Yes, tell. Suggest to your neighbors to get a security camera, if this is causing you consternations. You want to maintain good relationships with the neighbors, how'd you feel if they found out that you lied.

[Anonymous]

Of course you tell them the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the car isn’t there. It was there, it isn’t there now. So you could say “”Let me check…no, I don’t see that car.” Or you could say “I saw it a few hours ago but it’s gone now”.

It’s unfair to put you in this position and. Sophomore is too young to be left overnight imo.

I was doing overnight babysitting by that age. 15/16 is old enough to stay home without mommy and daddy.

Seeing as how this 15-ish year old had a girl over, overnight, against the rules, seems like in this case it is actually not old enough to make mature and responsible decisions.

[Anonymous]

I would tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since the wife/mom is asking, yes, I'd just answer the truth. I would not seek out the parents to deliver this information, but I see nothing wrong with being honest.

This. You’re being asked a direct question you don’t seek this out just to tell them.

[Anonymous]

Since you haven't answer in over an hour, they know what the answer is.