When your kid is melting down and people try to "help"

[Anonymous]

When you let your child tantrum in public you put yourself in the position of getting unsolicited comments and advice. If you don’t like it remove your child when they melt down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you let your child tantrum in public you put yourself in the position of getting unsolicited comments and advice. If you don’t like it remove your child when they melt down.

way to miss the point! woooosssh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I were passing by, the only person I would even consider talking to is the parent as I said, “Hopefully you have a glass of wine waiting for you later today.”

I don’t want you to say this to me, please. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I'm in my 50s, children are young adults. I just walk on past you and your crying little ones. I do not say a word, or get involved in any way. It's your problem, not mine.

I walk to the other side of the store where it's blissfully quiet and begin my shopping there, far, far away from you and your crying child. By the time I reach the area where you were dealing with it, you are gone.

Works for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you say?

You are in the middle of trying to focus on them, calm them down and fix whatever situation got you there.

Recently I got:
Old gentleman asking my child if we were abusing them (this was an unhelpful joke)
A woman telling them how great they looked (when the outfit they were in was not the outfit for the event)
More people interacting with said child that were making the situation worse and not better.

I didn't say anything because what can I say? I've got this, thanks?

Are you one of those who keep yelling for a Village? Well, this is a part of your village. The Village isn't always there to babysit and tell you how wonderful you are!

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you say?

You are in the middle of trying to focus on them, calm them down and fix whatever situation got you there.

Recently I got:
Old gentleman asking my child if we were abusing them (this was an unhelpful joke)
A woman telling them how great they looked (when the outfit they were in was not the outfit for the event)
More people interacting with said child that were making the situation worse and not better.

I didn't say anything because what can I say? I've got this, thanks?

Are you one of those who keep yelling for a Village? Well, this is a part of your village. The Village isn't always there to babysit and tell you how wonderful you are!

Nobody wants your input, and it has nothing to do with “a village,” Nance. Your need for attention and butting in helps np one but you. Seek the attention you so desperately need elsewhere.

Control your kid in public.

DP, not a “Nance,” not a Boomer

[Anonymous]

Thing is, you clearly didn’t have it. They were trying to help diffuse an awkward situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you say?

You are in the middle of trying to focus on them, calm them down and fix whatever situation got you there.

Recently I got:
Old gentleman asking my child if we were abusing them (this was an unhelpful joke)
A woman telling them how great they looked (when the outfit they were in was not the outfit for the event)
More people interacting with said child that were making the situation worse and not better.

I didn't say anything because what can I say? I've got this, thanks?

Are you one of those who keep yelling for a Village? Well, this is a part of your village. The Village isn't always there to babysit and tell you how wonderful you are!

Nobody wants your input, and it has nothing to do with “a village,” Nance. Your need for attention and butting in helps np one but you. Seek the attention you so desperately need elsewhere.

Only parents of spoiled brats would have your reaction.

My 10 and 7 year old daughters are well-behaved, well-mannered, straight A students. They are complimented often.

But I have a nephew with special needs and I have seen with my own eyes all the attention seeking old people trying to butt in just to grasp the rare opportunity to feel some type of involvement. No one wants you. Deal.

I’m sorry you’re so insecure. I hope you feel better soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you say?

You are in the middle of trying to focus on them, calm them down and fix whatever situation got you there.

Recently I got:
Old gentleman asking my child if we were abusing them (this was an unhelpful joke)
A woman telling them how great they looked (when the outfit they were in was not the outfit for the event)
More people interacting with said child that were making the situation worse and not better.

I didn't say anything because what can I say? I've got this, thanks?

Are you one of those who keep yelling for a Village? Well, this is a part of your village. The Village isn't always there to babysit and tell you how wonderful you are!

Nobody wants your input, and it has nothing to do with “a village,” Nance. Your need for attention and butting in helps np one but you. Seek the attention you so desperately need elsewhere.

Control your kid in public.

DP, not a “Nance,” not a Boomer

you’ve got issues regardless of age/gender

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thing is, you clearly didn’t have it. They were trying to help diffuse an awkward situation.

who tf sees a stranger dealing with a tantruming toddler and thinks they need to “diffuse an awkward situation”???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many of us have learned that when dealing with a tantruming small child, a random comment by a stranger can shock them into breaking out of it. Hence someone complimenting on the outfit. Don’t get into battles over outfits, especially if the kid is already out in public in it. You don’t “understand” a toddler - you either redirect or remove. You can’t fix the fact that the water they’re drinking is wet. Kid continually heading towards the river gets everyone put in the car right now.

Which is probably where she was planning to take the stroller she was strapping him in.

[Anonymous]

I think something on the lines of, "Thanks for trying to help, but I've got this" is probably the best response.

I did appreciate the couple times when I was dealing with a tantrum and other patrons gave me moral support. One time I was wrestling my tantrumming kid into his carseat outside of a Starbucks and apologized to the guy who was parked next to us, and he said something to the effect of "It's okay, I've been there, the main thing is you have to be the one to win."

[Anonymous]

Recently this woman pulled over her car to “help” as my toddler was laid me it on the sidewalk. I know she thought she was being helpful but I was so frustrated w my kid and nearly in tears myself, it took every ounce of me not be rude to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also feel your pain. I am not exactly proud of this, but one time on a pleasant autumn saturday in georgetown, an older woman approached my tantruming toddler who kept running toward the canal trying to jump in, and as i held my squirming child and trued to put them in their stroller, she said to my kid “oh your mommy is being ao mean to you, poor baby”. And i roared at her “go away, leave me alone!”

Sympathetic as I am, you only proved her point unfortunately

+1
Just like the behavior you SHOULD show your tantruming toddler, ignore her comment and continue doing what needs to be done. Or just say, "thanks" and move on. I don't engage the toddler and I don't engage unhelpful strangers. I definitely don't engage rude strangers. The situation corrects itself quicker with little or no intervention.

So she should have just let her toddler jump into the canal. Ignore him?

OP, people are trying to help, but it’s not helpful. Just ignore & focus on dealing with your child.

[Anonymous]

People are just trying to help you out. Don’t let yourself take out on them the frustration you are really feeling towards your melting down kid.