When your kid is melting down and people try to "help"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A have a 4 year old with special needs so my experience maybe isn't applicable to all, but I have noticed that DD treats us the way we treat her. If we listen to her and use nice words and speak calmly to her and model saying thank you every time she displays good behavior, she uses nice words too and listens to us. If we yell at her and threaten her she does the same to us.

She's had a couple of very intense public meltdowns in the past and most people around us gave me knowing looks or found it funny, which I could appreci ofate. They stayed out of our way while I tried to remove her from the situation. Sometimes a kid is sleep deprived and constipated, and even if stern discipline were the answer, it would not help there.

Parenting is not so difficult that a parent doesn't know when their child is sleep deprived, over tired, needs a bathroom and takes them home to rest or to a public bathroom. As for constipation causing a tantrum that's a new one excuse and a rather stupid one as constipation doesn't occur suddenly. If you take your child out in public then don't keep them out until they are exhausted or hungry. You have a brain so use it.

Thanks for your perspective. I hope it made you feel good to write that, because you sound like a miserable person.

+1

. . . and now I want to add my constipation story. It actually didn’t cause a tantrum, but an explosion. After miralax for 4 days straight (and you can’t keep your kid in private for 4 days solid, so I’m sure we had some tantrums caused by constipation), we were out at the park when the miralax suddenly took effect. Yep, you guessed it were were in some deep $h!+

[Anonymous]

Have any of you ever heard of Fleet enemas? Stewed prunes. How about a diet with fiber!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A have a 4 year old with special needs so my experience maybe isn't applicable to all, but I have noticed that DD treats us the way we treat her. If we listen to her and use nice words and speak calmly to her and model saying thank you every time she displays good behavior, she uses nice words too and listens to us. If we yell at her and threaten her she does the same to us.

She's had a couple of very intense public meltdowns in the past and most people around us gave me knowing looks or found it funny, which I could appreci ofate. They stayed out of our way while I tried to remove her from the situation. Sometimes a kid is sleep deprived and constipated, and even if stern discipline were the answer, it would not help there.

Parenting is not so difficult that a parent doesn't know when their child is sleep deprived, over tired, needs a bathroom and takes them home to rest or to a public bathroom. As for constipation causing a tantrum that's a new one excuse and a rather stupid one as constipation doesn't occur suddenly. If you take your child out in public then don't keep them out until they are exhausted or hungry. You have a brain so use it.

Thanks for your perspective. I hope it made you feel good to write that, because you sound like a miserable person.

+1

. . . and now I want to add my constipation story. It actually didn’t cause a tantrum, but an explosion. After miralax for 4 days straight (and you can’t keep your kid in private for 4 days solid, so I’m sure we had some tantrums caused by constipation), we were out at the park when the miralax suddenly took effect. Yep, you guessed it were were in some deep $h!+

Don't ever complain about dogs in parks again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have any of you ever heard of Fleet enemas? Stewed prunes. How about a diet with fiber!

How about you stop talking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have any of you ever heard of Fleet enemas? Stewed prunes. How about a diet with fiber!

How about you stop talking?

I'm not talking. I am writing. Sad that you don't know the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's like slapping someone who is hysterical. It gets their attention and they snap out of the hysteria. Kid wants to cry then give him/her something they can really cry about-- a good swat on their bottom and then look them straight in the eyes and in a stern voice say ',SHUT UP.". They will stop immediately.

yes, if you want your kids to be in therapy as adults for child abuse, this would be a great idea…

Most adults these days are in therapy already or in need of it. This isn't a very convincing argument. Nobody can cope with anything.

