When your kid is melting down and people try to "help"

[Anonymous]

I have to say, I only encountered this once or twice. All I said was "I appreciate that you are trying to help, but he needs some space to calm down." That resolved it.

[Anonymous]

Many of us have learned that when dealing with a tantruming small child, a random comment by a stranger can shock them into breaking out of it. Hence someone complimenting on the outfit. Don’t get into battles over outfits, especially if the kid is already out in public in it. You don’t “understand” a toddler - you either redirect or remove. You can’t fix the fact that the water they’re drinking is wet. Kid continually heading towards the river gets everyone put in the car right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many of us have learned that when dealing with a tantruming small child, a random comment by a stranger can shock them into breaking out of it. Hence someone complimenting on the outfit. Don’t get into battles over outfits, especially if the kid is already out in public in it. You don’t “understand” a toddler - you either redirect or remove. You can’t fix the fact that the water they’re drinking is wet. Kid continually heading towards the river gets everyone put in the car right now.

How ancient are you? Ugh, this is the opposite of helpful. Mind your business and keep it moving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you say?

You are in the middle of trying to focus on them, calm them down and fix whatever situation got you there.

Recently I got:
Old gentleman asking my child if we were abusing them (this was an unhelpful joke)
A woman telling them how great they looked (when the outfit they were in was not the outfit for the event)
More people interacting with said child that were making the situation worse and not better.

I didn't say anything because what can I say? I've got this, thanks?

Are you one of those who keep yelling for a Village? Well, this is a part of your village. The Village isn't always there to babysit and tell you how wonderful you are!

[Anonymous]

Why aren't you removing your screaming child from the area by putting child in car and leaving,!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you say?

You are in the middle of trying to focus on them, calm them down and fix whatever situation got you there.

Recently I got:
Old gentleman asking my child if we were abusing them (this was an unhelpful joke)
A woman telling them how great they looked (when the outfit they were in was not the outfit for the event)
More people interacting with said child that were making the situation worse and not better.

I didn't say anything because what can I say? I've got this, thanks?

Are you one of those who keep yelling for a Village? Well, this is a part of your village. The Village isn't always there to babysit and tell you how wonderful you are!

Nobody wants your input, and it has nothing to do with “a village,” Nance. Your need for attention and butting in helps np one but you. Seek the attention you so desperately need elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

If I were passing by, the only person I would even consider talking to is the parent as I said, “Hopefully you have a glass of wine waiting for you later today.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also feel your pain. I am not exactly proud of this, but one time on a pleasant autumn saturday in georgetown, an older woman approached my tantruming toddler who kept running toward the canal trying to jump in, and as i held my squirming child and trued to put them in their stroller, she said to my kid “oh your mommy is being ao mean to you, poor baby”. And i roared at her “go away, leave me alone!”

Sympathetic as I am, you only proved her point unfortunately

+1
Just like the behavior you SHOULD show your tantruming toddler, ignore her comment and continue doing what needs to be done. Or just say, "thanks" and move on. I don't engage the toddler and I don't engage unhelpful strangers. I definitely don't engage rude strangers. The situation corrects itself quicker with little or no intervention.

Rude strangers are the parents of the child disturbing the peace of the rest of us. Parents should be arrested for disturbing the peace!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you say?

You are in the middle of trying to focus on them, calm them down and fix whatever situation got you there.

Recently I got:
Old gentleman asking my child if we were abusing them (this was an unhelpful joke)
A woman telling them how great they looked (when the outfit they were in was not the outfit for the event)
More people interacting with said child that were making the situation worse and not better.

I didn't say anything because what can I say? I've got this, thanks?

Are you one of those who keep yelling for a Village? Well, this is a part of your village. The Village isn't always there to babysit and tell you how wonderful you are!

Nobody wants your input, and it has nothing to do with “a village,” Nance. Your need for attention and butting in helps np one but you. Seek the attention you so desperately need elsewhere.

Only parents of spoiled brats would have your reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many of us have learned that when dealing with a tantruming small child, a random comment by a stranger can shock them into breaking out of it. Hence someone complimenting on the outfit. Don’t get into battles over outfits, especially if the kid is already out in public in it. You don’t “understand” a toddler - you either redirect or remove. You can’t fix the fact that the water they’re drinking is wet. Kid continually heading towards the river gets everyone put in the car right now.

How ancient are you? Ugh, this is the opposite of helpful. Mind your business and keep it moving.

I have small kids and this was fairly accurate about how small kids’ brains work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you say?

You are in the middle of trying to focus on them, calm them down and fix whatever situation got you there.

Recently I got:
Old gentleman asking my child if we were abusing them (this was an unhelpful joke)
A woman telling them how great they looked (when the outfit they were in was not the outfit for the event)
More people interacting with said child that were making the situation worse and not better.

I didn't say anything because what can I say? I've got this, thanks?

Are you one of those who keep yelling for a Village? Well, this is a part of your village. The Village isn't always there to babysit and tell you how wonderful you are!

Nobody wants your input, and it has nothing to do with “a village,” Nance. Your need for attention and butting in helps np one but you. Seek the attention you so desperately need elsewhere.

Only parents of spoiled brats would have your reaction.

My 10 and 7 year old daughters are well-behaved, well-mannered, straight A students. They are complimented often.

But I have a nephew with special needs and I have seen with my own eyes all the attention seeking old people trying to butt in just to grasp the rare opportunity to feel some type of involvement. No one wants you. Deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many of us have learned that when dealing with a tantruming small child, a random comment by a stranger can shock them into breaking out of it. Hence someone complimenting on the outfit. Don’t get into battles over outfits, especially if the kid is already out in public in it. You don’t “understand” a toddler - you either redirect or remove. You can’t fix the fact that the water they’re drinking is wet. Kid continually heading towards the river gets everyone put in the car right now.

I definitely do not think many of us have learned that. At all. I have learned the exact opposite.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry OP. My 6 year old has autism and has had some really epic meltdowns in public. I cannot understand what’s going through the minds of people who decide to interject when they see an obviously distressed child and a mother trying to calm her. It takes a special kind of hubris to see that and think, “I bet I know better how to help this situation!”

[Anonymous]

People who are stepping in to say something to engage the child are just inept at managing their own anxiety around the public attention to the situation. In their world, everything is managed and controlled. A screaming kid is, in their mind, completely out of control. They can’t handle it, and even just walking away doesn’t work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also feel your pain. I am not exactly proud of this, but one time on a pleasant autumn saturday in georgetown, an older woman approached my tantruming toddler who kept running toward the canal trying to jump in, and as i held my squirming child and trued to put them in their stroller, she said to my kid “oh your mommy is being ao mean to you, poor baby”. And i roared at her “go away, leave me alone!”

Sympathetic as I am, you only proved her point unfortunately

Oh yes, she was super mean! A nice mommy would have let the toddler run into the canal and drown.