Have you been propositioned?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you hang out in church why do you want to be propositioned?

Probably OP is wandering "if she still got it".

[Anonymous]

No, unless you also include indirect, not-quite-put-into-words propositioning. Which I appreciate but pretend not to understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean if you would have flirted back then you have been directly propositioned. Most men aren’t going to pursue a woman who is giving go away vibes.

Not a proposition by any stretch of the imagination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Male. While in college I spent a summer bumming my way through Europe, often traveling alone. I often traveled by train and meet a girl traveling solo and after a few hours you’d reach the next city and she’d ask if I’d like to share a room to save money. While not a direct proposition it always led to sex. One time it was two girls and that was quite memorable. Since then life has been a bit more boring.

OP asked about married experiences, so technically this doesn't count! SOunds like you had a good time though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male. While in college I spent a summer bumming my way through Europe, often traveling alone. I often traveled by train and meet a girl traveling solo and after a few hours you’d reach the next city and she’d ask if I’d like to share a room to save money. While not a direct proposition it always led to sex. One time it was two girls and that was quite memorable. Since then life has been a bit more boring.

OP asked about married experiences, so technically this doesn't count! SOunds like you had a good time though!

bad penthouse letter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:M here, 52 - I've had women flirt with me but there are two clear incidents come to mind - both involved business. trips. All of my colleagues know I am not just married but very happily married (and we have 3 kids).

1 - colleague about 8-10 years younger than me had been trying to flirt with me throughout a week long overseas business trip (we were a large group of about 9 people on the trip). toward the end of the week as we were all finishing a team dinner she asked me if we could chat quickly about her part of the report she was drafting. I gave her some general advice and told her to email the draft and I would review it. About 10-15 minutes after I was in my room alone, she knocked on the door and was standing there in a robe and suggested that we could talk 1:1. It took a second to simply process what was happening but I politely told her this was not going to happen and sent her away.

2 - fast forward a few years , another overseas business trip and a different colleague literally jumped into my lap as we were in a cab driving to the hotel from dinner. I told her I'm a happily married man and that I love my wife. As we arrived to the hotel, she offered an apology suggested that perhaps we could talk about this upstairs in her room. Told her I didn't think that was a good idea and said goodnight.

How come these things never happen to me? A certain kind of woman like me, but other than that, nothing.

Not PP, but have had similar without cheating or trying. I have ADHD so women catch my wandering eyes and then start chatting with me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Male. While in college I spent a summer bumming my way through Europe, often traveling alone. I often traveled by train and meet a girl traveling solo and after a few hours you’d reach the next city and she’d ask if I’d like to share a room to save money. While not a direct proposition it always led to sex. One time it was two girls and that was quite memorable. Since then life has been a bit more boring.

Were you married? I think that’s the point of this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you hang out in church why do you want to be propositioned?

Probably OP is wandering "if she still got it".

Maybe…😇

I do get “hit” on by men who are way too old for me. Nothing about coming up to their room but definitely “are you married?” Or “what language do you speak? (I look vaguely ethnic) “can you teach me?” It’s actually sort of depressing more than anything and I don’t count it.

[Anonymous]

I’m a little socially dense so I may have missed something. However, the only times I’ve been propositioned was when old boyfriends reached out in writing wanting to get together. The answer was to ignore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:M here, 52 - I've had women flirt with me but there are two clear incidents come to mind - both involved business. trips. All of my colleagues know I am not just married but very happily married (and we have 3 kids).

1 - colleague about 8-10 years younger than me had been trying to flirt with me throughout a week long overseas business trip (we were a large group of about 9 people on the trip). toward the end of the week as we were all finishing a team dinner she asked me if we could chat quickly about her part of the report she was drafting. I gave her some general advice and told her to email the draft and I would review it. About 10-15 minutes after I was in my room alone, she knocked on the door and was standing there in a robe and suggested that we could talk 1:1. It took a second to simply process what was happening but I politely told her this was not going to happen and sent her away.

2 - fast forward a few years , another overseas business trip and a different colleague literally jumped into my lap as we were in a cab driving to the hotel from dinner. I told her I'm a happily married man and that I love my wife. As we arrived to the hotel, she offered an apology suggested that perhaps we could talk about this upstairs in her room. Told her I didn't think that was a good idea and said goodnight.

How come these things never happen to me? A certain kind of woman like me, but other than that, nothing.

Because you are not good looking or charismatic enough. You’re lucky that one type of woman seems to like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a little socially dense so I may have missed something. However, the only times I’ve been propositioned was when old boyfriends reached out in writing wanting to get together. The answer was to ignore.

Men only proposition a married women after she sends a welcoming signal. Definitely won't happen if you're socially inept unless you count the metro homeless cat calls as propositions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need to set some standards here, being hit on propositioned or flirted with is a gigantic gray area.

What isn’t hitting on someone:
A man giving a polite smile while you pass each other in a hallway, street or grocery store aisle is not hitting on you. A man making polite conversation in a waiting room is also not hitting on you. a man holding a door is not hitting on you.

What is hitting on someone:
You are beautiful, are you free for lunch?
I have never been so fascinated by someone so quickly, please God tell me you’re not married?
my flight doesn’t leave for four hours, would you like to come up to my room to relax a while?
That necklace lands in the most perfect spot on your neck, I’m sorry but I can’t concentrate on anything else.


So what’ll ll it be girls, are you being hit on or are these just everyday social situations where people are being polite to you?

The bolded is most definitely a proposition.

The definition of proposition is pretty clear: the person has to actually propose sexual relations right then and there.

I think inviting up to a hotel room is just that. I dont think many people say "lets go have sex" they say "lets go upstairs". Same thing here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a little socially dense so I may have missed something. However, the only times I’ve been propositioned was when old boyfriends reached out in writing wanting to get together. The answer was to ignore.

Men only proposition a married women after she sends a welcoming signal. Definitely won't happen if you're socially inept unless you count the metro homeless cat calls as propositions.

not true.

some men will proposition a brick wall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was not while I was married. However since taking my rings off (imminent divorce) I’ve been asked out a number of times. Part of it could be I’m out more alone, part of it could be that men actually look at your rings.

Part of it could be you feel more confident now w divorce imminent and men can sense that.

[Anonymous]

I have not. I did get flirted with by a married man at a hotel bar, but I don't think I gave off hoe vibes. At least not enough that he was going to offer to pay.