Yes, most adults are in therapy BECAUSE they experienced these behaviors that the folks on this forum are advocating when they were kids.. . . like slapping your child.. . . name calling children brats. . . engaging in arguing with your child. . . telling them to ‘shut up’. . . I can’t remember all of these. If kids are heard, feel loved, and valued for who they are (tantrums and all the normal childhood stuff), then they don’t need therapy as adults. So yeah, most adults are in therapy, because they had bad parents, and now they cannot tolerate kids, because that behavior was not modeled to them when they were children. It’s a cycle that folks here are strongly advocating to continue and deepen. No thanks! I’ll let my kids be kids and if they tantrum in front of you, go ahead and judge. Seriously, it says more about you than you think.

Maybe, just maybe, being a parent is the hardest job in the world and no matter how good a job you do your kids still think you were bad at it and messed them up? Spanking has fallen out of fashion, yet teens have never been more depressed and unhappy and in need of therapy. Just wait, yours will get their turn.

Ha! I actually have a young adult now, so maybe, just maybe, I know a thing or two. I agree parenting is hard and my parents weren't brilliant, so just like when I didnt know something for school or work, I got training. There are some great parenting classes out there - mine was from a child development psychologist, it was a group class and I learned a ton!

You have one kid and think you’re some kind of expert?

I have 4 kids, one of whom is an adult and NO, I do not think I am an expert - for parenting there is no such thing. I am someone who can chime in on the different stages of life with some experience. Do you think you are the authority on who would have something to contribute here?

A brat is sometimes a brat. Disagree all you like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember telling people "you aren't helping".

I've said this so many times to unhelpful strangers (and sometimes family and friends) that my kid now says it, too. Once she was throwing a fit about leaving the playground after a long day in the car, and some random old lady wanted to insert herself into it, and my DD stopped what she was doing, looked at this lady, and said "This is between my mom and I. We've got it." She was 7

She was rude and you're proud of this?

Mom also taught her poor grammar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have any of you ever heard of Fleet enemas? Stewed prunes. How about a diet with fiber!

We do high fiber diet but it doesn't work. I've tried everything "natural"... judge away, what works for majority doesn't work for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's like slapping someone who is hysterical. It gets their attention and they snap out of the hysteria. Kid wants to cry then give him/her something they can really cry about-- a good swat on their bottom and then look them straight in the eyes and in a stern voice say ',SHUT UP.". They will stop immediately.

yes, if you want your kids to be in therapy as adults for child abuse, this would be a great idea…

Most adults these days are in therapy already or in need of it. This isn't a very convincing argument. Nobody can cope with anything.

Yes, most adults are in therapy BECAUSE they experienced these behaviors that the folks on this forum are advocating when they were kids.. . . like slapping your child.. . . name calling children brats. . . engaging in arguing with your child. . . telling them to ‘shut up’. . . I can’t remember all of these. If kids are heard, feel loved, and valued for who they are (tantrums and all the normal childhood stuff), then they don’t need therapy as adults. So yeah, most adults are in therapy, because they had bad parents, and now they cannot tolerate kids, because that behavior was not modeled to them when they were children. It’s a cycle that folks here are strongly advocating to continue and deepen. No thanks! I’ll let my kids be kids and if they tantrum in front of you, go ahead and judge. Seriously, it says more about you than you think.

Maybe, just maybe, being a parent is the hardest job in the world and no matter how good a job you do your kids still think you were bad at it and messed them up? Spanking has fallen out of fashion, yet teens have never been more depressed and unhappy and in need of therapy. Just wait, yours will get their turn.

Ha! I actually have a young adult now, so maybe, just maybe, I know a thing or two. I agree parenting is hard and my parents weren't brilliant, so just like when I didnt know something for school or work, I got training. There are some great parenting classes out there - mine was from a child development psychologist, it was a group class and I learned a ton!

You have one kid and think you’re some kind of expert?

I have 4 kids, one of whom is an adult and NO, I do not think I am an expert - for parenting there is no such thing. I am someone who can chime in on the different stages of life with some experience. Do you think you are the authority on who would have something to contribute here?

A brat is sometimes a brat. Disagree all you like.

I disagree that it's OK for an adult to name call children. So yes, we disagree.