Have you been propositioned?

[Anonymous]

A lot of married women in this forum claim that they had many offers or opportunities to sleep with other men.

I have not.

In 16 years of marriage, I have had a few unappealing men hit on me, and I've had a few flirtatious conversations, but I would never go so far as to say I've had an opportunity to sleep with a man that I would sleep with if I weren't married. It simply has never happened.

I don't know if this is a looks thing or an opportunity thing. I am a homebody who mostly socializes around church events, so that could be it. But I think I'm pretty attractive or at least cute. You would think in 16 years something would have happened!

[Anonymous]

I assume some of it is exaggeration. But if you are hanging out at church rather than a hotel bar, the vibe is going to be very different.

[Anonymous]

Yes. But why care?

[Anonymous]

the responses needs to include gender.

M, never (shocker)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume some of it is exaggeration. But if you are hanging out at church rather than a hotel bar, the vibe is going to be very different.

OP is literally hanging out at church.

Yes, I have been asked back to hotel rooms at times, but usually I shut it down at the bar. All you have to do is talk about your husband in a nice way. You can have a fun chat at a hotel or airport bar and signal you are not up for more. Don’t touch, for one. If you touch you signal possibility.

[Anonymous]

I mean if you would have flirted back then you have been directly propositioned. Most men aren’t going to pursue a woman who is giving go away vibes.

[Anonymous]

I was not while I was married. However since taking my rings off (imminent divorce) I’ve been asked out a number of times. Part of it could be I’m out more alone, part of it could be that men actually look at your rings.

[Anonymous]

You hang out at churches and you're wondering why men don't proposition you?

[Anonymous]

I have been married for 10 years and have not been propositioned, but that’s likely because I am not flirty in the least with other men. No judgment, I think harmless flirting is nothing to be worried about, it’s just not my personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean if you would have flirted back then you have been directly propositioned. Most men aren’t going to pursue a woman who is giving go away vibes.

So you don't even need to be propositioned for it to count as a proposition. Flirting is sufficient?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean if you would have flirted back then you have been directly propositioned. Most men aren’t going to pursue a woman who is giving go away vibes.

OP here. By flirting I mean the man is usually trying to make me laugh or strike a conversation largely out of nowhere. It’s always pretty innocent and I usually giggle or make small talk and enjoy the moment but it’s never risen to the level of real sexual tension or anything explicit. I can tell when a man likes me. I’ve just never had real sexual tension with anyone other than my husband since before I was dating him!

And yes, I hang out at church but even if I wasn’t, I’m married, I’m not going to bars or something. Where are all these married women on this forum getting propositioned?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of married women in this forum claim that they had many offers or opportunities to sleep with other men.

I have not.

In 16 years of marriage, I have had a few unappealing men hit on me, and I've had a few flirtatious conversations, but I would never go so far as to say I've had an opportunity to sleep with a man that I would sleep with if I weren't married. It simply has never happened.

I don't know if this is a looks thing or an opportunity thing. I am a homebody who mostly socializes around church events, so that could be it. But I think I'm pretty attractive or at least cute. You would think in 16 years something would have happened!

Man here.

Yeah, one NYE.

No, I am nothing special.

It was odd.

I declined.

[Anonymous]

If you hang out in church why do you want to be propositioned?

[Anonymous]

Whenever I am out on the social scene ie. dancing or at a bar, men hit on me but as soon as I mention that I am married they respectfully back away.

I think most strange men, even outside of church, respect marriage. I imagine propositions only happen long after some form of intimacy is already there. Coworkers, exes, someone who has some level of familiarity with you and thinks they can get away with it. Or isn’t thinking at all, even.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you hang out in church why do you want to be propositioned?

I don’t necessarily want that, I just want to know where all these married women on DCUM are going that they claim they have had “many opportunities” to be with other men.