Have you been propositioned?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean if you would have flirted back then you have been directly propositioned. Most men aren’t going to pursue a woman who is giving go away vibes.

OP here. By flirting I mean the man is usually trying to make me laugh or strike a conversation largely out of nowhere. It’s always pretty innocent and I usually giggle or make small talk and enjoy the moment but it’s never risen to the level of real sexual tension or anything explicit. I can tell when a man likes me. I’ve just never had real sexual tension with anyone other than my husband since before I was dating him!

And yes, I hang out at church but even if I wasn’t, I’m married, I’m not going to bars or something. Where are all these married women on this forum getting propositioned?

Most of us have jobs and we sometimes travel for them? Do you not work?

[Anonymous]

Guy here. Yes, multiple times over the years. Generally by women I had history with and they knew I was interested in them (we had either dated, or there had been sexual tension in a friendship). Some of the women were married, some single.

I will admit to putting myself in positions that made this possible (usually being alone with them late at night without my wife present), but I always declined, and they took it well. It was never offered twice.

I’m tall, well educated, an extrovert, generally known as a nice person, and am successful in my professional life. My wife is also very attractive, and I wonder sometimes if that ever factored into it. Most of these women knew my wife, but they were all my friends, not hers (ie none of her friends have ever expressed romantic interest in me).

I’m only counting women that knew I was married or in a LTR (before marriage), and directly offered to have affairs. If you open it up to just getting hit on, or people you have sexual tension with, then it gets much larger. But, to be fair, likely much of that would never progress even if I reciprocated. And many of those didn’t know I was married (I don’t wear a ring). As an extrovert, I enjoy the interaction and tension, but have always stuck to flirting only.

[Anonymous]

I'm a guy. Never, not once.
Or maybe I missed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Churches have all kinds of freaks at them, you can definitely get propositioned there.

Man, married for 16 years, can't think of any propositions. Lots of flirting, so maybe I'm just dense, but never been aware if there was a proposition.

Right? Churches are always full of drama once you get to know people.

[Anonymous]

Female. Years ago I was at a 4 day “touchy feely” career development conference and on the last night one of the guys in our group said he “wanted to give me pleasure and he would make the conference memorable.” I got up and left. It turned out another couple in our group paired up for two nights. I traveled a lot on business and I was hit on plenty of times but only propositioned once, thankfully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean if you would have flirted back then you have been directly propositioned. Most men aren’t going to pursue a woman who is giving go away vibes.

OP here. By flirting I mean the man is usually trying to make me laugh or strike a conversation largely out of nowhere. It’s always pretty innocent and I usually giggle or make small talk and enjoy the moment but it’s never risen to the level of real sexual tension or anything explicit. I can tell when a man likes me. I’ve just never had real sexual tension with anyone other than my husband since before I was dating him!

And yes, I hang out at church but even if I wasn’t, I’m married, I’m not going to bars or something. Where are all these married women on this forum getting propositioned?

Most of us have jobs and we sometimes travel for them? Do you not work?

I used to work in an office but now work from home. Although I traveled for work in the past and go on trips by myself with girlfriends- no propositions yet!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:95% of the women posting on these forums are likely undatable by looks. Don't believe what you read.

And you’re a 10? The DCUM resident incel has entered the chat.

[Anonymous]

Late-40's male. I go out to bars with my male friends once or twice a month, and if it's the type of bar that attracts the older (non-college) crowd, I'll often get middle aged divorcées approaching me or flirting. I don't wear a wedding ring any more (circulation issues with fingers), but I do dress well, have all my hair, and I work out regularly. I'm guessing there's not much out there on the market in my age range. They do step it down a notch when I mentioned my wife and kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm a guy. I was propositioned a couple of times during my first marriage when I was in my late 20s. So maybe it's an age thing?

The boldest was a woman who asked me as I was walking down the street if "I needed a ride?" I told her my car was nearby, but she suggested "it would be more fun" if I got in the car with her. I told her I was married but she insisted my wife didn't have to know. I did have on a suit so maybe I looked safe? But that was pretty wild!

[Anonymous]

Why are you fixating on this? Bizarre.

Propositioning someone is NOT a compliment. It’s an insult. It means they think you are cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy. I was propositioned a couple of times during my first marriage when I was in my late 20s. So maybe it's an age thing?

The boldest was a woman who asked me as I was walking down the street if "I needed a ride?" I told her my car was nearby, but she suggested "it would be more fun" if I got in the car with her. I told her I was married but she insisted my wife didn't have to know. I did have on a suit so maybe I looked safe? But that was pretty wild!

If this actually happened to you, she was at work. You’re not very smart, are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy. I was propositioned a couple of times during my first marriage when I was in my late 20s. So maybe it's an age thing?

The boldest was a woman who asked me as I was walking down the street if "I needed a ride?" I told her my car was nearby, but she suggested "it would be more fun" if I got in the car with her. I told her I was married but she insisted my wife didn't have to know. I did have on a suit so maybe I looked safe? But that was pretty wild!

If this actually happened to you, she was at work. You’re not very smart, are you?

So streetwalkers are now... cardrivers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy. I was propositioned a couple of times during my first marriage when I was in my late 20s. So maybe it's an age thing?

The boldest was a woman who asked me as I was walking down the street if "I needed a ride?" I told her my car was nearby, but she suggested "it would be more fun" if I got in the car with her. I told her I was married but she insisted my wife didn't have to know. I did have on a suit so maybe I looked safe? But that was pretty wild!

If this actually happened to you, she was at work. You’re not very smart, are you?

Can't rule that out but it was the middle of the day outside a library. I used to work the night shift at a warehouse near a red light district so I know what streetwalkers look like/how they operate. They usually congregate in a known location in the evenings, not try to pick up random guys in the middle of the day anyplace.

[Anonymous]

We need to set some standards here, being hit on propositioned or flirted with is a gigantic gray area.

What isn’t hitting on someone:
A man giving a polite smile while you pass each other in a hallway, street or grocery store aisle is not hitting on you. A man making polite conversation in a waiting room is also not hitting on you. a man holding a door is not hitting on you.

What is hitting on someone:
You are beautiful, are you free for lunch?
I have never been so fascinated by someone so quickly, please God tell me you’re not married?
my flight doesn’t leave for four hours, would you like to come up to my room to relax a while?
That necklace lands in the most perfect spot on your neck, I’m sorry but I can’t concentrate on anything else.


So what’ll ll it be girls, are you being hit on or are these just everyday social situations where people are being polite to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
So what’ll ll it be girls, are you being hit on or are these just everyday social situations where people are being polite to you?

DC is frumptown. The men were being polite.