Would you rat out the neighbor’s kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since you haven't answer in over an hour, they know what the answer is.

Huh? That's ridiculous. Maybe they haven't seen my 7:30 AM text yet. I sure as heck wouldn't have seen it at 7:30 in the morning when I'm busy doing other stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the car isn’t there. It was there, it isn’t there now. So you could say “”Let me check…no, I don’t see that car.” Or you could say “I saw it a few hours ago but it’s gone now”.

It’s unfair to put you in this position and. Sophomore is too young to be left overnight imo.

I was doing overnight babysitting by that age. 15/16 is old enough to stay home without mommy and daddy.

Seeing as how this 15-ish year old had a girl over, overnight, against the rules, seems like in this case it is actually not old enough to make mature and responsible decisions.

Exactly. This one is not ready and his parents don't trust him. But, they didn't care and wanted to head out anyway. Now they are making it the neighbor's problem.

This is not a big deal, folks. The responses here make me glad I am not neighbors with you people. Geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would respond at 10a with the correct answer at 10a with a "sorry missed this earlier"

If you guys aren't close, she shouldn't be involving you in this.

They are obviously close enough to have each other's cell phone numbers. Hardly a big deal to take two seconds and look out the window and respond yes or no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to get a ring camera if she cares that much. It’s not fair to ask you to spy on her kid.

Which is why OP isn’t spying. She’s just answering a question about a vehicle in her driveway, yes or no. If this becomes a recurring thing I’d probably be with you and tell the neighbor that you don’t feel comfortable keeping an eye on her house while she is away (which makes you sound petty and like a bad neighbor but, it’s your choice and she should respect it). But she is asking one question, one time, that you have the answer to! You won’t even have to stand up and look out the window, or put forth any such effort! You just have to type “yes” and close your phone! This is hardly an imposition.

Exactly. Good neighbors keep an eye out in general. If OP happened to see someone lurking around their neighbor's house or around/in their neighbor's car parked on the street at 1 a.m., should they do nothing? not call the police? not let the neighbor know even when they've returned? Mind their own business?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here!

7:35 AM - Neighbor texts.
7:40 AM - Husband texts a photo of their house back with the car still there.
7:42 AM - Neighbor texts back "thanks, don't want to be grandmother yet."

Sorry I didn't get back to this thread to update until now.

Get ready for the egging of your house.

Kid doesn't necessarily know how parents found out. OP clearly stated they don't socialize with these people. Could have been any neighbor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s done is done, but I wouldn’t have sent a picture.

Yeah, that's kind a weird. Much faster and simpler to text "yes."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would respond at 10a with the correct answer at 10a with a "sorry missed this earlier"

If you guys aren't close, she shouldn't be involving you in this.

Parents are abdicating their responsibility and involving you. I’d answer as above. This is not your problem.

Asking neighbors if there's any trouble going on at their house while away is not abdicating responsibility. It's actually demonstrating responsibility. They gave their son an opportunity to be responsible and earn/maintain their trust and he failed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They asked a particular factual question to which I would *usually* answer directly and honestly. However, I would be annoyed by this specific request to spy. I would likely not answer the text. And later in the day when the car is not there, the car is not there would be my answer.

If you don't like what *might* happen if you go out of town, you don't go out of town. No amount of specific "rules" will matter. And you don't get to feel like a better parent because you are asking neighbors to stand-in for you, spy, and catch your teen disobeying your rules.

Oh for cryin' out loud. They didn't ask OP to go peak in the windows and see if their kid was having sex. Looking out the window to the public street is not "spying."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a neighbor (doesn’t matter if it’s one I’m close to or not) texts and asks me a direct question like this, I answer it. I’m not going to lie or ignore the text (so rude) or pretend I didn’t see the text til hours later and then answer once the car is gone (which is also a form of lying, BTW). I get that you don’t want to be in the middle of it, OP, and I wouldn’t either. But if someone asks me a question I’ll answer without lying or pretending not to know or ignoring.

If you don’t want them to ask you similar in the future, tell them so. Be direct.

Agreed. If the neighbor then asks me to do more, I can say I'm not comfortable with that. But this is such a simple and basic exchange. I can't believe how many people would avoid or lie or feel this is some great imposition. If you never want your neighbor to contact you, don't give them your phone #.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Text back hi, away from home and just got your message. If helpful, happy to go ask your son when get home or ask him to call you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The wife affirmatively asks , you answer the question honestly.

+1
You're not don't anything wrong by answering a simple question.

Of course OP not doing anything wrong but the asker IS. It’s not for neighbor to monitor the son. The parents left and did not hire neighbor to babysit. If parents want a question answered, ask the son. If the son isn’t answering and need welfare check, the parents should call police. Way out of line to ask neighbor to be monitoring kid.

Neighbor isn't asking OP to monitor the son. Neighbor is asking OP whether a certain car was at their house. If anything, it's more like asking them to monitor their house for a whole 2 seconds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldnt tell.

You'd lie?

No, I simply wouldn't respond. Nothing to do with me.

Hope you're never out of town and need to contact a neighbor about something regarding your house or property, 'cause it has nothing to do with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does it matter if this kid is 15 or 16? It's irresponsible parenting either way. The point is: the parents abdicated their responsibility. Shameful parenting, and crappy to put the detective work on a neighbor.

You have no idea why the parents are out of town. Maybe there was a family situation and they had to leave and, yes, 15 or 16 is old enough to leave a child un-attended. And it's perfectly right and ok for the parents to check-in with their kid and neighbors to make sure things are ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Text back: Why don't you ask your son?

This is just stupid. You know perfectly well why they don't just ask their son. And maybe they did and they are merely verifying son's answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A couple on our street is out of town and their HS sophomore is home.

The wife just texted (7:30 AM) to ask if there’s a particular car at their house. It’s the girlfriend’s car and it was there when I left for the gym at 5 AM.

My husband says we don’t tell. I think we should. What would you do?

I would tell the truth